Does this person want more then just a friendship with my husband? And if so what can I do about it?

Question

i thought you were busy saving the world.....or atleast my fantasies . i hope you do well in your class and i will bring my (a game lol) i just miss talking to you... i'm sorry i shouldn't have told you that but we are friends or atleast i think we are ....bye jodi

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Larry
Date: Apr 16, 2007 9:02 AM


i have been very busy with studing for Lt., and tring to spend time with my family, my computer is in the shop and they r tring to fix it but it has issues! (it wasnt nt fireman proof), i havent been on messager for a while ether, i will hit you up next time i see you on but you better bring your "A" game.......
later

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jodi
Date: Apr 15, 2007 12:05 PM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY...so when are we going to play some backgammon? I'm having withdrawls again lol.It's been awile since we have talked so are you saving the world from fire? I've been working alot so I haven't been on much.Have fun on your b-day.....but not to much lol talk to you later bye.... jodi

Answer 1

Doesn't sound like your husband is interested but she does sound a LITTLE flirty there. It doesn't look like he's responded since the last message so I would take that as a good sign. Men can be a little clueless as to when girl is hitting on them and now that he knows he's probably just going to ignore her until she can go back to friend mode.

Answer 2

My dear, let me offer you some things you might want to do.

1. Talk to your husband. Tell him that you have indeed seen these e-mails, and while it may be silly of you, you are feeling very jealous. You don't doubt his fidelity for an instant, but you know just how attractive he is and how any woman would be drawn to him. Jodi may be one of these, and it makes you feel a little threatened. Silly woman thing, yes, but it's the way you are. You want him all to yourself; that's why you married him, after all.

2. Ask him could he please help you out by altering the situation some? Maybe when they get together for backgammon, it could be at your house, with you there. You'd like to be friends with his friends, after all. Ask him to include you in his social life!

(Corollary: Your husband mentions trying to spend time with his family. This means you. He is putting before Jodi that he wants to be with you. You may feel fairly secure in his affections--but still, it's not weird to be jealous when someone's flirting with your husband.)

3. Keep cool. Don't confront Jodi; don't be confrontational with your husband. That's the fast way to get on Jerry Springer, yes, but it's also the fast way to get on the divorce and/or assault dockets at the local courthouse. Treat this like a misunderstanding, which it may well be.

4. Be nice to your husband. Give him attention and affection. Remind him of why he married you! You don't seem about to lose him, but it never hurts to cultivate the garden. (I'm sure you do already, but it IS easy to lose track...)

I speak from experience. My own husband is very handsome, and he is completely and blissfully unaware of when women are flirting with him. Drives me nuts, and it makes me jealous, but he's so wrapped up in me (he says) that he doesn't notice or respond to them.

Remember, you love Larry! Keep that in mind when you discuss this with him.

Answer 3

First off... when men and women talk, even as friends they tend to flirt. In the back of everyone's mind is that thought "What would it be like?"

To be honest, you seem like a lousy wife. You're invading his privacy concerned about Internet friends. How stale does his love life have to be for him to flirting with someone online?

Yes it's common. Many women lose their husbands to flirty women who would probably be just as bad as you after a few weeks... why not try to be nice to him, tell him... no SHOW HIM you love him and do some flirting of your own instead of being NASTY and scouring through his personal affairs.

Take some advice from the bitter women above about being confrontational and further embarrassing yourself by behaving like a scorned teenager. Then you can run him off completely and it won't be a problem anymore... right?

You'll find whatever you look for... good luck!

Answer 4

First and most important, who is Jodi? Is it an old friend, an ex, a new online friend, do you know her, has your husband talked to you about Jodi? The emails seems a little flirty, especially the 1st one. And, "MISS TALKING TO HIM"? Whats that about. Does your husband know that you know about these emails? If no, then talk to him and find out whats going on. I dont find it appropiate for him to be sending emails to either an ex or a "new friend". TALK TO HIM, and make sure this dont get any further. Best Wishes : )

Answer 5

I think she is making a move on your husband and you need to stop it. You should first find out whether this person has some business connection that is in your family's interest to preserve, e.g. she is a Senator's assistant, but if he has no business or financial reason to have the contact, then you need to move to end it, unless she is very old or otherwise unlikely to be in competition with you in any way.
If you want to be sneaky, then you could add her name and address to emails that are rejected, but somehow I do not think that will stop it.
Your problem is that you are going to be said to be paranoid whatever you do and no one is going to admit anything. Moreover, I do not think that your husband is up to anything necessarily, but the girlish tenor of the notes is a dead give away.
Another approach is for you to email her yourself and copy your husband and give her some pictures for her interest - like a wedding photograph.
Good luck!

Answer 6

Jodi & Larry
Sittin' in a tree
k-i-s-s-i-n-g
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes Jodi with a baby carriage

OK, ok, the rhyme came into my mind becaus Jodi sounds so youthfully exuberant, like a schoolgirl. And Larry is just eating it up with a spoon. Yeah, I think she has a little crush on your husband -- otherwise she wouldn't have used the highly suggestive word, "fantasies".

What you can do about it is tell Larry you'll be keeping a close eye on this situation, so he better behave himself.

Answer 7

Why do not you stop in one evening and watch them from the parking zone for a jiffy. Then bypass in and introduce your self to her, saying how plenty you adore your husband and you don't understand WHAT you may do to somebody who tried take him from you. Then LOUDLY ask your husband if it particularly is the female he has been texting and speaking to on his telephone. "Oh honey, is this the little female who won't be in a position to run this little save with the aid of herself? Why do not you carry her domicile for supper and you're able to clarify each thing there, in front of the youngsters and the canines and me and all people else who thinks it particularly is done BS" "i'm going to be out front this evening if y'all want something.....". what's the two of them going to assert?

Answer 8

Tell your husband what you found, if he is sensitive to your feelings on it, then you should ask him to honestly tell you if this woman is looking for more. He will know, and make sure he looks you in the eye when he talks to you, if not, somethings up.
Ask him what he'd want from you if the situation were reversed and ask him to do the same for your sake. And personally I would send a message to the girl and tell her it's bad karma to mess with other womens husbands.
Good luck,
Mariah

Answer 9

A couple messages does not say much, talk to your hubby. Tell him what YOU are feeling and why YOU feel that way. If you are having an issue with this girl, it is your problem, he may just like her as a friend, but he may like to have emergency bootie just in case. you need to talk with him and collectively come up with a solution, you worrying about this will only hurt your health

Answer 10

Ask your husband what it's all about.
The first message is a little iffy... like they have been flirting with each other... that would make me wonder too if anything was going on.

The last two seem harmless, but again, you'll just have to ask dear hubby why he is talking to this lady.