If he is drunk, with his family, and not suspected of cheating. But is it fair?
2007-05-15 09:47:32 · 42 answers · asked by Valentina P 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, if he is drunk, then it would be dangerous for him to drive home. I wouldnt like it if my husband was doing it on a regular basis....I would much prefer to have him home with me. If he is preferrring to be with his family than with you, then I think its totally unfair. Maybe go with him next time...include yourself in his "fun". You are his wife and your feelings need to be considered too. If it happens once in a blue moon, then I wouldnt worry about it so much. If it happens regularly then there is a problem....and it needs sorting out.
2007-05-15 10:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am guessing that you have no problem with him being with his family and not suspected of cheating, so let's look at the other two variables:
1. He's drunk: As long as the other person is not blowing a ton of money, is not endangering themselves or anyone else, and can function the next day, it's not an issue.
2.. Staying out late: My wife and her best friend are in a bell choir, and they go out after practice to get something to eat, something to drink, chat, etc. She probably does this once every two weeks, give or take. I have no problem with it whatsoever. I think its good that she has that outlet, and that she gets a perspective from her friend that I can't give. Now, if she did that every night, I'd have a problem. So the question becomes, "What is the magic number?" That's up to the husband and wife to resolve.
2007-05-15 10:14:38 · answer #2 · answered by Pythagoras 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on how late and how often this happens. If it's more than 1 a week that's too often and if it's after 2 am that's too late. My husband goes out with his friends drinking and doing stupid "man" stuff but he's home, drunk, in bed by 2 am if he goes to a club - which he never does anymore or before 2 if he's gone to the local bar. I'm fine with that as it only happens about 1 per month. He recently went to Florida to party for what was to be a weekend and stayed until Tuesday, I wasn't okay with that-and told him so. So it just depends on what's okay with you. Since you are asking I assume you aren't too happy about your husband doing this.
2007-05-15 09:57:46 · answer #3 · answered by Brandy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that both parties in a marriage should be allowed to stay out late, depending on where they're going and who they're with. I think it's fair for him to hang out with family but my question is, why aren't you with him? Not that you always need to be with him but is it that you're not with him that makes it unfair or is it that you aren't given equal amounts of time to be hanging out? I'm positive there's more to this situation which makes it hard to answer so you'll need to consider the questions I've posed as well. I'm sorry this is an issue but at least he's not cheating and this seems like it can be easily resolved. Good luck!
2007-05-15 09:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by da6dark6angel6 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is not fair. It is disrespectful of you. Why don't you do it to him? Call home one night and tell him you will be a little late, then come in drunk at 3:00 a.m. The next day you can ask him how he liked it. Tell him what is good for the goose is good for the gander, and that he better consider this the next time he wants to leave you at home alone.
2007-05-15 10:15:01 · answer #5 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all gotta cut loose ever now and again. I don't think this is a problem as long as it's not done on a regular basis. My opinion. Maybe twice a year, I'll get a little pie-eyed. At least he's not beatin' ya when he gets drunk. I hope he's a 'happy drunk'. With his family and not cheating? I think your doin ok. Is it fair? Did you ask to go with him to start with? Maybe next time it'll be your turn to drink and his to drive.
Bear
2007-05-15 09:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by Major_Mtn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if he told you that you could not go out and stay out late? Just because you are married does not mean you have to be together at all times and cannot go have fun. If you trust him, why not? I just know I would never let my husband tell me I could not go out so I would never tell him that either.
It is always good to have a boys night or a girls night separate from each other. It's good for the relationship.
2007-05-15 10:02:14 · answer #7 · answered by j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once is a while I think it's fine for either partner to go out with friends or family and have a good time. But all the time may indicate some issues in the relationship.
2007-05-15 09:56:05 · answer #8 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Valentina, if you're referring to your own husband and you need to ask this quesion, it's obvious that you don't think it's fair. A relationship between two people is different things to everyone. If you feel it's unfair then you must communicate this to your husband and try to resolve it. State your reasons, listen to his side and then both of you work out a solution. It's called compromising and it's the biggest componant of a successful marriage. Good luck.
2007-05-15 09:58:36 · answer #9 · answered by Jim A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not fair if you are not there
so if you don like what your husband is doing I subjects you to talk to your hubby and tell him what is bothering you. or girl go with him and get involve so you don't feel left out or anything like that. You do not need to drink if you don't want to just be there for support.
I will tell you in my opinion I don't think it would be fair if my husband would go out and drink with or without his family and stay out late with out me it depends you know
I would actually accept but not all the times you know cause he do needs to pay attention to me and the kids.
Girl talk to your husband and remember it is very important to have a great communication when you are involve in a relationship
2007-05-15 09:59:22 · answer #10 · answered by mary o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋