I tend to use what some people call "big words" in normal conversation. I don't see it that way; I just have a good vocabulary because I am a serious bookworm. And when I was a child I loved to read the dictionary and find new words to use. Now it is just natural because I know what they mean, and some synonyms emphasize the point better than others. But some people (and especially one person in particular) get annoyed or offended with me and think that I am trying to insult them. It's because when they ask me what a word I used means, sometimes I think they are joking and will ask them if they are serious. Now when I talk to people I sometimes make it a point to use smaller words just to make sure they understand me. Does anyone else do this? Not just with conversation but also with personality. Do you sometimes "dumb yourself down" to relate to people better?
2007-05-15 18:42:51 · 30 answers · asked by Roni 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Katie k, your frankness is appreciated. The way that I speak is natural to me, and that’s the issue. I’m not trying to be haughty, I don’t even use $5 words, more like $3 ones. I just speak (what I consider) normally, and then I’m taken aback when I’m interrupted. I love words and language; it is an art form to me. When I was 8, I got tired of using the same words all of the time and not being able to express myself well, so I started reading the dictionary and thesaurus, and practiced using the words that I had learned. Now many of the words are a natural part of my everyday vocabulary and I unconsciously expect everyone to understand me in normal conversation. Most do, but it’s just a few people that I have trouble talking to. It’s not just with vocabulary, I also sometimes deliberately speak incorrectly, I guess to fit in, even when it doesn’t feel natural. I put on a façade to appease others and I’m beginning to feel that it’s just as bad as being pretentious.
2007-05-16 21:40:44 · update #1
Remember the "big words" is not the problem, but what others perceive about you and your motive in using them. That's the real question are you being haughty in the image of others.
I don't use "big words" in any conversation when it's uncalled for. Because it's seems that I'm trying to seem like I am better then the person whom I am talking to. People don't like that and may be offended. As a business man the way the world works is you have to be able to relate to other groups your during business with. Oprah went to South Africa and had her braids in and her South African clothes. She was not trying to wear her best clothes or most expensive Jewelry.
This person who has a problem with it may have a valid reason as you call it "dumb yourself down". Which by your own words are admitting that your are better than someone else. So in words your saying this person is stupid.
Like on the show the Apprentice this one guy was trying to use all of these big words to impress "The Donald" and end up making himself look like a fool to Donald, that old guy and that Lady who sits next to him. Because he was trying too hard to prove he was smart they already knew the guy was smart. He wasn't proving to them he was smart but to them that he think he's smarter than they are.
2007-05-15 19:34:44 · answer #1 · answered by justme 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that! I've always been a serious reader...my preference was the encyclopedia(before it was on Cd's) my grasp of vocabulary is pretty good and this annoys people so much. Its like I have two conversations...the first one in which I speak my normal way....and the second one in which I have to repeat everything i just said but "dumb it down" as you said. very frustrating....sometimes I just give up and say "Never mind".
Every year the American Heritage Dictionary gets fatter and fatter and yet the number of words and the variety(synonyms etc) seems to be dwindling that people actually use. conversations are becoming boring cause people use the same words over and over again.
people have stopped reading...period
2007-05-15 19:00:28 · answer #2 · answered by coolred38 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can relate as I also have a fairly sizeable vocabulary. If I know that someone hasn't had a particularly 'good' education and may be somewhat sensitive to the fact, then I will tend to speak in smaller, shorter sentences choosing less 'obscure' words. However, if it were to be a conversation with an old school friend and they reacted defensively to my vocabulary, then I would consider it their problem. I have never been over-gifted at solving mathematical problems but I would certainly never make snide comments to someone who was due to my own insecurity.
I have also found incidentally, that a lot of Americans will attempt to correct my spelling to American English and will go as far to label it incorrect which is irritating!
2007-05-15 19:04:54 · answer #3 · answered by Kble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in New Zealand, they call this cutting down the tall poppy or the "tall poppy syndrome".. That is, if you stand out too much, you might be cut down to size, right or wrong.
I use language that is natural to me. I am a reader too and worked in libraries for many years, so my vocabulary has been improved in that way, but in normal conversation, I don't go out of my way to use a five dollar word when a two dollar word will work just as well. That being said, if someone actually gets offended because I use a word they don't understand, that is not my problem. If they don't know what it means, they can go look it up or just ask me what I meant.
However it seems to me that your reaction might be what's offending these people. Asking them if they are serious might be taken to be belittling or trivializing them. Next time maybe just restating your thoughts in simpler language without questioning their intelligence might work better. Even a completely uneducated individual could be your boss one day.
2007-05-16 05:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by Aunt_Etty 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
All the time.
My family thinks that I believe I am better than them.
I just try to slow it down and speak slower so they can keep up, but I tell them all the time that I do not believe that I am better than anyone especially them. That is where I came from . They are just as much part of my my environment and the way I am today then any other factor. One family member in particular, who is always throwing salt, is the soul purpose I grew up reading. If I had anything other then a book in my hand he usually started picking on me! lol
2007-05-16 04:52:07 · answer #5 · answered by Kathrine B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As shameful as it is, yes. Like you, I have always read a lot from as long as I can remember. I am lucky enough to have parents who were always encouraging my interest in reading. The phrase "No, I'm not buying you that toy - but you can have a book if you like?" was a frequent one when I was a kid!
People often seem to have a tendency to malign academic or intellectual over-achievement, and having a strong vocabulary is (not necessarily correctly) seen as a sign of this. So I have frequently made adjustments to the way I naturally converse to accommodate the prejudices of others.
I wish I had the strength not too, though... I think it's already disgusting the way language skills (and spelling, punctuation, grammar) are disintegrating in our society without me contributing to it.
2007-05-15 20:46:10 · answer #6 · answered by WileECoyote 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tend to have friends that are on or above my own intelligence level. I have a very hard time relating to people that don't like learning, reading, or being intellectually adventurous. So yes, I do have to dumb things down for some people, but for the most part I feel very comfortable with the people I spend the vast majority of time with--I've made sure to find friends and acquaintances that will teach me as I teach them and keep each other on our toes :)
2007-05-15 18:51:08 · answer #7 · answered by embryonicreject 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes indeedy! It is called "dummying down". I have a plethora of friends. Professionals who use their vocabulary to get what they need. I then have my "street smart" friends who use their inability to express themselves in a intelligent way to also get what they need. I am conflicted sometimes because I try to keep these 2 different groups apart. I do a good job for the most part but a couple times my 2 worlds have collided and it was not pretty! My street friends would say..."What the hell you need that guy for"? And my educated friends would say... "What the hell you need that guy for"? I love 'em both because I get what I need from both. I can express my thoughts and have intelligent debate with my book smart friends. I then can express my true inner MAN with who I call; The Boys; my street smart friends who I love with all my heart.
Okay Did I ramble or what?
2007-05-15 18:58:29 · answer #8 · answered by Bosspooba 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes... I am a bookworm as well. This is going to sound really geeky, but a colleague of mine and I take turns trying to stump each other with new words and their meanings!!! My father always tells me to "talk at him in English"! And my sisters call me "the librarian" (which I am not, by the way!) Apparently it is not cool to have a good vocabulary!!!
2007-05-15 18:49:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I do this, and I have a similar childhood to yours. There are two ways that you can get over this. You can either find a group of people that are as smart and as articulate as you seem to be (I'm trying to do that, it's alot easier for me because I live in Fort Worth) or you can continue to dumb down your conversation and not let your true genius come forth.
If you're ever passing through Fort Worth come talk with me I'd love to converse with you.
2007-05-15 18:51:50 · answer #10 · answered by xengold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋