What if you forgive the person totally, but still cant trust them? Is it wrong to be a little suspicious? How can you tell if it is intuition warning you that they are lying to you or just the mistrust leftover from the last lie?
2007-05-15 12:56:30 · 10 answers · asked by naturalphase 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no specific time. That person will have to do whatever you need in order to build your trust in him/her again. If they want to please you, you'll know it. If they are continuing to lie to you, the truth will come out eventually.
Tell the person what you need from him/her in order to trust them again. In the meantime you'll just have to be patient. The butterflies will eventually go away.
2007-05-15 13:27:43 · answer #1 · answered by Lady J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The intuition is not wrong. It's a warning saying, they lied to me before, just because they feel bad doesn't mean they won't do it again. It's not wrong to be suspicious. That's just common sense. You can forgive a person without trusting them. It's happened to me. You still want to be friends, but just can't believe some of the things they said. It's not a problem. It might take me a month or two to a year, depending on how bad the lie was.
2007-05-15 20:06:05 · answer #2 · answered by eratomo9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be a bit different for each person, how long it will take before they can trust again. Sometimes a full trust will not come back. Hearts know what is best, so don't worry. It is not wrong to be suspicious, for that is the normal result of someone lying to you. Trust your intuition always.
2007-05-15 22:21:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone close to me lies to me it takes a very very very long time before I trust them again. I mean like almost forever and I suppose it would also depend on WHY they lied to me and about WHAT. I honestly don't feel like it's unreasonable to be suspicious after the initial lie and I general go with my intuition. If I am suspicious then there must be good reason for it. I am good at "reading" people.
2007-05-15 20:15:38 · answer #4 · answered by )0( Cricket Song 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only God can truly forgive. People can only hope that they can forget and liv with the mistake. Once burnt there will always be some concern over future actions and the period of time to forget depends on the person trying to forget. Trust your gut instinct when dealing with this person.
2007-05-15 20:08:40 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lies are like black holes I have heard, and it seems right. They are the cause of lots of misery.
Do you ever trust him again? You are going to mistrust him for a while anyway. He lies once, he'll lie again.
2007-05-15 20:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by sheila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it can take a while before this person can regain your trust. if it was a one time thing, it depends on how deceptive this one time thing was. If its continual, you would have to re-evaluate how important this person is to you and if its worth the heart-ache. Bottom line: this person needs to regain your trust and make an effort to know that he/she is truly sorry and that it will never happen again.
2007-05-15 20:20:23 · answer #7 · answered by samantha22482 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How bad was the lie and how important is honesty to you.
Have you ever lied to him? Do you rely on your intuition in all situations, and has it always worked?
If someone is dishonest in one area, then they are dishonest in others areas.
You are out of integrity if you are dishonest in a relationship.
2007-05-15 20:10:49 · answer #8 · answered by April First 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still can not trust this person ...it`s because you did NOT totally forgave them. Maybe you`ve granted your forgiveness too fast. Give it a bit of time it will get better.
2007-05-15 20:04:25 · answer #9 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once burned twice shy. Fool me once shame on you,fool me twice, shame on me. Hard to regain trust, even with forgivenss.
2007-05-15 20:11:06 · answer #10 · answered by M S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋