My husband and I haven't been married for very long. When we were just dating, we did things all the time. Now, we're married and we only have sex if he initiates it. I try to initiate it and he pushes me away. If I dress up and look really nice, he doesn't look at me with desire or even say something that makes me feel good, unless other guys are looking at me. He says that if I want sex twice a week, that's too much. We only do things once a month, sometimes more if I complain. I keep myself up, I used to be a model. I don't mean to sound conceited, but whenever I go out I stop traffic.
2007-05-15 14:44:48 · 30 answers · asked by Keke 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honest dialog in communication is valuable in trying to determine his reason(s), for his rejection of your initiated indication that you are interested in having sex with him. It's important for both of you to be honest with each other. No guilt trips on your part. I would like to know what his reasons are, but I'm sure they are valid to him, and he doesn't know how to express his reason(s).
2007-05-15 14:56:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things are never the same as at the beginning of the relationship. A lot of women wonder what happened to their prince charming after time has gone on and the initial state of romance, and first impressions are over. Your sex life may diminish in a relationship as time goes on but it shouldn’t cease to exist. It is a strain on a relationship when both parties are not being satisfied. You have the right to want a sex life with your husband and he doesn’t seem to be taking your needs into consideration. I think you really need to get to the bottom of why he isn’t interested anymore. It may be emotional, and it may be physical, but you can help the situation until you get to the root of the problem. Tell your husband that even though you care for him it isn’t fair that you are not satisfied in your relationship. If he cares about you, you should both really work on what the problem is, maybe even see a professional? I know it isn’t something many men are open to doing but, its worth a shot. You can’t go on being denied a basic human pleasure, people want sex and you have that right. You have to be happy in your relationship
2007-05-15 14:54:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same thing happened to me, but my husband worked out all the time and it tired him out. Now that I'm use to only having sex every few days he wants it everyday. I don't think he's lost interest in you. I think he just feels that now the sex isn't as fun as it was before because it feels it's required now. I suggest going to see a counselor to find out the true meaning behind his lack of enthusiasm towards sex. Or you could try renting a hotel with a jacuzzi tub, buy some sexy lingerie, get some candles and set the mood that way. Or ask him what his fantasy is, I know my husbands was to have me dress up in little outfits. He also wants a threesome but he's not getting that one. But try asking him about his fantasies, ask what he'd like to see you in, or if he feels constricted because he's married to you tell him you can role play. Pretend you're the maid, or have him pretend he's some random stranger. Something along those lines has to work, unless it's a bigger psychological problem, which can usually only be fixed with therapy. I hope I helped.
2007-05-15 14:50:55 · answer #3 · answered by Danielle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey we have something in common and that is that we both used to be models. And trust me when I say I am not conceited either. Anyways but getting to tell you about my opinion girl i think what you should do is talk to him straight up and see what is bothering him somethings must be going on with you husband.
And the question I would like to ask you is how is your sex?
If it is whack then maybe he is not interested in doing it with you or if he has problems pleasing you then maybe that could be the problem girl communicate with him and get down to the bottom of what is going on you do not deserve him making you feel not wanted. You deserve better
2007-05-15 14:56:22 · answer #4 · answered by mary o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my husband. We were the same way we are only in our 20's and we used to have sex like 3 times a day then down to like once or so a month. It took me time but I figured out it was b/c he "thought" he was depressed and was on meds for it. After I got him to stop taking them things went back to normal. So check to see if and meds he is taking could have that side effect.
Good Luck
2007-05-15 15:51:12 · answer #5 · answered by short_cake02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are too many things that could cause this. We all have a measure of desire , some more some less.
One possibility is that he feels inferior to you and your sexual advances make him feel less able to perform. The male animal is week. a woman can create a superman or cause impotence.
There is not enough info, but My suggestion would be to seek a sexual psychiatrist. Be careful of your words with him.
Good luck.
2007-05-15 14:58:22 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, I was once with a guy that was the same and I too used to model and it KILLED my self esteem that he was not interested in me. Turned out that the reason was because he was seeing someone else behind my back and getting sex from her, so he didn't need it from me anymore.. Needless to say we are no longer together
2007-05-15 14:54:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is at an age, like alot of men middle aged, erectile dysfunction and ashamed to tell you he cannot get hard as often anymore. Talk to him and explain that you understand and Love him regardless and then take him to the Doctor for some Viagra. It really does work and saves alot of relationships..
2007-05-15 14:52:39 · answer #8 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one seems like he knows if he wants some you will be there for him. He seems like he knows you will do it whenever he wants it and not when you want it. But if you want to talk more about it you can IM me anytime. I bet your beautiful and sexy and have a delicous body that he doesn't appreciate. But the best thing to do is just keep trying or just tell him or give him an ultimatium .
2007-05-15 14:51:40 · answer #9 · answered by Always ready for anything 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that he is depressed. Is he happy with his career? Is he stressed about money and bills? Is he frustrated that he doesn't have a better life? Sometimes people are disinterested in life in general and that comes from depression. It's difficult to get someone like him to the doctor for diagnosis but try. This is no life for you and it will only get worse as he gets older.
2007-05-15 14:49:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋