My bf is scared senseless of sex. even if a condom is used he's still scared. He therefore insists that we do it over the phone. and my problem is I HATE IT. I hate lying there on my own trying to give myself sexual pleasure. And when i tell him, he says i should still do it. I've tried it several times and most of the time I fake it. I even hate the faking. when i complain, he gets so angry and brings up all sorts of horrid things from the past and he just doesn't stop. It's either his way or no way. What can I say to him that will make him sympathize with me a little. I truly HATE it.
2007-05-15 08:12:14 · 34 answers · asked by fanciful me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he has no Consideration for how you're feeling..it sounds like it's all about HIM* and what he wants , he gets*~ He will never sympathize with you, not even a lil*bit...Tis time you put your foot down and say NO* YOU will not do that* You've told him you hate it...and he needs to Respect that~ WHy put yourself through something that you really dont want to do?? To make him happy? What about making YOU happy and Not doing what you don't want to do. I think you need to sit down and weigh out the pros and cons of this relationship* Is HE what you want? You honestly can say to yourself, he's everything you've ever wanted???
COMMUNICATION HONESTY AND TRUST are keys to a long healthy relationship, without those you have nothing*~ I feel...perhaps you should definately re-evaluate your relationship and ask yourself when was the last time he did something to make YOU HAPPY*? when was the last time you laughed or smiled or even had FUN*? life's too short......LIVE LIFE to it's fullest*~and ENJOY LIFE.....don't let it slip you by with nothing but heartache, disappointment, no respect...
Keep on Smilin* Best wishes*
2007-05-15 08:19:34 · answer #1 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, you don't need to force a man to sympathize with you, you need to FIND a man who sympathizes with you. The no sex is no issue, the issue here is he doesn't really care that you hate doing it; not to mention he can't let go of the past and brings up things to get his way in the end. I bet this happens not only with the phone sex...
2007-05-15 08:17:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sit down and have a discussion.
let him know that if you wanted to satisfy yourself, you would need a boyfriend (if you could get a dildo, that works even better).
Sex is more than gratifying physical needs; there is an emotional and spiritual connection to consider as well.
Personally, you should consider ending the relationship. It sounds like neither of you are particularly happy within it
2007-05-15 08:36:09 · answer #3 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has sexual anorexia. It's a fear of intimacy to the point where the person (with the fear) gets anxiety when sexual intimacy arises. They will masturbate, watch porn, go to strip clubs even prostitutes, however, when it comes to having a relationship with sex they freak out! He should seek help because he may also have narcissistic traits that this stems from.
2007-05-15 08:22:16 · answer #4 · answered by KDW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it's "His way or no way" then I would do 1 of two things.
1. Explain that you're in this relationship too and you have a right to your own pleasueres as well as his. Explain that a compromise must be met if he wants to be your BF.
2. Don't waste your time with someone who isn't going to repsect you or your actions/ideas/thoughts/etc....If he's not willing to bend on this, just think of all the other things taht will come up that he wont compromise on.
2007-05-15 08:17:08 · answer #5 · answered by lauraking83 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he is just using the phone sex as an excuse not to have sex. Either he is having sex with someone else or he just does not want to have sex with you. You need to pay closer attention to him.. I do hot think there is anyone out there who believes in having pre- marital sex but would prefer to have phone sex b/c they are scared. come on, get real. Wake up sweet heart it is an excuse. he does not have to feel guilty b/c he is not cheating b/c he is not having sex with you. Men think it is not cheating b/c I did not have sex!!
2007-05-15 10:23:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to respect the fact that he dislikes something he should return the respect to you. You need to determine how important sex is to you in a relationship because it sounds like you're never gonna get it with this guy.
2007-05-15 08:18:51 · answer #7 · answered by Sunshine! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have talked to him about it, and he still doesn't care about your feelings, there isn't anything that you can really say to him that will make it better... turn him loose and find you a man that can give you sexual pleasure.
2007-05-15 08:15:33 · answer #8 · answered by emtb9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one should do anything they hate. He is not the one for you. I would suggest he take his phone and dial a 1-900 line because that's all he's using you for. Add up the bill and tell him it's over.
2007-05-15 08:17:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you hate phone sex and you don't appreciate him pressuring you into it and if he can't respect your right to say no without being a child than you will find someone who will respect you...
2007-05-15 08:22:26 · answer #10 · answered by juda75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋