Was with her for 6 years, 2 of which we were married before she left. Its been 7 months and still everyday is a battle...when does it end? I am doing everything right. Hanging out with people, going to the gym, working alot, going to church, taking trips with the church but I still don't feel connected with people. Even been on a date or two. I still feel so empty and hopeless about 90% of the time. Is there a time table?? Thanks.
2007-05-15 13:16:24 · 16 answers · asked by fedup 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No time table that I know of. Each person is different and has their own way of dealing with the pain. With every passing day the pain will become less and less until the day comes when you can deal with it. I can tell you that 7 months is a very short time to be able to deal with divorce pain so dont rush it and back off trying to force it away. Definitely forget the dating scene until you are absolutely sure youre ready. Another woman wont heal or stop the pain, but will probably compound the feelings. Be patient with yourself. Good luck
2007-05-15 13:26:07 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no time table. Everyone is different and grieves over relationships at a different rate.
My first divorce was horrible. I loved that man with everything I was. I believed that our marriage would last "Til death do us part" but it only lasted 2 years. We were together for 4. He was my best friend (or so I thought). I was devastated when we broke up and went on a very self-destructive path. I was angry and sad and lonely and felt worthless. I wasn't aware I was depressed ... I just denied my feelings for a very long time.
You sound like you are on the right track. I would suggest meditation and perhaps a chakra cleansing or a smudging to get rid of all the negative and stagnant energy surrounding you.
Bright Blessings.
2007-05-15 13:25:17 · answer #2 · answered by )0( Cricket Song 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Working through a divorce is a process. There is the initial shock, then the hurt and pain, and then the anger. You need to allow yourself time to work through each level. If you find that each day you get up is the same or worse than the day before, then perhaps is it time to seek professional counseling. A counselor can help you see the events of the divorce in a different light and can give you alternative ways of thinking about the causes, effect, and aftermath. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
2007-05-15 13:26:46 · answer #3 · answered by Lyn D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good thing that u resort to healthy activities. Keep it up. Remember when we are too attached to someone, it really is hard to part with, even the memories! But u hv to open ur eyes and heart, and thank GOD (u go to church, right?) 4 giving u the opportunity to experience the feelings. It matures u and certainly will help u to understand people better in future. The rejection is very painful, I know (been there!) but u hv to always believe that GOD has something BETTER 4 u in future! So shut ur mind against her and slowly pull urself together, be happy. Tell urself aloud....YOU CAN IF YOU WANT!
2007-05-15 13:32:48 · answer #4 · answered by ni2penang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 4 yrs and pregnant with our first child. My husband told me the day after the baby shower that he wanted a divorce and moved out soon after. I know exactly how you feel. I just kept busy, took care of my son and 2 foster daughters that we had at the time, went back to school and got a part time job, spent time with family...
I would go on dates here and there but they just made me feel worse...it wasn't til about a yr later that I started to feel better...but I was severely depressed and had lost alot of weight. I was always thin but I ended up a size 0 and I am 5'6........that is how sick I was.
and if it makes you feel better, go into chat rooms and talk to other people, that helped me alot to talk about it and whats great about chat rooms is that is complete strangers that you can talk about with anonymity
2007-05-15 13:33:12 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you are grieving the death of your marriage,there is no time table and each person handles this differently.i am sorry about your pain i was married to my husband 24 years .long story and though i will always love him and care for him i know he is my past and i accept that i can love him and not be with him and thats ok.you are doing all the right things but your hearts not in it.maybe if you did something to help someone who really needed it your grief can pass.try helping out with kids or senior citizens or at the local animal shelter.you will feel much better if you can give hope to someone else.it will get better and you will find love in time.good luck.
2007-05-15 13:38:54 · answer #6 · answered by dixie58 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did the same things as you, however, the one thing I didn't hear you say is how have you dealt with the reasons your relationship/marriage ended....regardless who cast the last stone, both have something to own that caused the break up...it took soul searching for me, bcus I thought I was perfect, to find my faults and deal with them...it has given me confidence to assure to the best of my ability not to repeat those things that contributed to the end of my marriage...I continued to be outgoing, just as you sound like you are, and eventually wanted to be back in a relationship and now am..perhaps your just not ready, perhaps you have a thing or two to deal with first.
2007-05-15 13:27:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good for you, you are doing what you need to on the outside...being social, acting as if things are okay...but there is one thing you are doing wrong/neglecting...your inside.
Depression goes from a temporary mental condition to an actual physical condition (where your hormones & other chemicals are involved)...if you don't take steps to fix it immediately.
You need to get to a psychologist and #1 have someone you can vent your dispair to & #2 get some medications to help balance the chemicals that are off inside you.
Trust me, it WILL help...
2007-05-15 13:26:21 · answer #8 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately there is no timetable. We all heal individually. Keep doing what your doing. surround yourself with friends, family, and activities. All you can do for now, is be patient. maybe even have some therapy. I know a lot of people look down on that, but really, its NEVER a bad idea. You do what you have to do. Feel Better!!
2007-05-15 13:28:01 · answer #9 · answered by samantha22482 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Myabe instead of trying to get connected to people you need to get connected to JESUS! He's the best choice for a friend right now. You'll be just fine. He'll bless with with another love and the best if yet to come. Just hold on and hold your head up
Peace and Love !
2007-05-15 13:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by moogles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋