I fell in love with a guy who told me he was a single dad who's ex was a horrible mother and drug addict....come to find out he is a liar and is MARRIED....as if this isn't bad enough i just found out I am pregnant! I know married men NEVER leave their wives especially when they have children with them, but I just can't bring myself to have an abortion either, I have tried all week to talk myself into one for the sake of his wife and children. I called the abortion clinic to find out info and couldnt even bring myself to finish the conversation without crying and hanging up. What should I do? I am in a horrible situation and I know I only have myself to blame for believing his lies but that doesn't help me now.....
2007-05-15 12:52:52 · 24 answers · asked by kricket 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're in a tough spot, sweetie. If you can't have an abortion, you can give the baby up for adoption. Check into a private adoption if you want, sometimes they will pay your medical bills while you're pregnant (in case you don't have insurance). Find an attorney that does private adoptions and see what can be done. I don't know how far along you are, but you do have until 12 weeks to decide about an abortion. I'm not saying to do that, it's totally your decision. Think it through and talk to someone you trust about this. Good luck.
2007-05-15 12:58:39 · answer #1 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That's a sad story and that just goes to show that in situations like this, women often get the blame as home wrecking whores when it was the men that were lying and manipulating the women's emotional vulnerability. I say get an abortion because you don't want to have a kid by someone that would lie so big like that. This is the type of man that will pull a disappearing act when troubles come because truth be told, men usually ditch their side women for new ones when the relationship becomes to bothersome for him. Honestly, having this kid is really a sure fire way to get him to dump you not keep you but why would you want a loser like this anyway? Have an abortion because you don't want to bring a kid in this world with either an absent or half-of father when you don't have too. If you bring the kid in the world, it would be only because you want something to love and to keep a part of him which is understandable since you love him but selfish to yourself and to your unborn kid. Who cares about his wife and kids, you shouldn't because they could care less about you. You should do whats best for you and that is have an abortion, go on with your life with out him and wait for a real man that will be good to you and dedicated only to you. You should also get over all that crying and emotional stuff and just handle your business so that you won't ruin your life and your kids life being some two timing man's side baby mama. Just having the kid and never seeing him again is dumb because then you would have to take care of a baby by yourself and your kid will be deprived a father. If the kid was already here then you wouldn't have a choice but why set yourself up to struggle when you can have better? Abortions are not that bad or painful and only takes a day if your under 5 months. Look at it like this, you have millions more eggs and opportunities in life to have a baby within a strong, stable relationship so don't act like this is the only fetus you can produce in life. Trust me.
2007-05-18 21:13:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first things first... go to a doctor and get urself and the baby checked out.... and please dont go through with an abortion.... if there is no possible way that u can take care of this child... then u need to consider other options... adoption... being the main one..... and as far as ur relationship with this guy goes... u have 2 options.... keep the baby and make him pay u child support... u may have to have a DNA test done... but in the end his wife will know what a sleaze ball he is..... or stay away from the guy... totally!!! that means dont fight him for child support... let him live his life... and u live urs... and make the best of the situation that u r in.... remember... a child is a blessing no matter what the circumstances r..... yes u made a mistake... but u will have a beautiful baby to remind u that life goes on and everytime that baby smiles at u... u remember that is what life is all about... good luck to u ♥
2007-05-15 13:00:56 · answer #3 · answered by want a princess baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all..I totally believe you since I have come across some doosies and had my heart tore in two...been there done that girlfriend. I would let him know that you are pregnant and if you feel that way "crying" do not get an abortion. Let that be "your " decision. Do not let other's influence you. But if he lied which he did, be angry at him but do not trap him because it is senseless, because he can NEVER be trusted...and he is and never will be yours. When your baby comes everything will be okay, just work and save as much money as you can. You know /are you to blame?? but he really lied...and let me tell you "they can be good /so convincing."You won't be the first or the last..but go on with your life and LEAVE this guy behind even though he hurt you...let your life go on without him.
2007-05-15 13:39:02 · answer #4 · answered by AlphaFeGreatWhite 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Abortion will tear you apart for all your days, so don't go there.
Here is a thought. Have the baby and love and care for yourself and the baby, and let a couple adopt the child who really need a child in their family. There can be some good to come out of all this, and you will also learn some life lessons and be the wiser for it.
2007-05-15 15:29:18 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You play with fire you get burned, you never know if his wife finds out then she may put him out, I know thats the one thing that would end my relationship. Im sure you are not his first mistress. I dont believe in abortion either, now is the time for you to be strong for you and your child. You should prepare yourself to be a single parent. Try to stay stress free throughout your pregnacy. Thats really sad for everyone in this situation especially the children. You need to learn to read the signs if a man cant give you all of him then there is someone in the shadows and he really degrades his ex then nine out of ten he is either still in love with her or still with her.
2007-05-15 13:51:03 · answer #6 · answered by jwilliamsinvestments 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously nobody can tell you what to do with you body or the life you are carrying, that is a decision you have to live with. However, if you can't call and finish the conversation with the clinic how do you expect to go through with it?
You need to tell him that you are pregnant and he is going to be involved with the baby and is going to pay child support.
His wife is going to ave to know, that's not really your concern though, that their's? He made the decision, now make him live up to the consequences!
2007-05-15 12:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by tom_gpp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not the baby's fault. Just because you got pregnant so what. Lots of women raise babys just fine. Don't talk to him anymore it's not really that big of a deal. Always love the baby if you need help after it's born get child support. Calm down everything always seems 10 times bigger at the moment.
2007-05-15 13:00:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes have the baby,don't abort.But,when you do see him again make it in court.File for child support and have them make him pay.Do yourself a favor and do not,i repeat,DO NOT listen to anything he has to say,because it will be all lies.Even though you've thought about an abortion,he'll probably try to tell you to get one,or say he loves you and there is no need to let his wife know.If you don't want to confront his wife,let the child support order do the talking when they receive them in the mail.
2007-05-15 13:19:08 · answer #9 · answered by Willnotlietoyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, what have you gotten yourself into?? Here is what I think you should do. Have the baby and find a father for her/him. Get child support from the biological father and go on about your life. It is not easy being a single mother, believe me I have been through it but you will find out how strong you really are. Good Luck, Daisy
2007-05-15 13:04:02 · answer #10 · answered by daisydownsouth 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋