Would you ever call your child stupid????

Question

As a mother and I understand that my children are only 1 and 2 1/2 but I cannot fathom ever using the word "stupid". I actually hate the word and I think it is wrong to use toward anyone. However, my husband recently became ill and couldn't work and I had to be the only one bringing home the "bacon" and he couldn't lift the children so we still had to send kids to daycare and we got behind on our bills. We have forever been trying to keep up. One of his parents friends donated money to help pay some of his medical bills, which has helped so much. Yet, we are still trying to get our other bills paid off too. Anyway, his parents called him stupid and I mean we are both working. I work 40 hours a week and he works 50 hours a week. Do you think they had the right to call him stupid because we are behind on our bills. I mean they said it very hatefully and then hung up the phone on him. I don't know if I am overreacting, but I am so so very very mad about this situation.

P.S.S.
They are always way too much in our business.

Answer 1

I dont believe that any parent should call their child stupid no matter what the situation is! At least he is trying!! But dont get upset over it because they are the parents! Just over look it!

Answer 2

Who knows what or why they said that. They have their own issues, and they may very well think he made some stupid choices. Now for the PSS, where you say they are way too much in your business. YES they are. You 2 are married with children, and unless his parents cosigned a loan
with him or both of you, your business is not theirs any more.
It is a habit for him, perhaps, to tell his folks what he is up to
financially. Time for him to stop. Don't remind him that they
called him stupid. But it might be okay to remind him that they were less than supportive when you all ran into a tight spot. Work on your finances together as a couple.
Living well is the best revenge.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

It is really bad to call children such words. This is usually done for two reasons either because the child did something we consider wrong or because we are nervous for some other reason. In the first case, however, what we think wrong may not be deemed wrong by the child and he/she may consider part of his usual activity. As for the second case, we should not degas our tensions on our kids. We should always try to make kids understand what is wrong and as kids differ, some are soo stubborn, we should first understand what is the optimal way to deal with each of our kids and then the job will be far easier. If you get nervous do not shout at your kids, because you are tired due to a lot of work to gain bread for them, remember not to kill thier spirits in order to nourish thier bodies.

Answer 4

They are not nice parents and not understanding at all. I hope you two work out your bills and move on without their help. But you need an explanation on why they would use that word. Maybe that's all they could come up with. Never depend on parents or live within a 10 block radios of your in laws. Good luck

Answer 5

I wouldn't call my daughter stupid. But I guess I wonder if they meant that HE is stupid or that they think something he is DOING is stupid. I mean, I'm sure that you just want unconditional support, but sometimes being a good parent is telling you what you don't want to hear. Maybe they think some decision or something he's doing is ridiculous and that's what they are reacting too. You said it was a telephone conversation, so you're quoting him second hand and now we're reading your question, so we're so far removed, who knows what the actual situation was?

Just another perspective.

Answer 6

Sounds like mom and dad slipped a little. No, they should not be calling their son stupid because he is under enough stress as it is.

Have you considered that these people may be getting up in years and starting to fail mentally? I don't know if that is the case, but I have seen older peoples' personality change drastically. They can say and do hurtful things that they would never do when they were younger. It's part of aging and dimensia. I don't know their ages, but this is something you should prepare yourself for.

Answer 7

If the child were to do something like follow his buddies off of a bridge and got hurt, then yeah. But when it comes to family matters, then never. Family is there to help and support, not judge and jury. One day they may run into a little trouble with something as miniscule as opening a jar of something. It may be a physical setback, but still something that would be easy for anyone else to be able to do. Don't sweat it, it's not worth stressing over.

Answer 8

No matter what the age of your child, nothing should be said to them that is hurtful. My mom has said I made stupid choices, but never called me stupid. It's possible that's what your inlaws meant, but they said it the wrong way. However, if your husband has an illness he couldn't help and that's the reason your having some financial stress right now- well screw them. You couldn't help that.

Answer 9

Thats horrible. I'm not a father, but am an uncle/godfather, and love kids. Calling your child "stupid" is such a horrible act, no matter if they are 6 months, 10 years, or 45 years old. I hope your husband didnt get too down on himself... sounds like his parents are complete dickwads.

Answer 10

A child is growing and learning! You can never call a kid stupid! My mother said I did stupid things, but that I just didn't know any better! I learned! And I grew with confidence of not making the same mistake again!