Religious - Is it a sin for a unmarried Christian man (who can't have sex if he's not married) is it a sin for him to watch porn? My husband got married at 28 years old...I was kind of naive to think that he was pure, although he says he was a virgin, now I'm sure he couldn't, for health reasons, stay away from some kind of mast**** and thus, from porn. Now that I'm married I found out he's into porn by doing a simple search on his computer. I've tried talking to him but it doesnt help...he doesnt act sorry or anything like that, in fact he only gets very irritated. But my question remains what does God allow a man do to stay healthy if he can't have sex? B/c I know that porn is a huge sin and it really devastates me
2007-05-15 07:13:07 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
as his wife, it devastates me to think that I'm not enough for him. It gets me very angry too.
2007-05-15 07:14:45 · update #1
Yes to answer your question he lies to me A lot
2007-05-15 07:30:24 · update #2
There is nothing in the Bible to say pornography is a sin. It says not to lust after anyone other than your wife, but nothing about what single guys are allowed to do. And anyway porn isnt lusting after other girls, it is looking at the sex act and getting turned on by it. Its the same as having fantasies, it just increases our sex drive and makes sex with your wife/husband more interesting. God made us to have these urges, if he didnt, then the world would never be populated. If a person has these urges (which are natural) and they live by the Bible and not have intercourse until they are married, then what are they going to do with these urges? Especially in a boys teenage years....the hormones are running rampant, yet masturbation is considered a sin too? Its a wonder there are not more "crazy" Christians around because hanging onto so many urges and not being allowed to do anything with them must be terribly frustrating for anyone. The Bible is open to many interpretations and I think it is very dangerous to assume what a sin is, if its not printed in black and white. People interpret the Bible to be many things, and a lot of it, I believe. are just opinions of a particular religous leader. Chill a bit, know that sex and urges are all part of a healthy mind. Your husband is not lusting after the women he sees in the porn he watches....he is being stimulated by the act he is seeing...not the woman. If your not careful your ideas of what sin is may, just in fact, drive your husband away. God is nothing like Hitler, he is a loving God, an understanding God and all this stuff about sin is really giving Him a bad name. You know what happens to a dog that is not allowed to have sex......it goes mad....crazy and will bite the first person who comes near it. If your husband is being deprived and denied his sexual urges, then expect him to bite.
2007-05-15 07:42:30 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Tasia Tasia Tasia,
Your close minded Christian attitude towards porn/sex/masturbation virtually guarantees that you have no idea how to excite and please your husband - where do you get you ideas for sexual fantasy and role playing. Is there some kind of Christian women's group where you meet and talk about how best to keep things at attention in the bedroom - I bet it is totally of limits in your circle of friends for fear of being struck by lightning. If you keep serving plain vanilla, don't be surprised if the customer looks at the other stands tutti-fruitti every now and then. Just my 2c - and treat it and every answer you get here like that - but think outside the Christian square pleeeeeze.
2007-05-15 13:30:04 · answer #2 · answered by Pepe 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure what the problem is,but that's probably because I'm a liberal pagan woman. Porn is porn, it's just fantasy. Regardless of how religious a man is, he's going to have fantasies and it may as well be relieved through pornography and masturbation. Would you rather have him come into the marriage a virgin from sex with masturbation on his soul or as a man who has had sex with another woman?
2007-05-15 07:42:10 · answer #3 · answered by Kitten 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
He got irritated because he knows he did something wrong!!! Yes it is a sin, however it might be less of a sin than having sex before marriage. In the bible it even says that you are commiting adultary in your heart.
God wants you to fast and pray to avoid temptation. Other than that you should NOT wait so long to get married. THAT IS WHAT SHOULD BE NORMAL!!!
Watching porn changes ppls expectations and the way they view sex and members of the opposite sex. It can really mess ppl up. I am sorry you have to deal with this husband that has this issue. -Truly sorry.
If he hid this from you what else is he hiding???
He's probably chatting with ppl online too. Check his bank/creidit card accounts too.
I say get a divorce--it might sound harsh but if counseling and everything else is out of the question what else is there? You can stay with him but if you already have trust issues how will you build a family etc?? Seriously, it sounds bad but it's better to move on NOW rather than get even deeper into it. He's adulterous and idolterous too.
HUGS to you girl!!! Keep on praying...
2007-05-15 07:42:46 · answer #4 · answered by Sassafrass 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋
What do you mean when you say "to stay healthy"?
Not having sex will not kill a man (or a woman). The masturbation (speaking from a religious point of view) is gratification of the flesh. Masturbation is a reaction of letting your flesh control your thoughts and actions (because he watches porn it stimulates his thoughts of sex which leads to masturbating). It has absolutely nothing to do with health or well being!
The reason masturbation is looked down on in religion is because in order to masturbate you have to lust or have "un clean" thoughts of someone. Lust is adultery committed in the heart. Porn, in connection to that is a sin because the person watching is lusting after the people in the movies and or pictures.
2007-05-15 07:27:25 · answer #5 · answered by KDW 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Hmmm, perhaps you are so high up on a cross that he feels he just can't "reach" you or possibly make you happy if you knew about how he felt?
If your attitudes are extreme in nature and that what he does is a "sin that devastates you" in your somewhat idealistic marriage maybe he feels that you have set somewhat unattainable expectations within your marriage and he feels he has to lie, hide and cover this up to maintain the peace.
You strike me as the kind of person who comes in like a bulldozer to a situation in your marriage to ensure you get what you feel is required or "righteous".
This may require a little diplomacy, tact, communication and compromise - if this is within you to do.
2007-05-15 08:02:42 · answer #6 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I really don't know what God allows and it not be considered sin...I do not like the thought of my hubby watching porn (unless I am with him)...A lot of men are addicted to that kind of stuff, just like drugs or alcohol...he may need some help...
2007-05-15 07:22:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
It can be addictive and can destroy marriages and lives as you well know. From a spiritual standpoint, he is practicing idolatry because he is worshipping images (porn turns people into objects) with his body (self gratification) Also that deprives you, the wife of your marital rights afforded you by scripture.
Seek a Christian counselor to help before it is too late.
2007-05-15 07:30:03 · answer #8 · answered by Travis McGee 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
well, all u do is a sin if u dont have pure heart , sex b4 marriage is sin cos GOD must bless u and him first and he did so thats cool after marriage , porn is a sin , and i guess he keep doing it cos he think he is hurting himself only or he think its a small sin but tell him that any he see in porn that he dont find in u , u will give him , blow his mind by ur beauty , tease him , push and pull , make him beg to touch u , U R HIS WIFE help him lol.
2007-05-15 07:21:07 · answer #9 · answered by evilzone92000 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Why would you ASSume that everyone here is a Christain and believes in your "God"? But to answer your question. I don't believe in "sin" and looking at porn wouldn't be one if I did. Masterbation is a normal human function. Everyone does, it there is nothing "wrong" with self discover/gratification. I doubt if you've actually "talked" to your husband rather than NAGGED him and nope he isn't going to listen to a nag. If you are so totally devistated then leave the marriage.
2007-05-15 07:27:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 4⤋