Ashamed of Breastfeeding?

Question

My husbands family constantly makes me feel ashamed that i am breastfeeding our daughter (who is three months)... when she gets hungry they constantly ask me to give her a bottle (she won't take it, i don't know what to do) I never breastfeed in front of ANYone besides my husband (who is Fine with it by the way) my poor baby gets hungry in public and i am made to feel i have to go home and Shut the door because i am a "pervert" "childmolestor" How is nourishing your child to be called such a thing? I am very hurt and would like to hear from other mothers who have dealt with things like this and HOW they handled it.

what the heck does size of breast matter? i have small breasts and i feed her and actually create TOO MUCH milk that chokes her... hmmmm thats interesting

:)) thats the funniest thing i've ever heard If she's three months old she's too old HA HA HA... actually she HASN'T gone long enough but it shows your true ignorance:))

I live in Maine USA

Answer 1

PRINT OUT EVERY SINGLE ANSWER YOU GET ON HERE, STAPLE THEM TOGETHER, AND GIVE THEM TO YOUR IN-LAWS.

They are certainly ignorant, rude, I cannot BELIEVE the "pervert" and "child molester" comments!!!! I would have absolutely slapped whoever said that. That is so wrong, and so hurtful. I'm so sorry you have to deal with such horrendous people. I wish they would be as ashamed of themselves as they try to make you about feeding your baby.

PS
I am still breastfeeding my 6 month old son, I have even been told that it's COMPLETELY WRONG to breastfeed a boy.

What is it with people and boobies?? Don't they realize that in most countries, babies are breastfed until some or most of their "milk teeth" fall out??? Don't they realize it's only OUR culture that oversexualizes the boobies to the point of them being sacred for men, but gross for babies? I think we as a culture need to wean our grown men from the breast, and give it back to the babies who need it.

Answer 2

I breastfed 3 babies, anywhere and everywhere we were. I did not expose myself to the public, I had a great sling or I would throw a blanket over my shoulder. With the sling I could even walk through the mall and feed the baby without anyone even knowing. Big sweatshirts work good too, you can hold the baby to your breast and pull the shirt over the baby. I even fed my baby this way at my sons preschool, the other little kids always asked why I was "hiding" my baby from them. You should never feel ashamed for giving your baby the best! If his family has a problem with it then they should leave the room and give you privacy. You should breastfeed as long as you are able, who cares what other people think, you know its the best. You should be proud that you have done it for even three months, so many Moms give up sooner. Good Luck!

Answer 3

You are a strong woman to breastfeed with all that pressure NOT to! I am proud of you, and your baby will be too. My grandma is the same was as your inlaws. I squashed her comments right after Teagan was born. What I did was, I just nursed my baby whenever she wanted it. Wherever we were. Period. I never used a blanket. Being "discreet" as someone put it is just reiterating the ignorant assumption that breastfeeding is something to be ashamed of. I've never flashed anyone, and no one can really see anything anyway, except perhaps my belly fat :).
I just told myself that there is NOTHING wrong with feeding my child, and I would never ask a bottle-feeding mother to go to the bathroom to feed her child. So, in public, I just find a place to sit (wherever is closest) and nurse her. I've gotten a few looks, but mostly people are just curious. I have no hang-ups about my breasts, so I don't care if they are curious. Most people have never even SEEN a baby being nursed in this country, which is unbearably sad to me.

My other family members, however, helped me to stand up to my grandma. Your husband should too. My family will talk to my baby, kiss her, touch her, whatever they want to do, while I'm nursing. They aren't ashamed of being affectionate or so accepting of what is normal. This really detered my grandma from saying much. Maybe your husband coudl adapt that attitude, and act like THEY'RE the weird ones whenever they make a comment. Just a thought.

I just knew I would breastfeed my baby, and no one coudl tell me otherwise.

Answer 4

There is no shame in breastfeeding. Please don't stop it or lessen it because of your in laws. Don't let your baby go hungry. I have not been in this position but I would suggest that you go into other room and lock it and breastfeed your child. When you are outside you can go away from them and breastfeed. What I would have done - I would not have met them till my baby was old enough to stay for atleast 3 hours of gap between feeds which is usually after 8 months or so. Then I would meet them only for that much time and go away.
Isn't that better?? Don't be ashamed at all. You know what is best for the baby. Don't let anyone take this beautiful opportunity away from you two. It will also build a bonding between you two. They are all jealous of you.
My mom-in-law use to keep questioning whether the milk is coming from my breast or not. Then she also use to say that the baby is hungry. But trust me I knew what and how much was good for my son. He is nine months old and I still breastfeed and that is a very good feeling. we both love it.

Best of luck !

Answer 5

Do not feel ashamed for feeding your baby in the most natural way possible. Not only is it the best for of nutrients for your child, it also helps to get your figure back.
I breastfed both of my children for 6 weeks each, after that I put them on the bottle, but it really had to do with my milk quality rather than a feeling of shame.
Tell your outlaws to mind their own business, how you feed your baby is up to you and your husband to decide.
And as for feeding in public, I used to feed my babies wherever and whenever they needed it, broad daylight, outside, in a restaurant, on the bus, anywhere. I was not ashamed to do it, and it's not like you are exposing yourself anyway, a good maternity bra and a blanket and no-one can see anything.
There is absolutely nothing perverted about breastfeeding, because if it was, why would your breasts produce milk? All mammals feed their babies this way, cats and dogs etc.
I'm not sure about in your country, but in Australia, malls and places like that have baby rooms, where there are change tables and little rooms with a nice chair and a curtain, so that you can feed your baby in privacy. Good luck with your dilemma. Keep breastfeeding for as long as you want, you are doing the right thing, and plus, you save HEAPS of baby formula.

Answer 6

I am so sorry people are making you feel ashamed of doing what is the most natural thing you can for your baby!

It is so sad to see people look down on breastfeeding. I have even heard of Muslims who look down on it even though the Qur'an teaches that it is the right of the child to breastfeed until two years old. They may ween themselves before that on their own though, but many breastfeed for the full two years and then their mothers ween them.

Don't give up because of their comments to you. Bring out the "Warrior Mom" in you and stand up for yourself and your daughter.

Perhaps you can get some advice from other mothers also on the La Leche League (an organization providing information and support to breastfeeding mothers) forum:

http://forums.llli.org/

Answer 7

Mystic is right. Find your "inner mamma bear" and protect your child from the ingnorance of your inlaws.

My own mother looks at me like I'm crazy when I talk about extended breastfeeding but that's not going to stop me.

I'm doing whats best for my son ...so everyone else can "get on board" or "get out of the way and shut up". ...lol

You need to remember that you too are doing the absolute best for your baby and you shouldn't let the ignorance of others have any effect on you what so ever...NO shame, or hurt or anything ....other than maybe pity...that they just don't know any better.

AND besides all of that...YOU'RE THE MOMMY...you outrank everyone.

I sadly, had to go back to work, so I actually do give bottles, but it's breastmilk, and at home we have a strict "no bottle" policy. So I only had to breast feed in public a few times during my maternity leave or on weekends...and yes the blankets are miserable, hot for you, hot for baby...and the "Hooter Hiders" aren't much better. frankly...especially if you aren't Huge (Sadly, I am...it's like trying to be discreet while trying to feed a whole canteloupe to a baby)...if you wear a tank top underneath and a loose shirt on top...it's real easy to nurse without showing ANYTHING...and it's much more comfortable for you and baby. ...BUT the added bonus is that if you do it in front of people......it might just embarrass them to death and then you won't have to worry about it anymore...lol.

I've honestly considered having a tee shirt made...it would read... "If it's soooo bad...STOP WATCHING!!!

GOOD LUCK and CONGRATULATIONS to you!!! Stay Strong...You're doing great by your baby...don't ever let anyone stand in the way of that!

Answer 8

That makes me sad and angry. Nursing mothers need support, not criticism. I would stay away from them until they can get their priorities straight. I haven't dealt with this issue, but I've had a serious argument with my in-laws over something that was none of their business. I visited them, but when they started attacking me, I gathered my stuff and left. I made it clear that I was there to visit, not to be picked on. They haven't bothered me about it since. Sure, they still call me names behind my back, and for that reason they do not get any time alone with my children, but at least my kids can visit with their grandparents. Do you have a pastor/priest/rabbi/shaman who can meet with all of you and help mediate this discussion?

Edit: I'm an avid public breastfeeder, and I don't use a blanket or poncho. I do (gasp!) expose an inch or so of breast, but I'm still more covered than my harshest critics. I was too shy once upon a time, but I'm more comfortable now. Take baby steps and practice in front of a mirror, especially while wearing your baby in a sling. Hey, maybe if you carry your baby in a sling, your in-laws will have something else to talk smack about! I would like to see the looks on their faces when you stride into the room with your baby nestled comfortably in a sling and nursing happily!

Answer 9

Aw, I'm sorry they are acting this way! When I first started breastfeeding my son, most of my friends made me feel like I was doing something dirty. I think it accounts for the fact that breasts are highly sexualized & treated like man's greatest sex toy - not baby feeding devices ;o)
If I were you, the next time someone asks you to give your child a bottle just say "You know, I wish I could but she loves this so much more!"
I was wary at first of breastfeeding in public, but eventually you get the hang of it & no one even realizes what your doing - and if at first someone stares at you, stare back! Make THEM feel ashamed for staring at you, someone who is just trying to feed a hungry baby.
As far as your husband's family, maybe have him take aside his mom & dad (etc.) & just have him say nicely "You know, she feels very uncomfortably trying to nurse the baby in front of anyone & could really use some support". That way you personally won't have to say anything but it would most likely get resolved.
Hang in there & Good Luck! You're doing what's good for your baby & that's all that counts :o)

Answer 10

Those first two responses are completely ignorant.
You have no reason to feel ashamed about breastfeeding! Its the single best thing you can do for your child! Your in-laws and anyone else who believes otherwise are ignorant and completely uneducated when it comes to breastfeeding. Try printing out some info. about breastfeeding and give it to your in-laws. Otherwise, its no one elses business how you feed your child so long as that child is healthy.
No matter what size your breasts are you should be able to feed your child, unless something happens, which is never because of the size of your breasts. Though regardless of size; producing milk and breastfeeding takes perseverance and dedication.