We have been together almost 3 years. We live 3 hours apart. In october he started lying about where he was and what he was doing. He wouldnt call me or take my calls for days and days at a time. Right after New Years he confessed and said he would change. Well now he will get better for a week and then fall back for a week. Last night he said he was working and this morning one of his coworkers mentioned he had a couple days off. So I know he is lying again. I have no idea why!!! He has no reason to! And when I ask him why he lies he says I don't know. I have given him soooo many chances and my last resort before ending the relationship is counceling. Is asking him to go to counceling to help him with his problems a reasonable request? I love him so much and I don't wanna give up on him. He says he 200% wants to be with me and loves me but then he does this lying BS. So if he says that and has a problem then maybe he needs help. If he refuses to go to counceling should I just end it?
2007-05-15 21:10:44 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dump him. Once a liar or cheater, always a liar or cheater. You will never be able to get that trust back now that it's broken. And he'll keep doing it as long as you keep forgiving him. He thinks he's smarter than you and can get away with it.
Save yourself years of grief. I wish I had.
2007-05-15 21:16:16 · answer #1 · answered by nightevisions 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I don't see how you can have a boyfriend that lives 3 hours away. (A fiance is a person you have a proposal of marriage from and you have a ring and a date set) Forget the counseling thing, he knows what he is doing and why just doesn't want to tell you. It sounds like you are the one that is keeping this whole relationship going. I think it is time to step back and see if he thinks it is worth any effort on his part. Stop calling him. Stop bugging him about his lies. Back off and give the guy some breathing room to show what he is really all about. No need to officially end it, it may just fade away if he doesn't step up the the plate and prove that he is worthy.
2007-05-15 21:20:28 · answer #2 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lying is a habbit that almost all people practice. What you should really know why he is lying and what is he doing during the times that he is not with you or not at work. Is he cheating on you??? Well, sorry to say so, but I guess he does. If he is cheating on you, do you want to forgive him because you love him and he says he loves you too?? Do you want to continue with such life?? Counceling might be helpful, however, it will only control his being more truthful but what about his actions? his cheatings if he does? will this change? Is he willing to do this sacrifice for your sake? I guess this is how he will prove his love to you. My advice to you is to talk openely to him first and try to figure out why is he lying, then suggest getting counceling and see what will happen.
Wish you all the best
2007-05-15 21:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leopards don't change their spots!!
It hurts being lied to. He is doing it because you are letting him get away with it. What are your instincts telling you? The bottom line is a relationship cannot be healthy without trust. You cannot trust him because he lies. End the relationship. If he really wants you and the relationship he will get counselling. If not you have saved yourself some time and grief. I've adopted a new rule in my life - three strikes and your out. Stand up for yourself and move on - you deserve better.
Take care
2007-05-15 21:23:26 · answer #4 · answered by flip 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bravo! That's a very reasonable and loving thing to do. The second question is yours alone. I stayed with a girl for a long time just in the hope that all people can change she didn't. I don't think all people can. If hes not willing to try you should do what your heart tells you.
2007-05-15 21:21:46 · answer #5 · answered by Bugt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A Relationship is a two-way street. If you are not meeting your man half-way most often - then he should be worth traveling farther. Is he? (or / and) If you are forced to walk further - are you getting any satisfaction doing it!? If not - Then stop walking up the wrong street!!
2007-05-15 23:28:20 · answer #6 · answered by Career-Craft 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some men can be complete ar**holes and some men are just fab...
my man is actually same as yours...
Says hes at work then hes not, says hes coming home and he don't.
I've given up trying to talk n if they dont want it, they just dont want it.
Now i just carry on with life as is whilst he still does his own thing and it will either work or it won't.
At moment we are drifting apart and i have other people interested in a proper relationship or marriage.
So who knows, i figured if he dont pull his socks up and fight then its his loss not mine...
hopefully you will get yours sorted xxxxx
2007-05-15 21:19:20 · answer #7 · answered by julie60988 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey princess, you should have ended it a long time ago. The guy says whatever he has to to get in your pants and it seems to be working.
2007-05-15 21:16:49 · answer #8 · answered by Big Dick McGee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you already know the answer and you just want permission. Go. Move on before he seduces you again and you get pregnant.
2007-05-15 21:21:00 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you should just suggest it and see what he says, if he really loves you he'll stick around regardless. Tell him you really want this to work but you feel you're the only one trying. see what happens then.
2007-05-15 21:18:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋