About my husband...?

Question

my husband is always very curious about me, he always ask me, like when i come bac from my job, he would say what i have been doing, to whom i were talking, as im a teacher. i don't know what he mean asking about that, sometimes i just talk with my collegues.

we have been married for 2 yrs & he don't let me go anywhere, alone even if it's shopping he would come with me, i don't kno what that means, he don't let me talk with his parents or any family member like my sister-in-law or brother-in-law, he just say to me that he know them very well, so it would be good for me if i don't talk with them..
Anyhow he do job as well, he remains very busy, but he would never forget to ask me what i have been doing all day...!!! he says that he cares alot about me that's y he is curious.
anyhow whenever i ask him to go out together to eat or watch movie, he always agree with me.
But if i would forget to tell him something, than he would go crazy, and would keep on saying why didn't i told him.

I didn't spell check, let me tell u one thing i haven't got time to spell check, as im very busy, now im also just adding further information just to let u know...!!!
(might this information also have some mistakes)
u ppl should understand & give answer to my question rather then pointing out..!!

But some ppl have given quite good answer's.
thanx...!!!

Let me tell u one more thing,that after marriage i told my hubby about my b/f who cheated on me, as that time he was worried.
.

whenever i ask him that ''Do u trust me''? then he would always say, that he trusts me but not other people.
anyhow i have contact with his parents but not much, but they are quite nice to me.
.

Answer 1

Hey,

I know its difficult to ignore such a behaviour.... but if u r willing to get accustomed to it... it might be easier for u. Like whenever he asks u something just tell him yeah i did this.... i did that.... we spoke abt this... that... etc. And incase you have forgotten to add any details.... forget abt it... dont try to explain abt it.

Men always feel this way.... "I trust u but not others". I wonder what sense that makes. Even my husband said that a lot..... and guess wat now i have managed to just get this part out...."I trust U".

Its a matter of time.... men are very insecured, they needs constant assurance that u r their love.... might take 2 - 5 years. The more u r willing to give in, the more they trust u.

But i wont say always try to give in.... when time is approriate and u know things wont go off the roof..... talk to him.... tell him how u feel abt his behaviour and that u r all family ... etc. They need to told this over and over.... just take ur time.

There is always plan B.... i would say dont ever thing of it until and unless u r so done with this man.

And sometimes... it might be just pure care. My husband takes me wherever i want.... but now i tell him.... u dont have to be so protective... i can take care of Myself. And he is very much willing to give me my time alone.

Hope it works for u as well.

Answer 2

No doubt your husband is very much possessive for you but at that sometime he lack trust in you. I know this statement will hit you hard but this is fact. The fact his knowledge about your Ex boy friend before marriage is the factor that troubles his mind even now. Some men are like that, they take sometime to digest the news about their wife's ex boy friend or husband as the case may be. This factor remains in their mind throughout their life & it only fades with the time when they start trusting their wife's to certain degree. Yes when you conceive his child & become a mother his mind will get diverted to some extend & you will get some freedom of movement without him, it’s only time factor that will bring this change in your life. This is the reason I always tell all the people asking here in yahoo answers whether they should disclose about their previous affairs to their spouse before or after marriage for which I always tell them to do so before marriage least in case of any doubt the parties to marriage can give a second thought before marriage rather bothering themselves after the marriage with all sort of controversies regarding this issue. But don't worry this is only a problem that get faded with time & you'll feel relieved in the coming years.

Answer 3

He isn't curious , he is real controller that wants you all to himself, then he knows your ever move. He is one of the worst kind, it's not because loves you so much , he wants to control you. You've just been married two years and he has already started ruling your ever move, it might be okay with you but after awhile you'll get tired of it and he will get worst by the day . He will never change you belong to him just like slaves belonged to their master. You want be able to talk to him and get him to change he will always be a controller.

You should get a DIVORCE, you may think it is so good that he loves so much , but you AIN'T seen nothing ,yet. It will get worst and need to get them bags packed and don't look back. Just keep going, never to return if you don't you will end up a prisoner in your own home. Been there, done that and pretty soon he will start verbally abusing you and then physical abuse. Run don't walk to the nearest Law Office or you'll live to regret it.

Answer 4

Nicki is correct. Love is not only blind and wild, it could be dangerous. within a span of 2 years you are the net to ask this question. First stage is confusion (u r now here), next irritation, next frustration, next anger, next mental torture and .............. Are you having such a rock like mind to withstand all this? Now Okay! ur engine is new and can run on any road and in any weather. 10 years down the line what is the position?

His attitude is not just over possessiveness or overwhelming love. More specially after he knew about your past boy friend. Live with peace.

Advise:
Get him to a professional Cousellor (EMERGENCY) 2 nip it in the bud.
1. Do not conceive (pregnancy) till one year after his couseling is over and he is normal
2. If counseling fails (after 6 months to 1 year period of around 8 - 10 sessions) get divorce by producing documentary / oral evidence of couseling, on grounds of "emotional cruelty / mental turpitude".
Recently supreme court (Feb 07) also held these points as valid grounds for divorce. Any thing is bearable but not mental torture.

Good Luck to you and be happy!

Answer 5

First of all let me tell you, only indian people can understand your problem, cz relation in europe or america is taken differently then in india(i.e. emotional & committed).

you husband loves you very much, but you did a mistake by telling her about your ex-bf, now he is bit afraid might b u'll return back to your b/f or something like that, take care of him properly and show him your love & affection as well, tell him you can leave the job & will take care of house hold, if he don't want you to work, try to gain his confidence. Indian mens are very sensitive and from your husbands possisiveness it seems that he loves you very much and don't want to loose you.

Just try to gain his trust (if you don't have kids, plan for it)

Answer 6

Red light. He may love you. However he had trust issues. If he continual to tell you who to speak too. It will not stop there. next is what you can wear, who you can go out with, or if you can go out at all. So look for the Red Light. I am sure you see it, or you would not have ask the question. Go with your instinct. Love him. However, be very careful not to lose you indepeneds.

Answer 7

Classic symptoms of a control freak that will become an abuser. People marry each other not own each other. I would expect this from an uneducated airhead but from a teacher it's just stupidity

Answer 8

Hello are you serious? He's obviously cheating go have some fun, cause if you stay with a psycho you could be hurt physically. He has noooo right to control you no matter what good luck lady.

Answer 9

Your husband is being over possesive and protective not because of any ill intentions but because he loves you soo much!!

You need to sit and discuss with him - and possibly you too should also ask him like A-Zee of all that he has been doing will kinda get pestered and would understand the problem, similalrly with his permission start talking to others, pester him with it too!!

Answer 10

sounds like he has trust issues.he has either been hurt in the past or someone is telling lies on you to get him all worked up because they don't like you with him,or they want him as well and haven't gotten the nerves to tell him so.he needs to talk to you and tell you why he is this way,before he ends up like that guy that was on dr.phil the other week. he had a control problem and it cost him his marriage.good luck & GOD BLESS.