this ? is for women with kids?

Question

i am 19 this last feb. i had a baby girl she is the best thing that has happend to me. she is not the issue i have become a different person before i was always happy out and about me and my boyfriend got algo.now it seems that im mad all the time. i have every thing i said i wanted for myself i dont know whats wrong with me

Answer 1

I don't have any children....but it sounds to me like you may be suffering from post-pardom depression. Or could just be that your hormones are out of whack. You're NOT going to be back to normal that quick after having a little one.

Maybe talk to your doctor at your next check-up!

Congrats on the new baby!!!!

Answer 2

It will get better babe...I promise.I can't say it will get easier but it will get better.I found out that being a mother is a full time job..for real! Even at work.But I felt like that sometimes to, when my son was a baby.It's as if you lose yourself for a while.You feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and you can't do anything right.Baby is now in tow with you every where you go and you can barely have a minute to yourself.I know you said she is not the issue and I am for sure not saying that.But I think that it's motherhooa in general thats getting the best of you.This showa that you are not a selfish person though,because some women your age act as if nothing happened and don't have a worry in the world.I think that after a woman has a baby,hormones and everything change and it's the brain way of telling your heart that you are no longer first priority,which is a sickning thought to someone who is really just starting to experience the real world anyway.I hope you get I am saying,its hard to explain on here,but everything you are going through is natural..you just went through an amzaing life changing ordeal and it will take more than one year to get used to it..Meanwhile all I can say is take advantage of a babysitter and have some one on one time with you!

Answer 3

I can really relate to you. I had my son at 18 and I changed too. First of all, relax...motherhood will definitely change a woman. You have a whole new set of responsibilities and expectations and needs to meet. It is scary and stressful. These things can take a toll on a new young mother. You might even feel like the dad doesn't do enough...I felt that way. It seemed like he got to continue living his life just like he did before the baby was here and my life completely changed. It didn't feel fair. Unfortunately, alot of people don't have any idea what comes along with being a parent. It is great that you recognize that you are feeling this way. There is also a possibility you could be experiencing some post-partum depression. I would take this a step further and visit your doctor. Won't hurt anything to let them know how you're feeling. Also, I hope you have a good support group around you like family and friends that can come give you some time to yourself to go to something for a few hours that you enjoy. I wish you luck, but please know and believe that it really will get better...promise!

Answer 4

Honey, I have 5 children and from reading your brief scenario, I already know what the problem is. The problem is that while your daugher may be the light of your life, she's also changed you. After becoming a mom, you've lost some of your freedoms and have taken on more responsibilities in raising her. And that's frustrating because your boyfriend hasn't had to alter anything, your friends are still going out and about and there you sit....happy about the way your life is...but sad that you, in a sense, are also watching it pass you by. It's tough being a young mom honey. There's so much you want to do yet, and so many things that you've changed your views on. People your age without children don't understand and those that do, don't have the same views on the responsibility of parenting that you do. It puts you in a tough spot.

But, there is an upside to this. You said that you love your life and your daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to you. With that being the case, I'd say it's time to start another journey. Rather than changing everything all at once, make a little "you" time and re-discover yourself. Change what you don't like and thank God for the things you do. It's a mindset. Sort of like....some of us like to know that our baby is sleeping comfortably....and then there are those of us who ENJOY watching our babies sleep in the safe comfort of our arms. It's all how you look at it. Learning to laugh, especially with a young one, also helps. After five....I'm delirious....one more could have me institutionalized.

Answer 5

You don't need someone to tell you every thing is fine. Your whole life changed when your little girl came into this world. People used to say you just committed the next 18 years of your life. What species do they belong to? It's the rest of your life, honey. I am 57 and have been a mother since I was 18, and now I have custody of an 8 yr. old grandchild, so I am still raising kids. The difference today is that I know that every little thing she accomplishes is a wonder and I tnank God for her. You need to take some time for yourself and build a support system. Hang with your friends that have children and maybe trade off babysitting so everyone can have a little free time. I am sure you are going to take to motherhood because you are on a site like this, looking for help instead of some crappy trash site looking for a little comfort from some strange man.

Answer 6

You dont have everything you wanted, because if you did you would not be in a constant state of "mad".

You need to take a step back, look at your life as it truly is and determine if YOU are truly happy. If not, you need to assess what makes you unhappy and change that. It may mean talking heart to heart with your boyfriend, coming to a strong conclusion.

I am not saying break up - but to start being mature about the hand you have been delt.

I was a young mother and thought I was OK, not happy, but OK... I made a few changes and have been SOOOOO happy with my daughter, new boyfriend (vs. her father) and have made a GREAT life for my daughter.

She is now almost 21 and finishing her second year of college.... Oh, and the 'new' boyfriend is now my guy of almost 18 years.

Honey, you have to believe in you, before you can make your lives as happy as can be.

Take a deep look inside of you, talk to those around you, make appropriate changes and take one day at a time.

Remember that the one thing that should always make you happy is your daughter, each and every moment, of each and every day.

Answer 7

Well first off hunny, you may still be suffering from postpartem depression, it isn't always being depressed, it can cause anger to. Check with your doctor about what to do about that. The next thing may just be the shock of such a life changing event, especially at your age. Although you feel grown up and ready to handle it, your mind could be subconciously rebeling.
What you need to keep in mind that you are not alone in feeling like this and it will pass, but in the meantime, call your doctor and see what he has to say about it!
Good luck and hang in there!

Answer 8

your a young mother I was 18 when I had my first child, even though you have everything you could want you probley still feel a little tied down like you can't do anything if there is someone that can help you out by keeping your daughter a few hours so yo and your bf can go out like you used to and do things it might help you can also talk to your doctor it might be a bad case of the baby blues as well good luck to you

Answer 9

This is a very common symptom for not only young mothers, but older ones as well. It sounds as though you are in the grip of depression, something that can be treated. There is no shame in seeking medical help. There are too many medications that can help you feel stronger and more like yourself again. Don't waste valuable time that you could be enjoying your baby and your life. Seek a doctor's help. Depression shouldn't rob you of your maternal joy.

Answer 10

I think it is post partum depression which happens in alot of women after having given birth. Talk to your doctor about it he/she will be able to help you and congrats on your baby girl!