Okay so I found out today that my girlfiend (divorced and has one son) was questioned by her son. He wanted to know what she would think if his dad were to introduce his new GF to him. He turned the offer down but it still really hurt her. Her ex husband never even asked her if it would be okay. She felt that her ex should have addressed her about the situation first. She's also upset because this new girl is someone completely unlike her. She always thought that since she was the one the left him she would be the one doing this first. From what I grasp they've been seperated for at least 2 years. I really dont know what to tell her. I can say the logical. Even though it wasn't good I don't think her ex husband did it to be sneaky or hurtful. They still have a good relationship. I dont want to say that the whole gf thing was going to happen someday. I just want to be there for her. Any advice? I know this isn't too uncommon.
2007-05-15 12:07:57 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
what's wrong with being logical. Acknowlege the hurt, it still hurts no matter what, a failed relationship, but her son and his relationship with his Dad is Waaaaaaaaaaaaay more important than anything else and the fact that the Dad is treating his son with respect is ultimately the BEST THING....her son's Dad cares about his son's feelings, and that is where the Dad's priorities should be. Her feelings really shouldn't matter, and she has the potential here to sabatoge something special between son and Dad. No matter what happens, NO ONE WILL REPLACE MOM. You need to reassure her of that. No one, especially for a boy, will replace Mom....even if she's young, cool, hip, it doesn't matter, Mom will always be numero uno. She should encourage her son to be open hearted and open minded, closing himself off and shutting out Dad is not a good idea. Set your girl straight, because ultimately, doesn't she want what is best for her child?
2007-05-15 12:15:23 · answer #1 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately there's nothing you can say that will make her feel better right away. Just let her know that it's not the end of the world and she will find someone soon. Also, when it comes to her ex introducing their son to the new person in their lives I really don't think that it's any of her business. She lost that right when she left him. As long as her son isn't in danger she needs to stay out of it. Just tell her to stay focused on her life and her son and eventually the pain will subside.
2007-05-15 19:25:58 · answer #2 · answered by #1 Lucy Fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon how old the son is. If he is old enough for his dad to ask him about it and make a decision then it should be his choice.
Two years is a long time. Your girlfriend should know this would come someday. I can see her being kind of upset if it was two weeks after they divorced but two YEARS. Come on already.
If I were you, I would stay out of it. She won't appreciate your input.
2007-05-15 19:18:27 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend needs to get over it. She has already moved on to you and you know her son. She must know that her ex would someday find some one. She sounds shallow and self serving.
2007-05-15 19:34:09 · answer #4 · answered by Ell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad so sad. Did she really think he would never move on? Or want someone like her after she, probably, caused him lots of pain?
2007-05-15 19:12:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So it is okay for her to be with you, but her ex isnt suppose to be with anyone? Wow, sounds to me like she isnt over him.
2007-05-15 19:36:55 · answer #6 · answered by EllD75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your girlfriend needs to grow up.......her ex doesn't have to ask her to have his girlfriend around his son...........
2007-05-15 19:13:06 · answer #7 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋