why do most marriages fail?

Question

i was with my partner for 25 years the last 7 of them i was married to her but even though i treated her well and never once did i use any form of violence towards her she left me and got a divorce,so where did i go wrong

Answer 1

its quite possible you did nothing wrong. 25 years is long time - perhaps she just felt she was missing something. it's a lame excuse to be sure but either way - you aren't entirely at fault - it takes two, remember?

if you have remained on speaking terms, ask her straight out. if you aren't speaking, i would suggest going to a counselor - its evident your pain is still raw and until you deal with your emotions and accept the rotten situation for what it is, you won't be able to move on and find happiness again.

good luck.

Answer 2

You may have been following the golden rule, treating her the way you'd want to be treated - but people want you to follow the platinum rule, they want you to treat them the way THEY want to be treated.
I'm not saying you were a bad person, but maybe you just weren't doing/saying what she needed. Love is a choice you make every single second of the day. There had to have been signs that she was unhappy, because she certinaly didn't wake up one morneing and just decide she didn't want to be married anymore. Maybe all you did wrong was just ignoring (or not seeing) the signs of her unhappiness.
BTW - there's more to a relationship than not being violent.
Good luck - more open communication will help in the next relationship.
Even better advice - ask you ex wife where you went wrong - she'll be able to tell you for sure. That's probably why you're not together, because you never asked her what was wrong.

Answer 3

Marriage takes two, it's a full time job. One person in the relationship can not save a marriage it takes two. If only one person is communicating, trying to find the passion, trust, friendship etc... it won't work.

You can not try to fix something when it's already broken, you would have known your relationship was falling apart before then, you should have communicated, tried to fix it when it first was feeling wrong...

Just because you marry someone, you can get wrapped up in life and forget about the most important thing is spouse,kids, etc Family is worth fighting for, because if it all is gone family is still there.

Marriage is a full time job, you never stop working on your relationship. Don't take advantage of it!

Answer 4

If you can't ask her what went wrong, and get a straight answer, then you have your answer. Communication.

Spending your life with someone and not hitting them and no hurting them isn't the "best life ever". Chances are she wanted more out of life and didn't know how to accomplish it in the relationship.

Keep in mind that many times the reason for a divorce isn't something that you could have fixed. If you are kind and just being yourself, the issue sits with her. Thank goodness she took control of her life and didn't drag you down a road to misery with her.

Keep in mind that divorce isn't the end of the world. If you can't talk to her about it to find out what went wrong, close the door and move on. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you!

Answer 5

Jesus ! You only get 15 years for murder ! I am tired of saying this ... a man should have numerous partners ! It is pure natural to do so. Anyway that woman did very well for an innings like that one. Women must be kept stimulated and feeling attractive you gimp. And they do so when they need to wonder what and where you are up to at times.The more variety you give yourself the more interesting you will be to her. I hear the word cheating ? No way. How can you be cheating someone when you are keeping them happy ? I bet you were a barrel of laughs towards the end. You MUST make a woman laugh, (and not at you) ! Absolutely essential. They love confidence, bit of cheek, and especially surprises. As well as occasionally being... let down. Hope you grasp it man !

Answer 6

This is a common misconception. The actual statistic in Britain is a third of all marriages fail.

So two thirds or 66% are actually successful.

So the correct phrase is that most marriages are succesful.

Sorry to hear about your marriage, some things are just not meant to be. Better to accept it as resisting it will just cause more grief.

Some times it is better to just let go.

Answer 7

I believe most marriages fail because people are to lazy these days, if there is a problem instead of trying to work it out together it just easier to get a divorce

Answer 8

Marriage must be worked at by both parties. It takes two people who are committed to their vows, through thick and thin, better or worse. Unfortunately these days divorce is too easy and people take the institute of marriage with a pinch of salt.

Answer 9

Boredom. Failing to keep her interested and stimulated. Complacency. Getting married ( in the west anyway),inevitably sounds a death knell for a reasonably good partnership.
Move on !

Answer 10

She probably "fell out of love", it happens. Both spouses have to nurture the relationship, from start to finish, if it is one-sided, someone is going to be dissatisfied, and start looking for greener grass.

I can tell you this, if you talk down to your spouse, or talk down about them (she can't cook worth a damn, he never helps around the house, he/she is too fat, whatever,,) that is a sign of disrespect, and is the beginning of the end, it is basically an advertisement to the opposite sex that you are looking for action.