rate my poem?

Question

Built for two...


This world was clearly built for two,
Half for me,
And half for you,
But don’t go feeling all alone when you’ve got me as a home.
In summers we’ll wander through valleys unknown,
And dress in white lilies and sit on a throne;
That you’ll make out of sticks and bracken and hay,
Cause you insist I deserve to be queen for a day.
We’ll dance in the daisies and prance in the poppies,
Bathe in the stream and live life like a dream.
When winter comes we’ll hide away,
And live in a cabin built from wood and clay,
As we realise how we ended up here today,
In this big, wide world meant for two,
It’s a miracle you’ve found me,
And I found you.

Answer 1

A big 10/10
heartfelt
SDky

Answer 2

This world was clearly built for two,
Half for me,
And half for you,
But don’t go feeling all alone when you’ve got me as a home.
In summers we’ll wander through valleys unknown,
And dress in white lilies and sit on a throne;
That you’ll make out of sticks and bracken and hay,
Cause you insist I deserve to be queen for a day.
We’ll dance in the daisies and prance in the poppies,
Bathe in the stream and live life like a dream.
When winter comes we’ll hide away,
And live in a cabin built from wood and clay,
As we realise how we ended up here today,
In this big, wide world meant for two,
It’s a miracle you’ve found me,
And I found you.



Very beautiful. Buk is an idiot. I give you a 1,000,000,000,000 Heartwarming.

Answer 3

oh god vomit. like really.
is this prose or verse I see the metaphor wait no I don't, there are just visuals and no form, I guess it's good, but no shakespeare, your concept is good and you have a poet heart but you haven't put it in context,
here is some of my own

this is my first sonnet ever.
Sonnet 1

What makes a flower grow from this sunshine?
Flowing freshly as the hot summer stream.
Breathe on my neck and I feel like you're mine
Water flows down turning hot into steam
Winter snowflakes delicate on my cheek
Uneventful patchwork of an old quilt
I hear your voice before I hear you speak
Thoughts of our dreams have clouded the guilt.
Quatraines turning soft, whispers in my ear
My sword has stabbed you and I feel you bleed
Your breath runs low in your eyes lye a tear
But this love amongst us is all I need
But I have sworn thou face is as soft as the life
That lives inside this uncuddled wife

there is form, and metaphor what is the blood? what is the quilt? Is it a conversation or is it life being woven together? I also find a distance of form meaning do not stick to the rules breaking the rules makes a statement.
a heartbeat lies underneath each line really telling the reader or speaker the state of mind of the author at the time, also the end does not some it up but leaves a question, here is one more. I obviously wrote this one ten later.

Sonnet 10

Lost in the flight of ocean to ocean.
Being more than just suppressed urges,
And I find my self lying in your arms
Waiting to feel the sweet lust that purges.
Lost in the flight of ocean to ocean.
Seemingly normal life raises questions
Without answers. Soft looks bring me your charms.
Feeling right and wrong alive in actions.
Lost in the flight of ocean to ocean.
New sun rising new day brings a new me
To find the new you waiting willingly.
Living to deny and create noth be.
Lost in the flight of ocean to ocean
Looking for your face so I can begin.

This is an argument and many poets and great poetry has a great argument. Repetition is obvious, there is also a struggle and a reconciliation, read other poets find what you like steal from them and make it your own good luck.

Answer 4

100

Answer 5

It's really good, especially the beginning. But in the middle the beat got thrown off a little, and the last few lines didn't really flow. But if you just tweak it a tiny bit, I think it will be perfect. Nice job! : )

9 out of 10

Answer 6

Awwww...that's soo sweet. Definitely 10 out of 10.

Answer 7

Very nice took though

Answer 8

I give your poem a 10. That means you did magnificent!

Answer 9

9.8 out of 10

Answer 10

Cute, I must say. I really enjoyed it. Keep it up, girl. Peace!