I was watchin Oprah show and they were talking about "The Secret". Fantastic show, love it. Just one thing - there was this couple that had a trouble in their marriage and then the woman after watching about "The secret" changed her attitude and started to be grateful for the man she has - snap and all good. I felt confused because I don't understand how would it happen suddenly. All my friends tell me to let go of my marriage and I know I can't force myself to "want" my husband. My dilemma is - when is it time to let go and when is it to hold on and wait for a miracle to happen?
2007-05-15 10:04:15 · 12 answers · asked by Alyssa Macey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Miracles happen in movies.
Real life happens whether we are ready or not - all we can do is chose whether we allow ourselves to "hope" things will get better out of the blue or decide to do what we need to make them better.
2007-05-15 10:08:40 · answer #1 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do the following: 1. For the next few days, limit all conversation to you answering his questions in one-line replies. Just ignore him otherwise. 2. Get really busy and not stay around him at all. Gym, girfriends, mall, whatever. 3. Learn how to score points with a man. We are simple creatures, we don't need intricate emotional caressing. 4 things work best: look sexy smocking hot every time he sees you, find some fun activity that you can truly enjoy together, provide great sex and often compliment him without expecting anything in return. Never expect or demand any emotional support. If you need it, this is what girlfriends are for, we are not wired to even remotely comprehend that stuff and dealing with it set off all kinds of alarms. 4. Then you need to "train" him to give you what you need. You seem to have a lot of insecurities, he needs to find a way to put them to rest.
2016-03-19 05:43:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is as complex as you want it to be.
Even though the beginning seems complex, the beginning of the beginning is simple. Find the simple beginning. the greatest arises from the simplest. At the center of the largest is the smallest. Find the greatness of simple.
Be careful of pretense and adornment. When seeking the important, keep to the simple. Great is never complicated. Trust the simple. Accord and harmony arise from it. Greatest is always found in least.
Come closer to the common mystery. Attend to the ordinary. There is nothing else to find. All the travelling of thought returns to the beginning and recognizes the obvious. It is wisdom that sees the ordinary with amazement.
If it is as simple as man and woman meeting each other, why is it so difficult? Such struggle! Such yearning and searching, scheming and wrangling, insisting and beseeching! such contortions! Something gets in the way and the simple becomes complex.
Finding is recognizing, not making. Wishing and desiring and hoping, even loneliness, are best forgotten for they muddy mindwater.
2007-05-15 10:13:50 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people are never grateful for what they have. Some people wake up one day and just realize how special it all is and how they have made their lives harder than they needed to be, and some people, I suppose, just watch a TV show and have that epiphany.
Maybe you need to spend a good, long time alone before you can appreciate togetherness? Maybe you need to experience some real pain, betrayal, etc befure you have real empathy. I don't know you. So I don't know what you need, but you are way too focused on blaming your husband for all of your problems.
2007-05-15 10:38:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well it didn't just change over night. The woman obviously changed her outlook on her marriage and realized what a good husband she had. I definitely do not believe that something can be changed just by watching some segment on a so-called secret. It might be a quick fix but will not be permanent. Marriages are work. And if you no longer "want" you husband then you just need to move on.
2007-05-15 10:09:34 · answer #5 · answered by #1 Lucy Fan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think what this woman probably started to do was stop looking at all the things she didn't like about her husband and started focusing on all his good characteristics and that changed her attitude about him and humbled her enough to repair their marriage...nothing is ever "snap and all fixed" marriage is a commitment through good time and bad and it is hard work...you have to decide everyday to chose your spouse and your marriage and to make it work...
2007-05-15 10:09:58 · answer #6 · answered by juda75 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this kind of thing happens to people all the time!
The problem with just "letting go" of your husband is you haven't fixed the problem. If you just let him go, the problem is just that you "fell out of love." Great... what's to keep that from happening with the next guy? And the next guy? This leads to divorce after divorce after divorce. If that's the only reason to get/stay married, then don't! Find the reason to stay married, and stick to it.
2007-05-15 10:54:09 · answer #7 · answered by Sean J 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The " Secret " is not a miracle. It is a state of conscious and unconscious thought. Doubt results in failures and I see you doubt, therefore the " Secret" will only give you doubt.
2007-05-15 10:10:05 · answer #8 · answered by Ray2play 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There arent any miracles. Dont waste you life waiting on one.
2007-05-15 10:09:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you don't leave a marriage that you vowed to be in 'till death do you part, in sickness and in health, for better for worse; until you have put 110 percent of your effort into making it work.....counseling...mediation, I mean until you have tried everything you can think of, plus two more.........
2007-05-15 10:08:41 · answer #10 · answered by abc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋