When you can’t find a place to fit in,
Look within and fit in your skin.
When you are all alone,
Hold your head high and walk into the unknown.
When you are being mistreated,
Look within and do not let yourself be defeated.
When you find yourself without a comforting embrace,
Stare challenges in the face.
When no one believes in you,
Look within and make it through.
When you will not forgive,
Remember it is your choice how to live.
When you find someone who loves you,
Look within and discover if it is true.
And when you find that they are worthwhile,
Look within at what you have become and smile.
2007-05-15 10:13:46 · 21 answers · asked by ~S~ is for Stephanie! 6 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
By the way, it's called "Look Within"
Sorry, I forgot to put that at the top!
2007-05-15 10:23:05 · update #1
sure why not
2007-05-15 10:16:11 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Your poem is fine because it is simple and inspiring.
If you are a serious contender you have to still refine and rewrite your piece. You know, the simplest poems are hardest to write involving complex thinking and sweating over many iterations. Another thing, nowadays, rhyme has become a passé.
Keep in mind the progression of your theme should be smooth and the idea mostly climaxing. Every line should be compelling to read on for the next one.
I am not much of a poet myself and trying still to rewrite my five hundred and odd poems published on the net.
BTW if you care I will whet the poem but again I feel a poem should be better left to the poet himself or herself since it is an unique idea and nothing is wrong with one's original mind.
Outside the critique’s room, I enjoyed your write that is sure to inspire others including yourself; the aim of the poem being, to live toward a happy and harmonious life looking within.
2007-05-17 00:37:36 · answer #2 · answered by seshu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's a really good one! It's a great encouragement to people today and I believe it's a much-needed message. There are so many people out there that let things get to them. They become depressed and feel like there is no hope. There IS hope... they just have to try and find it. That's exactly what your poem inspires them to do. You know how the phrase goes: "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." :) Thanks for that great message!
2007-05-15 17:24:52 · answer #3 · answered by jenn w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the look within message is good, this poem makes me feel that the person is feeling he/she is against the world and has to look within to find the answer, thats a beautiful message.
2007-05-15 17:18:49 · answer #4 · answered by it's National Security 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No... sorry, but the rhyming thing is too much and it sounds like a pre-schooler wrote it. Just being honest.
2007-05-15 17:17:09 · answer #5 · answered by Drama Queen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A+
2007-05-15 17:26:29 · answer #6 · answered by Matt G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like your rhyming couplet form.
This is a very uplifting poem, what inspired you to write it?
Great work.
2007-05-15 17:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by jasmine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. I think the last stanza changes the topic a little though.
2007-05-15 17:17:18 · answer #8 · answered by lehighbri 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's awesome. I like it. IT's very inspiritaional...wish it could be put to a song and put on mtv or something to reach all the people out there. but truly, i really enjoyed it. thanks for that message.
2007-05-17 01:27:32 · answer #9 · answered by water lily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I most certainly do. Very nice. More than anything, I know what it means. I live it.......everyday. Thank you.
2007-05-15 17:24:40 · answer #10 · answered by pucdrgn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your a good writer, but we are not to look within, we should look up for strength from God.
2007-05-17 00:41:57 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋