he will make a comment about some chicks boobs, or they way they walk,,, and even makes up questions on 'answers' as "jokes" that,,, to me,,, are flirty and crossing the sexual line,,, am i too uptight or is it not ok
2007-05-16 02:18:47 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Chill....
2007-05-16 03:00:23 · answer #1 · answered by db14 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
It is not in any way ok or acceptable. I can't stand it when married people act like that. I have a friend who says crap like that around his wife all the time -- The other day he was talking about some 19 year old neighbor who was washing the car in her bikini. He brought it back up like 5 times over a 3-hour period. But his wife didn't say a thing about it , although I know her well and could tell she was hurt.
The next day I brought it up to him and he was all like "Oh, Jenn doesn't mind! I talk like that all the time!"
The lesson here is if the guy doesn't know it bothers you, he will continue to do it over and over again. Just make sure you are being clear to him about what comments/actions hurt you and what's acceptable.
Then, if he doesn't stop, you need to get stern about it. Lay down the law. If he won't change, I would try counseling. Good luck!
2007-05-16 09:36:29 · answer #2 · answered by mistaken4sane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, a lot of men like him will act like you are being too uptight, but any women in your situation would totally feel the same way you do. My ex was a big flirt, and it made me feel like a total moron for being with him. I mean, I know guys will look, and I can deal with that. But when they all out gawk, and go out of their way and start making comments, then it gets old, it's disrespectful, and yes, immature too.
2007-05-16 09:36:53 · answer #3 · answered by angelbaby 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men can be stupid when it comes to dumb jokes, my husband does that too sometimes, and I was quite offended also. I said to him you are lucky you got me whipped, as you would suffer bad with most of the female nation, as that is a huge turn off to most women. He was stunned with my bluntness, and I said it shows a lack of respect for me, if you feel compelled to oggel be discreet, he didn't mean to hurt me, he just didn't know how in appropriate those wise a s s comments and oggeling in front of your partner is, just a dumb male moment. He is getting better, on occasion he has looked at a woman too long, and then the woman was nice to me, which surprised him, I said women have a secret alliance with each other and we all sympathize with each other when we see each other with a bastard. I said the woman was being nice to me because she felt sorry for me, she wouldn't want to be in my shoes, it was her way of consoling me, or her showing me I was better than the man. He is getting better, as I needed to teach him some manners in that dept. Many men wonder why they don't get as much action as they should, this is the number one reason, they make a dumb joke or have a one of those guy moments. Then the night or moment just goes off in a bad direction.
2007-05-16 10:38:53 · answer #4 · answered by Maria A. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no this is not okay at all and he is crossing a serious boundarie not to mention is being totally disrespectful to you! You need to sit down and tell him that this is bothering you and that it is very disrespectful to you. Ask him why he does this and let him know that it could lead to him doing other things that would devastate you. Open those lines of communication and if he still does this then ask for marriage counseling. If he says no, or continues to do these things you may want to think about seperating for a little while to sort out your life with him.
2007-05-16 09:33:11 · answer #5 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Next time he starts to joke around about stuff like that, try not to yell at him or act angry about it. Instead, talk to him. Tell him how you get offended and why it hurts your feelings when he does this stuff. That was he won't think its just a joke next time. Jokes are supposed to be funny- clearly you don't get a laugh out of this. Good Luck.
2007-05-16 09:35:52 · answer #6 · answered by LilMiss143 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends on if he will actually cross the line or not. I have this friend who flirts with any and everyone, doesn't matter to him. But, no matter what, he would never cheat on his wife. She didn't take offence to it at all, she knew that was just how he communicated with others. Its about trust. If you have a reason to not trust him, then you are not being too uptight. Then again, if he never has done anything to make you think otherwise, then just let it go.
2007-05-16 09:23:51 · answer #7 · answered by cinnatigg 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
I can understand why you get upset about it. I would be too. I don't think you're being too uptight. Maybe you should tell him how you feel.
2007-05-16 09:25:58 · answer #8 · answered by SweetMelly 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's not being respectful of your feelings. Talk to him about how his comments bother you. He should try to understand how you feel about this. Put him in your shoes "How would you feel if I talked about how sexy _______ is or made comments about every hot man I see?" Good luck.
2007-05-16 10:30:33 · answer #9 · answered by smt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not ok, and you are not uptight. He is being very immature and disrespectful. You might suggest to him if he has to look, to keep it to himself, and not to leer in front of you.
2007-05-16 09:29:05 · answer #10 · answered by Stefphe 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If the comments bother him ask him to stop, he is going to look don't try and stop that it will do you no good. But if his comments are hurtful to you bring it up. But you also better not be doing this yourself either about women or men.
2007-05-16 09:23:37 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋