How do you handle heartbreak?

Question

I just found out that my husband actively pursued a relationship with another woman, a friend in fact, 3 months prior to our getting married. My initial reaction was to be angry with both of them until I found out that she rejected him because she was my friend. The fact still remains that she let me marry him knowing he didn't love me. What's even sadder is that all of our friends knew. Everyone knew but me. While I love him dearly, there is no way I could possibly stay with him. He's taken all the joy I had.

I wish it HAD only been physical. He wanted to date her and see if a relationship would develop. I'd also asked him specifically to tell me the truth about their friendship.

My husband told me. He told me first. the list was pretty long... but that one was the worst.

Answer 1

pray

Answer 2

No matter what it will be hard. Just be true and honest with yourself. Do you really want to be with someone who would do that to you? Be with good friends, even if they didn't say anything, they made a mistake, but they were thinking about your happiness. I know I'd be confused and hope for the best. No friend wants to break that sort of news to a soon to be bride. Is he always a flirt? Even if he was having cold feet he should have talked to you about it beforehand. Maybe it was a weak moment. Did he talk to you around that time that he was feeling scared? I wouldn't be so angry that he hit on your friend, but the fact that he didn't come to you right away and tell you he was feeling scared and did something really stupid and loves you more than anything. Although realistically most men aren't so brave that they would rock the boat 3 months before the wedding by confessing to it. If he wasn't able to be open and honest with you then that was a red flag to begin with.

To answer your question... be with friends, keep as BUSY as you can. Rotate time with friends and hopefully they are good listeners. Let it out of your system. Cry if you need to. Talk and vent as much as you need to, but hopefully your friends will be true friends and keep you busy and listen when you need them. And do NOT talk to him, don't see him, don't try to think about him. Any contact at ALL will harm the healing process.

Answer 3

What is your husbands explanation for this? Don't just assume your husband doesnt love you and dont blame your friend for not telling you. There was no relationship if she rejected him. When you say actively persued....do you mean that he chased her or he was just flirting with her? How did you find this out anyway? Before you jump to any more conclusions find out from the horses mouth (your husband) what really happened. There are 4 sides to this story....Your friends, the person who told you, your husbands and your assumptions.....well probably more than that because you said all of your friends knew. Im sure if they thought he didnt love you, then they would have told you to not marry him. There is more to this than meets the eye. Talk to your husband and find out why he did it. Maybe you are blowing this right out of proportion. Yes, you are hurt right now, and its not nice to know that the man you love desired someone else. It was 3 months before he got married...maybe he got scared...maybe that was his last effort at "freedom". Unless you find out your husbands motives then you will eat yourself up with imaginings. Men, sometimes do have reasons for what they do....ask him, but more than that, listen to him and try to understand things from his perspective. Work this out together and dont throw away your marriage just yet. Find out the truth from his lips, then decide what you are going to do. You are in the initial stages of shock, so dont make any decisions while you are so stressed. Try to calm down, talk to your husband and find out the truth. You are hearing everything second hand and only from their perspective and now you are thinking the worst.

If you trully love him, then give him the opportunity to make sense of it for you.

Take care

Answer 4

Have you discussed this with your husband? You really should sit him down for a quiet discussion. I don't know how long you've been married, but if it's been fun , and you two get along great together, there's a really strong possibility that he is totally in love with you now. He may not have ANY feelings for your friend anymore. Give him a chance (one chance ) to let you trust him again.

Answer 5

The way I see it is if he will try and do that before you get married he will try and do it now that you are married and who's to say that he want find someone that will let him. So as far as him I would leave him and thank god you found out when you did and as for the friend if she was a true friend then she would have told you before you got married. So as for her I would leave her alone as well.

Answer 6

First things first you never let a man control your happiness. When entering a relationship most women give the all of themselves and most men don't giving the men all your power all your joy energy and when things don't work out you are left feeling empty. You need to work on you and gain that power back. Your friend she didn't tell you because she knows how happy he made you and didn't want to see you hurt. Move on go out with your friends date go back to the person you were before him refined yourself.

Answer 7

i actual experience for you, i had my heartbroken some years in the past and that i presumed i could die. Take at some point at a time and dont punish your self for feeling this way, you're human and the main effective maximum point headed people nevertheless have thoughts. Dont difficulty regarding the ingesting, in case you cant face it in basic terms ensure you drink particularly some fluids. i got here upon the proper way for me advance into workout. I went swimming and took long walks. Remind your self which you wont experience like this for ever and quickly you will start to experience extra constructive. it's going to be slow yet on a daily basis would be ever so fairly extra constructive, once you word even the tiniest progression remember the type you felt the former day and notice it as advantageous. Lean on your buddies and relatives and be sturdy to your self. Kalms organic pills have been fairly usefull to me, they take a pair of days to get into your device yet they do paintings. I had to take ruin day paintings i couldnt take care of, are you able to no longer take some vacations?you will get by way of this, its undesirable i comprehend yet you will x

Answer 8

Your husband is a DAMNED FOOL and doesn't deserve you! Direct your anger at him not her. She is a good friend who's only mistake is not telling you, but, this was probably because she didn't want to see you hurt. Especially by her. Coming between a couple is STUPID, because you lose both friends and they stay together. You've got to make up your mind & open your eyes to see what you are doing. WAKE UP then BREAK UP!!!!

Answer 9

Having someone you love hurt you is not ease no matter how hard you try to go on. If you can not work it out then it is time to call it over. I will not tell you it will be easy, but I will say it gets easier. If you take time for your self it will give you time to think about what it is you really need in your life.

Answer 10

i had a boyfriend,special one.at first i thought he do love me sincerely.who knows after a year...exactly one year our relationship broke.he said his friend has dare him to get in love with me.i really felt disappointed and heartbroke.after five years i still cannot forget him.but now im ok.how do i handle it?
1.Pray a lot- not to curse him but to make him realize that im so dearly love him.
2.Friends-hanging around with them make me feel better.
3.Keep silent- do not ever tell how do you feel after the incident to anyone.
4.Stronger
5.Trust yourself
6.It is just to test your faith.Believe in your heart that someone somewhere is made for you...it is just a matter of time.

Answer 11

How long have you been married?
Has he strayed after you got married?

OK so if you want out - get out. End of discussion.

If you don't want out, then forgive. Forgive your friend. Forgive your husband. But most of all, forgive yourself for getting into this predicament in the first place.

Finally, don't expect other people to be resopnsible for your happiness. Your happiness is up to you.