Self esteem?

Question

How do you build your self esteem back up after going from a size 9 to a size 18 ( had a 8lb baby) and the weight not coming off? I feel down all the time, because my husband is really thin, and I am huge, And all his x's are extrememly thin as well. I know I just had a baby, like 9 months ago, but I am the biggest I have ever been. And I don't know how to stop feeling tired all the time. What can I do? I think its affecting my marrage , I am always on him about other women, but I think its because i'm not happy with the way I look? What can I do?

Answer 1

First, realize that your self worth works from the inside out. Having a baby is an amazing blessing and I'm sure your proud of that. Now, as far as the way you feel, it is very common for these feelings to be present. They will not go away over night. You must realize that it does take time and effort to slim down to an acceptable size for yourself. I'm just glad you are not starving yourself. As far as your situation, well there are several things you can do. The first thing is decide that you want to begin to loose the weight. Try to start walking at least 3 times a week if you can. You can go to any park and take the stroller with you if you have too. Begin to monitor your food intake. I am not talking about dieting, I'm talking about food choices. Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner but make sure your portions are reasonable. You should also begin to limit your snacks to yogurt or fruit, things that will help you. One other big way is to not eat after a certain time at night. 7:00 should be a good goal and you should start feeling better after a short while. As for your husband, well I'm sure he didn't just marry you because of your size, you had other things to offer. Don't forget to let those areas shine. You should even ask your husband to walk with you. Express to him how you feel and let him know that you need to feel his love and support even more now.

Answer 2

There are no easy answers. It will take your body a full two years to return to normal and even then your body may not ever look like it did before you had a child.
The good news is that this being tired and lack of energy won't last forever. Be nice to yourself just having a baby and now the demands and lack of sleep of taking care of an infant, is difficult. The good things is that the baby will start sleeping all night and you will get back more to yourself.
I suggest going to your Dr. to make sure you aren't anemic and that you are healthy. You may be suffering from post partum depression or just depression, it is more common than you think.
Lastly, there is no way to loose the weight but through a good, healthy diet and exercise. I know you think you are too tired but exercise will actually increase your energy after a while.
You can do it!

Answer 3

You will destroy your marriage if you keep this up. YOU will destroy it, not your weight, YOU! Take one step at a time. Make it a firm step, like "I will not drink a Coke with lunch today." Something like that. Take a small step at a time. Try it for at least a week. When you no longer have to think about it, take another step. Imagine yourself being happy with your husband, he has you not the other girl, you! Be appreciative, enjoy your baby. Walk a little every other day. Then increase it when you are ready. Read up on weight control. Use it as a guide only. Not everything will apply to you. Try again and again and again if you have to. Don't you think it's worth the effort? Good Luck

Answer 4

In the past 2 years I have lost 85 lbs. There is no magic pill. You have to start going to the gym and reducing your calorie intake and it is hard for a bit but if you stick to it and think about the end results and how much better you will feel it will be worth it. As you get used to excercising you will feel more energized too. Also working out helps us relieve tension so that will help also. I found a small gym that has daycare at certain times of the day and it is wonderful!

Answer 5

See if there is a gym near you. Have two or three nights a week where your husband watches the baby and you can get a break from the mom duties and work out. I'm sure your husband wouldn't mind.

I know how you feel. I put on more than enough weight after we got married last year and I can't get it off either.

Answer 6

If it's bothering you that much, you need to do what you can to begin to lose the weight. Start walking with your husband and stroll your baby together in the evenings. Even if the pounds don't melt off, you will feel better about yourself.

You probably are getting on to him about other women because you have gained weight. BE honest with your husband and tell him you're afraid he might see you as unattractive. If he loves you like I love my wife, he'll tell you that he is attracted to YOU not your physical apperance.

Stick in there and be patient. Having children is a challenge in many ways. Just remember beauty is fleeting and your relationship with your husband has to have a broader base than physical attraction.

Answer 7

Well, first you need to start exercising more. You started eating more when you were pregnant to compensate for eating for two, and your stomach has expanded since then. So you won't feel as full eating what you used to eat. You need to make sure to eat at least 1200 calories a day, no more than 2000, and make sure to exercise. Even walking for half an hour every day will help. The exercise will increase your metabolism and energy levels, and as you start losing weight, you'll start feeling better about yourself. Good luck.

Answer 8

Talk to your husband about your insecurities, then relax and get off your own case- you have just had a baby and start a sensible eating plan, go to the gym, for walks with your husband and new baby etc.

Answer 9

Weight, one of the most ANNOYING and COMMON problems many people face. Well try to get more slimmer and ask doctors or specialists about it (don't ask ordinary people or use weird harsh methods).

Second of all, don't really think about it and just "live". You ain't the only one who has the samething. Nevertheless, your husband may find you special from the other x's as they are all slim and you ain't. Anyway, good luck...

Answer 10

You know what, you just had a baby! The last thing he should be worried about is your weight! He should be worshipping the ground you walk on! And just give it time, the weight will come off!