I'm a professional man living in san diego, and wondering why california laws have it so easy for women to take advantage of hard working men. I've been divorced for 5 years and was married for 11, after 5 years of divorce my ex wife still has not attempted to better her life (education,training, job) i pay both spousal support and child support. When we divorced i paid her a settlement of $150,000 (not including monthly support) and guess what she's living from pay check to pay check with the $8000 a month i give her! How can you be broke with that money? Some women do not get anything! i'm planning to take her to court in a couple years to end the spousal support. This marriage was planned, this divorce was planned she knew that my career would hit and played me. It's riduculous to know that i'm paying for a GROWN woman, ladies what do you think? Are most women like this? And why are the laws like this? i could understand if i was a cheater, or an abuser, or a bad person!
2007-05-15 13:03:01 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you were married for 11 years, California says you pay spousal support for 5 and 1/2 years. After that, you should be done! Child support - well, that's until the children are 18 and out of high school (or emancipated), that you can't do much about. She should be able to live on $8,000.00 a month without a problem.
To answer your question, though, no not all women are like that. I was married 19 years, and I wrote out our divorce agreement myself. He paid alimony until I remarried (which ended up being 6 years, so he did get off easy on that one), and child support until our son was 18. He owed me back money when I was about to get married, so I told him if he paid me -blank- amount ($4000 short of what he owed me) he'd be done, and I wouldn't ask for anything, ever. He agreed (even though he really should have just paid it all, in my opinion since he makes 5x the money I do) and we were done. I figured after I remarried, I'd be lucky to see a dime, so most of it was better than nothing.
I think your ex should get off her dead-beat butt and find a way to support herself. You shouldn't have to pay for her laziness after the 5 1/2 year mark. Good luck!
2007-05-15 13:16:17 · answer #1 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-15 18:55:43 · answer #2 · answered by Evelyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not just a problem in California, Im afraid to tell you. Men are feeling theyre get a raw deal when it comes to divorce court all over.I hate to inform you that you can only go back to court after the final divorce decree is issued is for child custody and/or support only so you may be paying spousal support for quite some time unless she remarries and thats not guaranteed. This is why men must do their homework to know fully well what theyre getting into and quit thinking with something else. Good luck
2007-05-15 13:15:58 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In tis time and age the laws are not favoring any sex. The judge will do what he feels is necessary for the welfare of the person at hand. You cannot explain why things happen the way they do you just try and deal with them and go on with your life. I have known many people that have divorced and the men get the children. I had a friend that went through a divorce and she was in the military because her husband at the time could not work because of some injuries. The judge gave him the kids because he said that she was an unstable parent. SHE could defend the country but she was an unstable parent to her children, what kind of crap is that. So you might want to do a little research before you go on this pity men trip.
2016-03-19 05:49:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/yJuWL
Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.
2016-07-18 16:34:23 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like a huge amount of money to me, I have no clue as to how one could be broke on that.
Yes I agree that she should get off her bum and help herself - but receiving large sums of money like that is hardly an incentive to try. Sounds like she's developed a welfare mentality. Taking her to court over this sounds like a good idea - you can keep some of your money and also be 'cruel to be kind' to her, and give her the incentive to get off her bum and make a life for herself.
Trust me, friend, most women are not like this, only some, so don't let one example taint your view for the future.
I dont know why the law is like that over there. Divorce laws are very different in this country, husband and wife just get half each - simple. Men only pay for children and that's it.
I can now see why prenups are becoming popular in the USA -there seems to be a good reason for them.
Kind regards, Penny xx
2007-05-15 13:25:22 · answer #6 · answered by Vanessa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad! It is not just California, it is everywhere! The laws play on the fact that if a person is successful they will have to carry the weight of someone else. And if you want to be a no body/worthless person, and if you play your cards right you will be taken care of. Sorry, but it is a fact of life. Example! If a criminal breaks the law, odds are they will get off light or get nothing at all. If a honest successful person breaks the law, they will get sent to jail or the max fine. I See it every day!
2007-05-15 13:20:08 · answer #7 · answered by krash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was she working when you all got married? Did she quit her job to raise your children? Did you request a vocation exam be given to your ex which would show if she has the skills needed to obtain employment? I live in Ca too and will be divorcing my husband soon and I may have to pay half of HIS pre marriage debts because I, having the good credit, put his debts on MY credit card. Sorry..I think I am raising more questions than actually answering any. Good Luck
2007-05-15 13:24:43 · answer #8 · answered by BPB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a community property state. The person that gets screwed without a prenup in California is the one with the most money. Heck even with a prenup in California the person with the most money can get screwed. Look at Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. He was making more money than her when they got married so she refused to sign a prenup. That certainly came back and bit her in the butt when they divorced because she was making MUCH more than him by then.
2007-05-15 13:17:00 · answer #9 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same reason some women do also. Not all men get screwed in any divorce in any state. It all depends on your lawyer. I was married 15 years and got screwed over because my lawyer was bought off. Money that I did not have my ex had access to.
2007-05-15 13:14:33 · answer #10 · answered by lynda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋