What do I do with my non-working hubby?

Question

I just turned 36and I am married and have 6 children (mine, his, and ours) We have had our share of hard times and we have always seemed to make it, and I love him dearly, but all of a sudden I am ready to kick his but!He is a good man,who loves his kids and adores me,he does not drink,party,cheat, beat me or the kids, BUT he was very spoiled as a child and his mom has made the statement that he should be able to fish and hunt all he wants to!BS, I hold down a 40hr week job and then come home on the weekends to work 40 more.he has no gumption,no goals,and is content to just scrape by.He is happiest when he is in a boat or the woods. We will be married 7 yrs the 20th of May, am I just haveing the seven year itch or what?

Answer 1

I think it all depends on how much money you have. If you're BARELY making it and don't have toilet paper, then I can see a problem. If you're just resentful because you're the only one working, then I think you just need to work through those feelings.

My husband doesn't work outside the home. He cares for our son. He's twenty years older than me and has worked hard all his life. I'm willing to give up some things so that he can have a break.

Answer 2

I hope that you didn't marry him while he wasn't working. I hope a least he had a part-time job, and now he's just in between jobs right now. If he has always been like that then you are just like his mother, you spoil him the same. You may not think that he should be on a boat or anything, but you think he should have a free life. Now that your getting older you are wanting more out of the relationship, because y'all have so many children and now you need some fun time, and you need to be treated and your husband can't do it because he is broke...Y don't you talk to him about helping with the finance because you both have nine children between each other and it's hard just with 1 income. If he can't agree on helping by May 20th, 2008, then file for divorce, because loving the kids, and you don't pay the bills.

Answer 3

Hell no you aren't having the seven year itch. Tell him to get his lazy a.ss up, put down the fishing rod and the riffle and go get a job! My husband loves to fish and hunt and boat too, but he knows he has to work to support us. I don't want to just "get by" I want to live and that takes us BOTH to work. My husband loves the outdoors so much he's considering getting a job as a Park Ranger. I don't care if he works as a Power Ranger as long as he has a job! Honey you need to put your foot down and tell him to step it up. Stop working on the weekends, right now. If you guys have to struggle then struggle alone. You can do bad by yourself. S.hit if you are holding things down with him, you can hold it down without him. Being married is supposed to be TWO people working for the good of the team. If his momma has the idea that he can play all he wants then tell him to move his a.ss back over there and let her take care of him. Good luck with that.

Answer 4

I think you need to discuss this problem with your husband (and maybe even his mommy). He has a family to help support and he needs to be doing so. If he isn't willing to do so, then maybe he needs a wake up call. By that I mean that you need to show him what you do to keep your marriage running and the household working smoothly. He either needs to help out in some respect or you have to take drastic measures. Sometimes threatening to leave (and meaning it) or leaving is the most effective thing to get a man to understand that things do not always work the exact way they want them to, particularly if they are spoiled by their mommies. When he married you, he stopped having a "mommy" and so he needs to start acting like the adult he should be. Good luck to you on this and don't ever say anything that you aren't willing to follow through on.

Answer 5

Kick his a-- to the curb. Not beating or cheating are admirable qualities. But, that is a given in any marriage (or should be in any good marriage) There is more to being married then "not cheating or beating" on his spouse. He has to help in the support of his family! This is a no brainer. We ALL would love to sit on our butts all day or go fishing or what ever our passion is...but it isn't realistic, and he should be ashamed of himself. Sitting in the boat or the woods all day aren't going to pay the bills and put food in your childrens bellies!

Good Luck...you need it!

Answer 6

It's time to have a chat with your irresponsible and might I add selfish husband. With 6 kids in tow he should be pulling his weight. He's not a child any longer and he doesn't get the leisure of lying around while others do the work. If he doesn't want to step up and be a man, maybe you need to kick his butt into the woods for good.

Answer 7

Definitely not an itch darlin'. I was with my last ex for 20 years, 12 of them married and i tried every which way but loose to change him from that lackadazical style to which he was accustomed. he had and probably still doesn't have any goals in life. Just satisfied to go wade fishing and drink his wine and live paycheck to paycheck....kick him to the curb and maybe he'll get the hint. Otherwise, you will go on like this for the rest of your life. You have to voice your opinion

Answer 8

I take it that hunting and fishing is not new to him. He probably did those things before you got married. Did you expect him to give them up entirely?

However, if you want to put your foot down, it's pretty simple. He needs bullets for the gun, bait for the fishing pole, and gas to get the car out into the woods. You have the paycheck. No more bullets, bait or gas until he gets a job.

Answer 9

What about him getting a job as a fishing or hunting guide? Then he is doing what he loves but is still contributing to the household income.

Answer 10

Maybe he should take courses in forestry and become a park ranger. Then he'll get paid to do those things.
He could work for the Wild Game & Fish department.