Husbands & house work?

Question

I have a wonderful husband, but when it comes to doing housework he is like a 15yr old, he acts as if he doesnt notice or doesnt know what to do !? but if i tell him to do something he says im nagging ! help how can i get him to do more without ''nagging'' ?

Answer 1

this is such an important issue and causes so much stress in a marriage. i applaud you for recognizing it and wanting to something about it. i had the same problem in my marriage and that along with other things led to the end of it. very sad. he said the same things but would do nothing (no housework, no yard work) & i did it all and worked full time too. sit down with him with a sheet of paper and talk calmly about you working as a team to get the chores done. let him decide first what he will be responsible for and write it down. you do the same. both examine the list to make sure all chores are covered so that the household is run well. explain to him that you are not his mother and you will not nag, but he is reponsible for his side of the bargain. agree to meet in 2 weeks from that date and review the chore list. discuss what was done, what was not done, and why. you can make adjustments to the list but ask your husband to treat it like he would a work plan. your marriage is more important than his job so his effort should be even greater for this to succeed. i wish you much luck and many more years of happy (& clean house) marriage.

Answer 2

Being a husband, it's very rare for a man to do
household chores, I know and most men don't
even know where or how to start. However some
men such as myself having maintained cleanliness
in my room when I was young and living at home,
I had an idea when I started helping my wife in
cleaning up our home. I still help her and have
been over 20yrs, and she helps me cut the grass
at times also. The best way is to sit down and talk
with him and tell him how much you would appre.
ciate him helping in something when it comes time
to clean the house. Talk to him nicely and ask him
and let him do what he feels more comfortable
with. Another approach is that he can help daily
by making sure dirty clothes are put in the hamper,
shoes, sock, etc are picked up and hung up when
not used, closet kept neat that holds his part of
clothing, and anything else that can help you along
the way, that way when it does come time to
clean the house the job will be less. And last but
not least if he still refuses, well it's normal as
most men think they are too macho to get their
hands dirty cleaning the bathroom and other parts
of the house. Good luck.

Answer 3

The major mistake women make about men doing housework is as follows. I have heard this: you take the garbage out because you love me. DON'T associate love with it. DON"t expect it be done right after you say it.

Chores are chores and will be chores. Most men see through minor dirts and cobbwebs. If he says he'll do it, he will do it when he feels like it and that is not immediately. Could be tomorrow or day after. Men drag their feet on chores except the ones that are time critical -- eg, garbage collection is tomorrow.

So what you can do is to generate a list and he will get to it with the mentality of CHEAP LABOR. Don't put down neat picking chores that he can't see any problem. Lastly, DON'T ask him to do it together with you as a sign of intimacy or love. IT AIN'T.

Answer 4

Do you own your own home? I help with laundry, loading and unloading the dishwasher and vacuuming and my wife tries to help me with my chores when she can, she has MS. At your house, not hearing your husband's side of the story, do you help him? Or doe's the grass mowing go unnoticed except by him, dragging out the garbage, electrical or plumbing repairs. There could be many things gone unnoticed by everyone but him. Does he nag when he needs help? There's a group we belong to and this was a matter of discussion once. Yes there are many things a man can do to help around the house but we found many woman didn't notice how much the husband's did without asking or complaining. Sit with your husband and discuss what it takes to run and maintain a house. Each of you make a list of chores and discuss them as to who should or can do it.

Answer 5

The sad fact is that some men were never made to take any responsibility for housework. Probably their mothers did everything for them and their dads. However, there are a lot of men who will accept half of the chores. Why? Because it is an issue of respect. Your husband should respect you enough to want to help in the house. If he sees how tired or unhappy you are, but doesn't pitch in to help, then I would seriously question the level of love and respect that he has for you.

Answer 6

Remember he is wonderful. When you are away from the house, tell him how he can help, ask for his help. (I swear this an honest quote - I'd appreciate it if you didn't get peanut butter all over the clean dishes.) My husband just is incapable. While he's cleaning up one mess, he's making another. If you can afford it, a cleaning service may be the answer. Otherwise, decide what you can live with, what you can't, and pick your battles.

Answer 7

Well it all depends on who works and who stays home,whoever stays home should do the housework to a point. Husbands that work full time should not be told that they have to do housework,most husbands help out around the house anyway , telling a man that he has to help is not the way to get him to help you , be slick about it and use your imagination on how to get him to pitch in.I know I did but in my case my wife at the time took advatage of me and realized that I didn't mind doing it and she started to slack off on her part to the point of she got just plain lazy and did much of nothing, so it is not only the husbands that will do anything to get out of work .

Answer 8

Sit down and have a talk about two grown-ups being in a marriage with a home that needs to be cleaned and kept up.

You are not the mother and he shouldn't expect you to act like one.

A wonderful husband is in the marriage all the way....no holding back.

Answer 9

This is the same for 99% of husbands! Mine can walk over something dead and rotten and not pick it up. And don't even think about getting sick because the house will be a disaster when you recover. Just get used to it. I used to scream and nag but it did no good so now I just do it myself.

Answer 10

sit him down and have a meeting. where you both come up with a chore list and who does what and when it will be done. If he refuses or thinks your nagging then tell him that things you do around the house will stop being done. If he doesnt do anything yet, then hes a lazy looser. Rethink this marriage! Most guys need to see why or what is the purpose to something. If you are going to explain things then i suggest tell him why it needs to be done! Clean house with chores done means a happy wife that will do things to make him happy! Then do those things to reward him. See you both have to win!