My wife come over my house, and expects me to be their on a moments notice now. I left after a REALLY BIG ARGUMENT and need time to work everything out before I go back.
But I got to say I feels good to be on my own and not jump through wife hoops.
She keeps asking me when will I come home, that she need me and wants to work everything out.
I'm not sure why but I don't think I want to come home to her ever!
She finally admitted to having and emotional affair with this other man she chatting with. She said it's so hard at the house with kids it only started as a moment or 2 to laugh with him and it moved on to other things!
I told her that this is what he was looking for to begin with, and a month ago she stopped everything with him until he showed up at my door when he thought I wasn't there!
I beat the hell out of him went to hospital, I told wife I wasted 16 years with her, and I was finished with the LIES.
2007-05-15 09:18:42 · 7 answers · asked by Free-Lance 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He went back to Kansas and I moved out and am giving her almost half of my wages to support our kids!
I told her the 2 nieces, and one nephew was going to have to find another family to live with because the terms of custody were we would both be their for them. She says they leave when shes in the ground, and only then!
I'm angry at her for not informing me of truth , up front with this man and she keeps asking me to come home but I told her I on phone today I would rather deal with the business end of a COBRA, then come home to her!
Now shes playing guilt trip on me with our kids 5 total, some who are asking us are we getting a divorce. I don't know what to say to them, because I think I might want one and not deal with this matter anymore at this anger level!
She want to continue therapy because she says it opening this up that should have been open in the first place!
I told her my trust in her is shot, and I feel NUMB!
What to do, and why am I hurting like this?
2007-05-15 09:18:52 · update #1
I would think that you are hurting like this because you have been betrayed by someone you thought you could trust!I don't blame you for beating the dude up, since he knew he was interfering in a marriage! I really don't know what you should do. Only you know how you feel under all your (justified) anger and hurt. It certainly sounds as if you have been through the wringer, and deserve a much better life. However, you are still deeply hurt, and are probably not thinking too straight at the moment. I agree that you should not allow your wife to use the children to manipulate you, and stay away from her until you have calmed down a bit, and are able to think a bit more clearly. Once your head is straight, decide what you want to do, and if it is divorce, simply tell your wife that you feel you will never be able to trust her again, and would rather live without her. Explain to your children that although you and your wife no longer love each other, you will always love them, and be there for them. If you decide to go back to your wife, the two of you should go to counseling to try and ensure this doesn't happen again. I am sorry you were betrayed in this way, and wish you the best, whatever you decide.
2007-05-15 10:01:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are hurting like this because you were betrayed, man, betrayed in the worst way by the one person in the world who should not have done it. We see a lot of vapid whining in this column about bored women who are considering having an affair, and this is the result. Broken homes. Broken hearts. Broken children. You did the right thing by smashing that dude. Now do the right thing by staying away from her. Keep your head up. Divorce her. Things will get better for you eventually, and you will find a woman who will value you and stand by you like you deserve to have. The best of luck to you, man. You will be in my thoughts.
2007-05-15 09:29:12 · answer #2 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow... Crazy story, sorry you had to go through all that. Honestly what I would do is go talk to a counselor by yourself (Doesn't have to be a doctor, could be a trusted friend...) and just see if they offer up some helpful outside oppinions. THEN, if you decide to fix the relationship go to counseling together. Or at least work out some healthy situation for your children. I hope everything works out o.k.
2007-05-15 09:24:00 · answer #3 · answered by love_n_hate84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a story. After reading your question it sounds like you are really done. As far as your children, you must be there for them. If you do decide to end it they will be upset. Also don't let her manipulate you wit the kids. You must really think things through. 16 years is a long time to be with your wife. It will hurt you even if you are done with her. In time you will heal. I would just concentrate on your kids.
I hope this helps.
2007-05-15 09:32:46 · answer #4 · answered by osoblonde 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your whole situation and of course, for your kids but I think you need to end your nightmare by staying away from your wife. It is sad that she didn't put her efforts toward you instead of someone else and now she has messed with so many lives. I agree too that you need to sit down with a therapist....just for you. It will take some time for you to get a grip on all this. Good luck to you.
2007-05-15 09:53:21 · answer #5 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have issues! Maybe you should just leave and never go back!
2007-05-15 09:26:49 · answer #6 · answered by Barticus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why make yourself suffer..?
Just be happy and do what you feel will make you happy...
2007-05-15 09:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by Unbreakable Me 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋