How do I get my husband to stop starting projects and not finishing them?

Question

As of this moment, my husband has atleast 10 unfinished projects around the house. The worst one is the bathroom, which he completely gutted without my consent, and hasn't finished. It's been torn apart since late February. We took a week of vacation time in the hopes of getting everything done, but he spent that week starting more projects and not finishing the ones he already had. I am at my wit's end, and am feeling completely overwhelmed by my torn up house and garage. I just want it to look nice and organized!! HELP!

I would love to be able to help him because atleast it would get done, but I have no idea what I am doing, and he gets all pissy when I ask. Also, half the projects involve motorcycles and other stuff I don't know about, so I would only be in the way. Finishing them myself, obviously has always been an option, but why the hell should I suffer thru the mess, and then finish his crap for him?! That doesn't seem very fair!!!

Answer 1

I have been in your position before. I truly feel for you! you have two ways to go about it ONE-attempt to finish one project at a time even if you have not done them before don't be afraid to try. every time you need help ask him bombard him with questions he will spend more time explaining it to you than it would have taken him to do it himself.he should get sick of answering and jump in,and you will learn some shills along the way. TWO.start calling around and collect as may free estimates as possible on completing his projects. tell him if each project is not finished on a deadline you will hire the contractors.the sticker shock should push him into action.

Answer 2

Men across the world do this ALL the time - so your not alone! You can try to finish them yourself - typically when the woman gets actively involved one of two things ahppen - either the man will get up and say "don't do that i'll will" & then he does or you both wind up finishing the project together which is excellent quality time! Also there's the hire someone to come in and finish (if you have the funds) - make sure your hire someone who 1 - will come in and do the job the right way - 2 - will quit if your hubby takes over & only charge you for the time spent - 3 - start with a tiny project that could be fixed without too much time so as it to get finsihed before your husband has an opportunity to raise a fuss. I know for a fact that the first time this happens - expect an uproar!!!!!!! I am not kidding! So you have to be sure to make it the tiniest of projects unless of course you believe your husband to just be overwhelmed with a project to a point of where he's not knowledgeable of what he's doing & doesn't know where to turn for help without feeling foolish. This is a big thing with most "men" - they truley have a gene that makes them believe they know how to do it - can figure out how to do it - yadda yadda.

Other then that, be patient with him, adjust yourself into the theroy that at least he's trying and you love him for it!

Answer 3

Hey, the fun is not finishing projects, the fun is starting them....why not offer to help instead of being demanding.;...saying...why hasn't this been done......why hasn't that been done......you're always goin out w/ your firends......I slave over a hot stove and what thanks do I get.....just where do you think you're goin.....I'm not finished talking to you.......get off your duff.....why do you go do something.......rahh....rahh....
just kidding.....I understand. Just say honey...I'd really like to help you out...do you need me todo anything...you're so good with that hammer...come over here and let hammer a kiss on those strong lips....ya know I can call somebody to give you a hand if you need it...really. I really appreciate your hard work on our house...you deserve some special attention tonight...oh did I tell you we're having for favorite....kind words...

Edit: Motorcycles??? Wow....he does start ambitious projects...do y'all have a big garage or something. I understand about the pissy comment. No one likes to be told what to do...Listen, you and him need to sit down and plan together what both of you need to contribute to the marriage. A weekly project update with all that is going on. You can list all of the projects (take as many sheets of paper that you need!! ha ha) and their estimated completion dates. And try to plan around them...He needs to understand that his projects can intrude on other nice activities, like date night, couch time...With the house a wreck, there now place to put the couch....Lay down the law, no more starts until something get finished.....Hey I know where you're comin from..I kinda bad about this myself....I come by it honestly..I think I inherited that gene from my dad.... G/L

Answer 4

When you figure that out, please let me know! I have to threaten my husband with divorce before he'll finish anything! I have no less than four half-finished projects going on in my house at the moment. The most frustrating this is the tools and mess and gadgets he leaves all over the friggin house! Ugh, extension cords and fishing gear on the kitchen counter drive me nuts. I know I didn't help you but I'm just commiserating with you!

Answer 5

Give him a deadline. Say, the bathroom MUST be finished by X date, and on that date, I will call in a contractor to finish the work--at HIS expense if you guys do your finances that way. Then tell him that he cannot start any more projects until he finishes the ones already started. Be firm on this one too. But I promise you, you'll only have to call someone in once...the minute it hits his pocketbook, he'll cave.

Answer 6

I feel your pain! My husband is the same way! But I found that if I help him to do the project and motivate him then he is able to get the work done. You might have to get your hands dirty! Good luck!

Answer 7

I don't know but if you do find out let me know. My hubby started painting a spare room for our baby and 5 years later he still isn't done. Thank God we had extra bedrooms now he is converting it into an office. It should be done by 2012.

Answer 8

Get him some serious help.....as in counseling. Something is very wrong with someone who doesn't take pride in accomplishments and only seems happy when tearing things apart. Otherwise you will be living in this chaos forever.

Answer 9

Wow, I first opt to offer you an applaus for being the type of sweetheart and loving your spouse such as you do. you spot , specific ! this is actual she is probebley be experiancing the excitment she didnt come upon via fact she married youthful . yet , she did have particularly some excitment via you got here upon some evidence of photos of them the two . This could desire to be so stressful for you going via this occasion. as much as you adore your spouse - you would be able to desire to dig deep into your soul and forgive her , and enable this one flow. She is fortunate you adore her this plenty ,different adult adult males wouldnt even tolerate any infitelity.yet , be straightforward mutually with your self formost-this isnt a sport .You the two vowed to love one yet another (specific you married youthful yet nevertheless,thats beside the factor)and a vow advance into broken already. i could say she wouldnt be have confidence worth anymore . She stored this secret hidden ok from you first of all and he or she additionally had particularly some high quality time with him for such photos. i will say straightforward - your doing the proper factor , basically for giving her a 2nd danger (via toddlers) yet -open your eyes , she advance into the single that strayed no longer you. be careful in case you the two make amends . as much as you adore her , she will see it as getting away with it uncomplicated. you would be able to desire to set boundries (surprisingly for the sake of your toddlers).besides , who's to assert she doesnt love or perhaps have emotions for this different individual (if she does) this could be stressful. so which you would be able to desire to set it right away that a third danger wont be on the table returned. I assist you realize this basically via fact you deserve extra constructive for you and your loved ones. at cases whilst people attempt a clean style and prefer it they'll seek for it returned . My proper needs to you . OH' your spouse is fortunate .If it advance into the different guy - I dont think of they could enable this flow via devoid of any action .desire all truns out nicely for you and your loved ones. sturdy success!

Answer 10

Aderall, Concerta, Ritalin, or Stattera may help.