i feel so sad, we dont understand each other, we cant talk cause it turns into fights and lately everything i try to say he just says shut up stop crying. i dont know what to do, im tired of it.
2007-05-15 14:32:30 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you can ask him to consider marriage counseling. or, you could go to counseling on your own, to see if that helps.
seems as if neither of you know how to communicate properly.... you cry, he says "shut up"... calm discussions about issues and problems, letting each other know how you feel and LISTENING usually work wonders.
we can't tell you whether to stay or leave when it comes to your husband. you really need to work on your own marriage, if you think it's salvagable... then decide.
hugs to you, hon. i hope things improve...
2007-05-15 14:39:02 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you leave? Marriage is a life long commitment and you should honor that. Distance yourself from him and give yourself some space for awhile. Talk as little as possible while still being respectful and civil but don't get drawn into go nowhere conversations. Let him know you love him but right now you are unhappy with where the marriage is and you need some time to think some things over and figure out some solutions. Ask him to do the same and in a couple of weeks see if you can sit down as slowly resolve somethings. What ever you do if you talk and it starts getting heated just say " we are not going to get anywhere talking like this lets just cool off and maybe talk tommorow.
2007-05-15 21:47:57 · answer #2 · answered by Maizy * 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should make a nice dinner on Saturday and sit down to eat. During dinner you should ask a few simple questions. Nothing that will make him mad. Don't accuse or blame. Just simply say that you would like to talk with him and stop fighting. Tell him you want to get back to the place you were when you got married. Then don't talk. Let him talk. If he starts blaming you for everything from the dog running away to why he doesn't have a better job, then I would say it is time to leave him. You deserve better.
2007-05-15 21:39:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT! LEAVE! Run don't walk. He is an abuser. He does not respect your feelings and these types always get worse. You sound beaten down and depressed. You are a valuable person who deserves to be heard and treated with respect. No husband who loved his wife would say, "Shut up and stop crying". Trust me....I know....it will only get worse if you stay. Go out and get some self confidence, some selfrespect and find someone worthy of you. He is not.
Good luck to you.
2007-05-15 21:39:33 · answer #4 · answered by K G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to be the devil's advocate here, but sometimes you have to take a deep look inside yourself and try to figure out what you can change in yourself to change the situation. It's not always the other person to blame. Maybe it's how you approach things? Maybe your low self esteem makes it hard for him to also treat you with respect? If you do some improvements on yourSELF, you may actually find that you don't need the bum anymore! That you have the strength to move on! Loving relationships always include RESPECT! Get it from him or get out. Good luck girl!
(comment based on experience.)
2007-05-15 21:52:12 · answer #5 · answered by Emchelle 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Abuse comes in many forms. Emotional has to be the worst.
You can't see the bruises because they are deep in your heart and selfesteem.
Stop crying and ask him out right, "Yes or no, Do you love me?" If the answer is yes then tell him you love him too and give him a kiss and find something to do in an other room. if it's no then ask.. " Yes or no, Do you want to end the marriage?" If the answer is yes just quietly go and pack. If it's no, tell him you want to spend the rest of your life with him if he's willing to stop making you cry.
2007-05-15 21:58:22 · answer #6 · answered by L Coco 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you feel no love and you never see even one ray of hope from him, then you may want to end the relationship. There is more to life than perpetual fighting, crying, and no communication.
2007-05-15 21:42:19 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must talk with a marriage counselor -- get him to go with you if possible. Go by yourself, if he won't go.
Don't give up on him yet. Remember what it was that made you fall in love with him before you married him. A counselor can help you get back those feelings that led you two to get married.
Good luck!
2007-05-15 21:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by Russ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey if you can't set down and talk now,then it is not going to get any better.I no you love him and want to be with him.But is the abuse worth it .To be abuse every day of your life.We have feelings and you should get out of it.Honey life is to short to live in that mess.I got out of mine .Frirst the yelling then the fist.Trust me that fist hurts.Dont live in it.I wish you the best.No one knows what goes on behide close doors.
2007-05-15 21:42:40 · answer #9 · answered by rebecca_autry2003 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him a chance and talk about your feelings with him. If need be, see a marriage counciler
2007-05-15 21:35:20 · answer #10 · answered by I adore YOU 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋