The more i try to cheer up my depressed friend, the more depressed i got!?

Question

One of my friend is depressed and in medications. I tried to cheer her up but it is so tiring to carry her weight on my shoulder... i am burning out! what should i do

Answer 1

Do not get YOURSELF down

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The WORST thing you can do is tell someone who is CLINICALLY depressed is to "cheer up" or "pull your self together"

This is especially so if the person is usually a stong character, because the more they pressureise them self to get well the more depressed they get because they are failing

A common feeling is, not only low self worth,but that the sufferer is likely to pull every one else down, or make others ill - more guilt and feeling not just worthless but actually detrimental to others

Get them to tell you if they are worse , angry , likely to blow.... and leave it at that .. behave normally



Tell Your friend :
I know you are ill to day but did you have a single minute today when it was not so bad ?

{ If yes:..........} well try to remember that and to morow you will have two minutes ., two hours when you feel like that and you will steadily improve

{ If No ...} well tomorrow see if there is a minute , 15 min , 30 mins when you do not feel so bad and try to hold on to it . The Next day you will have double the time when you are feeling not so bad ... like a quick burst of sunshine....gradually you will get better.

Tell your friend to GO WITH THE FLOW ...do not fight it but live with it until it passes ... it does pass: just as any other illness does.
IT'S ( usually) NOT like the FILMS; no body is going to say Your Mom forced you to eat fish and that's the cause, now you know you will be better - tomorrow

IT JUST 'AINT LIKE THAT




40 years experience ... take note

Answer 2

It depends on just how much she means to you. She is clinically depressed, as you stated, and that IS draining on others. You need to find out why she is not seeing any kind of doctor that can help her. This is not Your Burden so don't feel guilty for her condition. Even a General MD can relieve her depression. If you are close to her parents or if she's married, talk to her closest loved one about making an appointment with a doctor that will treat her for depression. You will see a great difference once she finds the right doctor, but it IS tiring waiting for her, I know. Hope you don't give up on her before you consider doing that. @8-)

Answer 3

Be careful because it will be a heavy burden on you if you take on their feelings. I am going through something similar with my nephew. He is majorly depressed and has terrible anxiety attacks. He always calls me to come over when he's freaked out. It does take a lot of energy and will start to affect your mood as well. Try to not let yourself get so involved, that's easy to say and hard to do. Sometimes you have to take a break from this person to re-energize yourself. Just knowing that you are there and just a phone call away will help. Take care of yourself while you are trying to help your friend or you will end up in the same situation.

Answer 4

It is hard to be friends with someone with depression. They can be very draining, and that is why many of them don't have friends. It is very nice of you to be so willing to help a friend through a tough time. That being said, if you don't take care of yorself first then you will ultimately be no good to your friend or leave. So take space for yourself. Also, actively try to not always be trying to cheer your friend up. Too much pity mcan make your friend more depressed, or feel helpless, which also increases the depression. Try to get your friend to do things, fun or even mundane. It is good for your friend to get out and not withdrawl.

Answer 5

because the guy or lady above me stated, this is unlawful. inspite of the actuality that, i'm more beneficial stressful consisting of your psychological state and wellbeing at the second one. in case you conflict through from melancholy and this is seriously affecting your life, please search for some respectable help for it. you do not prefer to be depressed. there is help accessible, even if it truly is treatment, or will be a help artwork force the position there are others that percentage your same subject matters. this is not something to be embarrassed about. Please pass communicate over with a relied on adult about getting help.

Answer 6

hey!
exactly the same thing happened to me about my depressed friend - and it gets to the point where you have trouble seperating ur feelings from ur friends, and u think maybe u r depressed too...

u got to remember that u nd ur emotional state come first, and that u don't feel that way about life. ur... well not ill. and this is gonna sound bitchy but get away for a bit nd get some fresh air - make some new friends, get away, whatever. dont forget ur friend, but don't let ur friend swamp you

i did tht, nd what more, she realised tht u hav to deal with these things, and she started making an effort to try and get over it
not saying its that simple, but hope tht helps
good luck!

Answer 7

don't take it on.
do you know?
what is the problem with you?
you take her pain as your own so instead of lessening that you start feeling the same.
cheer up.
try to do things which will actually make her happy.
if she does not
leave her alone for a while if you can't make this up.
try to understand yourself first.
i think you are not strong hearted person so you also get depressed too.
give her adventureous magazines, some interviews of iconic persons like film stars,go out for light walk, for long drive,involve her in cooking, give what?
your love and affection as much as you can give
what she needs?
a company of persons with strong arms who will lift her up whereever she falls.

Answer 8

I know . Some people just suck the life right out of you. I've come to realize some people just don't want to change or get help. I've ended some friendships over things I kept trying to help the person with. I finally realized it was taking more out of me than any thing.

Answer 9

This person is taking advantage of you. She's depressed and wants company. She is enjoying her pity party. For your own good get out of the situation. She needs professional help, but probably won't get it because she's enjoying being a martyr.

Answer 10

stop trying, you can only help someone who wants to help themselves or your fighting a losing battle, especially with someone on medication. you either learn to like them as they are or you don't, but you can ask that he doesn't burden you with such worries that you've heard before or can't help him solve, keep yourself happy above all, else who will help you when your depressed cause he won't will he? fine line between being a good friend to someone who's depressed and then becoming depressed yourself, don't cross it.