A question for people who have been adopted?

Question

If you have/or are thinking of tracking down your biological parents, what do you hope to achieve?

Answer 1

I was adopted as an infant by a wondeful family that is of a different race. It filled my life with paradox and gave me insight on racism that is unique. In 2002, an elderly neighbor offered to have a granddaughter of hers try to locate my birth mother. The only information I had was the final order of adoption and I gave it to her with no real hope of success. To my suprise, the granddaughter located my birth mother and called me just after Christmas. She had spoken to my birth mom and gave me her phone number which I called. I had just given birth to my first child that October and that experience made me realize what a hard decision my birth mother must have made. It also made me realize that she probably wondered if she had done the right thing. When you are adopted, you do feel a void. No matter how wonderful your family is or how much love there is between you, there is always a question, a seeking of beginnings. You look at your parents and other family members but you never see the echo of your features in theirs. Perhaps in my case this is especially true.

My birth mother was happy to hear from me but very concerned that our contact would cause problems for her as she had married and had grown children and she had never revealed her decision to her husband or kids. I told her that I had no intention of disrupting her life and that my main reason for wanting to find her was just to let her know that the decision she had made at my birth was a good one even if it was not an easy one. I wanted her to know I found a good home, a loving and supportive family, and that she had a new granddaughter. Since that first contact we have spoken on the phone several times and we have exchanged items in the mail on a few occasions. I will always be glad I have gotten to know her in this way and I love her for having the courage to examine her life when she became pregnant with me and be honest enough to realize she could not give me the life I deserved at that time. Knowing her, even though we still have not met face to face, has given me a measure of peace. There are fewer unanswered questions and I can give a more complete answer to the nature vs nurture questions that I've often asked in light of the differences between my family and me. It has also given me closure in my quest for origin, my search for beginning, and I hope that it has given her the same. It would be hard to send an infant into the unknown and wonder what became of them. I hope my contatct with my mother has let her feel good about that choice and given her peace. I truly am grateful that she offered me the chance of the life I have over the life she knew she could give me. One mother gave me life, one taught me how to live it. I love both of them.

Answer 2

I really have no interest in tracking down my biological parents. My parents now are my parents. I would just be curious to know what they look like, that's about it.

Answer 3

My medical history is extremely necessary.

Next, it would be great if she would like to speak or correspond with me, or perhaps a reunion, but that's entirely up to her.