I am not against him but have just discovered some issues and dont know how to deal with them I have a lot of friends that are gay that is not the problem It is just so close this time and hard to cope how di i do it
2007-05-15 13:21:18 · 26 answers · asked by roc 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I suggest you contact PFLAG, an organization that helps people cope with having LGBT family members.
Good luck to you and your grandson.
http://www.pflag.org/
PFLAG.org: Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
2007-05-15 14:23:56 · answer #1 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a lot of gay friends, why are you having a problem coping?
Is he the only grandson and you wanted greatgrandkids?
What issues did you just discover?
As others have said, he still the same person you have known and loved it;s just that you now know he is gay.
2007-05-15 18:28:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you have some issues, if you say you have gay friends "but this is just so close".
Why is it that you feel it's okay for others to be gay, but not any of your own flesh and blood?
It's basically the luck of the genetic draw, which would also indicate that something within your genetic family history contributed to it. So you shouldn't feel badly, as your genetic makeup may have had something to do with it.
Gay people have more than enough to worry about without having to stress over whether family members will reject them. Be supportive of him and make sure he knows that you love him no matter what.
Remember, it's just life, and everybody is dealt a unique hand with different strengths and weaknesses. Being gay is just one facet of an individual and it doesn't define them. Don't let it define your grandson for you.
2007-05-15 13:52:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
In this situation the best thing to do would be to treat the situation as if it never happened. In other words even though you know your grandson is gay you need to treat him the same way you did before you knew.
There are higher rates of depression among GLBT folks and according to the American Medical Association this emotional disturbance is not due to physiological reasons but is a result of feeling alienated in an unaccepting environment. It will take some time and practice on your part but over time you will get better at being comfortable around him and accepting him for who he really is.
I'm sure it must be of great shock to you. I'm gay and even when someone else tells me they're gay it still shocks even me at times! I wish you all the best in your endeavors...I'm sure you'll be just fine!
2007-05-15 15:43:40 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Sexi Man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is he any different today than yesterday? Did you love him yesterday? Then what really changed? Focus on the important stuff, don't sweat the little stuff. You certainly did not stick your nose into what he was doing in the bedroom when you thought he was hetero, so why would it be your concern now that you know he is homo? Again, what has really changed? He didn't kill or maim someone, steal or commit treason. He chose to go the path where he was happiest, and you should be happy that he did.
2007-05-15 17:11:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing, because nothing has change, he was born gay, and he is still gay, serious, he is still you grandson, since you said you are not against gay, what do you have to cope for.
2007-05-15 14:16:11 · answer #6 · answered by Bounce Up 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look into PFLAG, http://pflag.org/
Seriously, it's parents and family and friends of lesbians and gays, they'll help you with all of your issues, and help you come to terms with it.
Also give yourself time, you can cope with it in time. And talk to your grandson, you have to realize that this is fundamental for a lot of people, so it's hard to come to terms with, but you also have to realize that your grandson hasn't changed one bit, he just came to terms with who he is, and that's okay.
In time you can cope, meanwhile he's still your grandson, he hasn't changed at all. Well you can argue that he's gotten braver, it takes a ton of courage to come out and risk that type of rejection, you have to give him credit for it.
2007-05-16 03:35:56 · answer #7 · answered by Luis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PFLAG is a great organization. They will have a lot of helpful information.
Check your local library or bookstore for books on what to do when a family member comes out. Here's a book on Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/Out-Closet-Into-Our-Hearts/dp/0943595843
The book's title is "Out of the Closet Into Our Hearts: Celebrating Our Gay/Lesbian Family Members"
Be happy! He doesn't have to go through years of self-denial and self-hatred.
Finally, when I was dealing with this, I very much wanted to hear "I love you no matter what." My situation has been different. I have received conditional love my whole life (43 yrs), and it hurts.
Also, don't be too hard on yourself. Regardless of your age, this is another growing experience.
2007-05-15 14:10:47 · answer #8 · answered by inactive account 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure why you are even asking. Did you love him before you found out? If the answer is "yes", then there should be no difference now. He is the same person as before. If there is something that bothers you, talk to him. You'll see he is the same as any young man, he just likes guys instead of girls.
2007-05-15 13:33:02 · answer #9 · answered by Louie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
being gay is not a disease. He is the same person he was before he "came out" so there is nothing to "cope" with. Just continue to be the same loving grandparent you've always been.
2007-05-15 13:30:03 · answer #10 · answered by Pandora 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋