I am so unhappy in this marriage...?

Question

I am so unhappy. Hes a good guy - but I guess not for me... I wish I had never met him. Ive been wanting to leave for sooo long... I just cant do it! No kids... hes infertile. Im 25 and am living the life of a 65 year old. We never go out and all he does is complain - and fight with me. Never physical tho. I dont know what to do with this life of mine...

Answer 1

25? you're still sooo young. If this marriage has no happy ending,, it's time to get out. Just end it,, get a divorce and in a year or so you'll have met someone new,, maybe in 5 yrs you'll have a couple kids. Don't punish yourself,, or him.

Answer 2

You married him and he married you for reasons you both have forgot! Marriage is what you make it and if no one is putting anything into it well then you get where you are... Marriage is hard work! There are many differnet areas of a marriage and they all need attention and now you want to leave? and now you want to blame the unknown for where you are in "your" marriage, oh I guess he's not for me and I wished I'd never met him! what made you think he was for you to begin with? You've got some nerve! You both need to sit down and compromise and remember who eachother are and why you got married and how you got to the point you are at, you will answer so many questions and learn so many things that you might not feel the way you do anymore... You've made this life of yours! and it is up to you as to what you do with it from here on but happiness come from within and it is not his job to deliver your happiness to you on a platter - do you really think he is happy?! A marriage involves two people remember? and when one person isn't happy generally the other isn't either. You want to be happy and have a life - this is a small price to pay and can very easily be done get creative find the inner child in both of you allow it to come home but divorce well, thats the end! Theres only one of you and only one of him....

Answer 3

Go find yourself a good counselor. Find out why you are living a life you don't want to live. It sounds like you're both unhappy here and maybe there's a way to fix it and maybe not. Can you live the life you want to be living while still being married to him? Can you go out on your own if he doesn't want to? Can you get things in your life that interest you so you can be an individual again? Only you can answer these questions but if you're having that much trouble leaving, there must be something inside you that at least wants to try to make it work.

Answer 4

You're 25 years old with no children. If you're not happy, get out of the marriage. You're too young to be so miserable. You made a mistake when you married this man. Accept that reality and leave. If you don't want to do it face to face, leave when he's not home and file for divorce. Clearly you don't want to hurt him, but you've got to do what's best for you. Life is very short. Don't waste yours in an unhappy marriage.

Answer 5

Since you do not have children and you are so unhappy, then you are not doing him any favors by staying.
But think realistically what your life will be like in 2 years time if you go through with this. You cannot beat something with nothing.
People who are unhappy in their marriages - if they stay together - are likely to be just as happy as other people with happy marriages 5 years later.
But you are still young and not having children is a good reason to want out, so it is up to you. It is not a silly idea to get a divorce in these circumstances.

Answer 6

I feel right now you are only venting. When you are really miserable, trust me, you will leave. In the mean time it could be your are only bored and also you might be feeling a tremendous let down by your husband not being able to give you children. If this is the case you both might benefit from counselling or how about looking into adoption? Either way, I do wish you better days.

Answer 7

Hi hunny i kinda know wat u mean i was in an unhappy engagement and i said that we have to live with each other first then i found out that he was not the guy 4 me, as he was the same as the rule goes there is one good guy out there for us gals and when we find them we should never let them go and maybe this is just not your guy marriage is a strong bond that u have to last 4 ever u both have to be the same 4 it to work.
And on the subject of kids if u wat them that bad the will come to u maybe this shows that this is not the right man cause he can bless u with a miracle of kids.

Answer 8

Get marriage counseling. marriage is commitment, for better or worse. this is "the worse" part, don't just chuck it all without putting in a genuine effort to make things better.

edit:
WOW. I just read all the comments above mine. Amazing the attitude of society today. How little a marriage means to some people. After standing in front of God and everyone then swearing an OATH! That's supposed to mean something.

Answer 9

Look it takes two to make a relationship work so if you really want to be with him then you need to sit him down and tell him how you feel for ya to start doing things together. and as far as kids go there are alot of kids that don't have parents or you can do that thing where they fertilize you. But if you just don't want to be with him just tell him and leave.

Answer 10

Hi. you have to set a plan in motion to move on. Set your plan and work towards the big move. I was in similar situation and had to change jobs to earn more and slowly save and make plans. It took over a year but it was soooo worth it! You could be so happy by yourself. Woman often sacrifice themselves for men. Take the time to dicover and pamper yourself.
No-one can do it for you. You have to be brave but don't be scared, I am sure you are a strong wonderful.. and capable woman
Good luck