It is like, everytime, after our fighting, he would apologize very fast.
Sometimes, he made me cry by some stupid jokes, and as soon as he saw my tears, he apologized.
Did he mean it? or he just wanted to comfort me?
I need some opinion from mature people, thanks.
2007-05-15 07:09:21 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
PS:
Every time he promised me he will never do the same stupid thing again (like making the kind of stupid jokes, said no when something is important to me, etc), the good thing is he did never make the same mistake again, but he made some others...
2007-05-15 07:18:16 · update #1
Of course he meant it. Guys can be so insensitive sometimes....they open their mouths without thinking. When he saw how his comments upset you, then he thought about what he said and realised he shouldnt have said it. Probably for him it was a meaningless comment and if you didnt react badly then he would have thought nothing about it. If, however, he is continually saying things to upset you, then when you cry or get upset he apologizes, then I would be starting to wonder if he wasnt deliberately trying to upset you. He may be immature....females seem to mature faster than males.......maybe he hasnt learnt the art of effectifely communicating at an adult level. Maybe this is a "getting to know you period" where he is learning about boundaries....how far he can go.....learning about you and your reactions. Maybe he has said the same things to other girls and has gotten no reaction from them. Give it a bit of time for him to learn his boundaries and if after a while he is still continuing to say hurtful things then apologize straight afterwards, then I would be thinking twice whether I wanted that type of guy in my life.
Take care
2007-05-15 07:19:55 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When people fight & then apologize for something they said in that manner - it is a good thing - anger fuels the mouth to say things the brain may know is wrong. Afterwards the apology - if sincere - should be accepted. The most important part of your statement is that he does not repeat his actions.
What you need to consider is if your byf is always giveing in or "catering" to you and your opinions. Say if you were to force him to agree with you and apologize even though he still feels his position on something or his feelings were not being respected.
2007-05-15 07:25:31 · answer #2 · answered by martiek7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can be the judge of if he is being sincere. To always apologize first if he is in the wrong is fine. However if you are at fault for some of the arguments then you should be the one who apologiges. He may just not know how sensitive you are and wants to make ammends for upsetting you. If it is a joke or something maybe you need toloosen up. Maybe you are just a bit to sensitive.
2016-05-18 22:32:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From your question, it seems that your boyfriend is always at fault. Hmmmm...... Sounds to me like you need a reality check. Perhaps sometimes you should apologize, too, for being overly sensitive. In time, as you mature, you will realize that you have to pick your battles and let a lot of other minor stuff go if you want to have any kind of a relationship.
2007-05-15 07:29:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The biggest first questions are: What are you fighting about?
big stuff or smaller matters. Do you fight constantly? is it just 'loud conversations'?.
As to your question...some people just don't like disharmony and will act first to break the tension.
It doesn't necessarily mean that they felt they were wrong...they just want that uncomfortable moment to be over.
I don't have "fights" I discuss things. I don't like to be wrong in a issue and will apologize when it falls to me but other than that it can be quiet around the house for a while.
2007-05-15 07:19:42 · answer #5 · answered by Ronatnyu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so sweet. If he is always apologizing to you first after an argument, than that means that he really cares about you and doesn't want to hurt you. He is definitely a keeper. I wish that every time that me and my husband argue, I wouldn't be the one that always apologizes. You are really lucky to have a guy like that. There aren't many of them out there and you should stop worrying and appreciate it. It sounds to me that he did mean it and he also wanted to comfort you. Lucky YOU!!!!!
2007-05-15 07:16:09 · answer #6 · answered by mrz_lr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a good thing that he is apologizing & then not doing it again, so it seems to be sincere. But don't let him apologize if it is YOUR fault. Like if you crack a joke @ him 1st and it makes him come back with one...
Don't be affraid to say you are sorry either - Apology is a 2 way street!
GOOD LUCK GIRL!!!
2007-05-15 07:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by *Fickle Pickle* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only a good thing if he was actually at fault...otherwise, I'd wonder why he was apologizing if he wasn't in the wrong...or is he simply apologizing for fighting in general? And how often do you fight that this subject would even come up?
2007-05-15 07:13:02 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your b/f has a sense of humor, and most likely is trying to get a smile out of you not tears. You are being too sensitive. Lighten up a little bit. If he didn't want to see tears, of course he is going to apologize. If he did,, he wouldn't. My question to you is "why is it you need so much comforting?" I hope your not just one of them people who read into everything too much because you believe your partner is just out to hurt you.
2007-05-15 07:41:56 · answer #9 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people often say things that they don't mean during a fight. Once he's had time to cool off and realize what he has said , I am sure that he means his apologies.
You two have to figure out a way to discuss problems without them turning into fights
2007-05-15 07:14:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋