But he doesn't make my heart skip a beat. Because of my past a lot of people would not want to be with me. He doesn't care about my past because he was in a similar situation.
Without him I feel terrible. With him I just feel okay....I haven't felt happy for years...I feel like he has given me the keys out of a torture chamber...my life was the pits before I had him.
But I just don't have the excitement with him that I have had with others.
We can help each other. He wants me to marry him.
What should I do?
2007-05-15 08:43:36 · 28 answers · asked by Sally 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just tell him how you feel. Let him know that you don't know if it's the right thing at this time. Let him know that his companionship helps you tremendously, but you don't want to jump into a marriage so quickly. Over time, you may develop different feelings, but don't assume that it will. If you get married just because he makes you feel comfortable, then you're not in it for the right reasons. A marriage should be a situation where both people feel the same "love" to give themselves completely to the other person. Without this commitment, you don't need to jump to marriage.
2007-05-15 08:51:43 · answer #1 · answered by Alan F 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
After you've been married a while, the heart stops skipping beats anyway. Happiness and excitement aren't the same thing--in fact, from your description, excitement, for you, just led to torture. I say you should say yes. If without him you feel terrible, then being with him seems a very good idea.
2007-05-15 09:18:49 · answer #2 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that "just okay" is miles ahead of "the torture chamber".
That being said, you may buy yourself some time by using your past as an excuse. You could explain to him that while you care about him and may consider marriage someday, right now you still have too much baggage to consider marriage at this moment. This may not be too far from the truth.
However, that being said, if this gentlemen has been good enough to bring you out of your despair, he deserves better than to be strung along for years. Maybe you can buy yourself a little time, but make a decision relatively soon.
2007-05-15 08:50:57 · answer #3 · answered by Pythagoras 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like in the past you have looked for excitement rather than a solid all around relationship. Being addicted to excitement is likely what gave you the past that you aren't too pleased with. One can easily find a firecracker anywhere... but the long slow burn... that takes skill and committment.
Why don't you each commit to each other for a period of time....say one year... then re-evaluate then. During this time forsake all others and make an honest effort of it.
2007-05-15 08:49:27 · answer #4 · answered by Brent S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see that attire. I see a wonderful, talented, funny man. I love ya just the way you are, ((((((((((Jack)))))))))). No religion, no disease can change that. And, to be honest, I don't give a rat's asss what any religion has to say about HIV - or homosexuality. So, I can't really say how it's been influenced by it. Overall, religion continues to be popular in a day and age when humanity should be past such archaic thinking because people love to have an excuse to judge others - at least, this applies to the Abrahamic religions. And, I say "screw 'em".
2016-05-19 01:40:05 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say this man doesn't give you the excitement that you've had with the other men; well, where are all those men ? Get my point. Now here is someone who is different than the others, accepts you as you are, doesn't care about your past, and has pulled you out of the pits. I'd say he is more true to you than all the others combined. The love that comes with a bang doesn't always work. Love comes softly ,,,,,,,,,,
2007-05-15 08:58:10 · answer #6 · answered by Tweety 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he may not make your heart skip a beat and you may not have the excitement with him because you have built a wall to avoid getting hurt, especially because you do like him or love him. If you do love him and close your eyes and see happiness in your future with this man, go for it. Eventually the wall will come down and the excitement will happen and then your heart will skip a beat. If you don't love him and chances are you are probably at this point to scared to do so, remain friends at this point let him continue to knock down the wall and let nature take its course. Good luck
2007-05-15 08:49:34 · answer #7 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, Sally, that is a hard one. Perhaps at 45 years of age our hearts are not supposed to any longer "skip a beat." Are you still looking for a life of love and excitement? Or have you had enough of that, and will now settle for comfort and a sense of security. Only you can answer the question you have presented for us, but I would remind you of your age and your prospects. Maybe this guy is the best thing that is going to happen for you. I think you should consider that carefully.
2007-05-15 08:50:42 · answer #8 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have the happiness you have finally wanted and deserve girl go for what you want. You will know the answer in your heart and sometimes things will work out for the best if there will be no relationship. Then he sounds like he would be a great friend to have around and get you over the hurt you have experienced.
2007-05-15 10:49:59 · answer #9 · answered by aspoiled2003 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just be friends then!
You will cheat if you marry him!
Women in your age range start to feel like , times running out and will look for the excitement because how many years will you have to have sex?
Sorry for being blunt, but I seeing this first hand, and I can tell you I'm not sure were going to get through this in one.
2007-05-15 08:49:28 · answer #10 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋