hi my parents got a divorce a while ago and i have not been able to get oveer it and i am really hopping tht someone can help me. so can you?
2007-05-15 05:01:35 · 22 answers · asked by Dawn G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are support groups and message boards for children of divorce. If you don't want to go to counseling just yet please seek out the message board as an option to lessen the intensity of your experience by showing you how others have coped. My parents split up when I was 8 and it sucked for a while and I was mad at both of them. Within a year or two of seeing them both happier and us happier by default then it just became what it was. The two adults in my life didn't love each other anymore but they loved me and my brother and that's all that mattered in the end.
2007-05-15 05:15:05 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My parents were divorced when I was 20, it was one of the most horrible experiences I have been through. Your whole world seems to be falling apart...that was 14 years ago, and it still hurts. Although I have no answer for you, I just want you to know that you have to be strong and continue to grow into your own person. You may never know why it happened or how it happened but the fact is, it did. You have to move on, and try to be happy within yourself. You are grieving the loss of your family and that is not something you easily get over, so be patient with yourself and it will get a little easier as time goes by. Good luck to you and be strong. God Bless.
2007-05-15 05:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by Nothing but the truth...!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of it this way: your parents ARE people. They made a pact to join forces a long time ago. Now they have made a pact to no longer work together. It is definately NOT an easy situation but it can be dealt with well.
I presume there has been some problem in the background going on? Fights? Infidelity? Lack of support?
Do not allow backbiting to happen if there is this sort of situation that was going on. Dont allow one parent to make cutting remarks to YOU about the other.
The parents themselves will love you the same whether together and hateful or apart and relaxed.
I know you can handle the situation, many many children do these days! Chin up, stay strong and focus on: they still love me and it is NOT my fault that this has happened.
Sandra
2007-05-15 05:08:30 · answer #3 · answered by None Compare 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a child of divorce too. My parents got divorced about 10 years ago (I was 21 at the time). I guess the best advice I can give is to think about your parents just before they to you they were getting divorced. If they were anything like my parents they were not very happy people most of the time.
Compare that to how your parents are now. My parents are much happier now that they are divorced. And because my parents are happier I'm happier.
Hope that helps some. Try to get past yourself and allow your parents to persue their own happiness.
2007-05-15 05:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My Parents are divorced too, after 28years of marriage. I was in my 30s then and Even then, yes it hurt. They make it so easy to get out of a relationship these days and harder to try to make it right. Now, even though I didn't want it, I am divorced (she cheated and is a drug addict-and no, she wasn't when i met her) and I see the suffering in the eyes of my kids (I have them). They tell you that it gets better, and maybe the contact part does. But, The hurt and betrayal, yes i said that because that what it feels like, dont. You will always remember it, and it will effect your life from now on. I wish I had a way to make it stop, for everyone, but, we only suffer in silence and move on.
Good luck.....
2007-05-15 05:14:39 · answer #5 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my parents divorced when I was 15 and it was the hardest thing to do. My mother left 4 children 12, 15, 16 and a little 2 year old. I could never forgive my mother and didn't talk to her for 8 years!
When she finally called, I forgave her and life went on.
2007-05-15 05:08:07 · answer #6 · answered by DrPepper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my parents got divorced I felt like it was all my fault, which is why I dwelled on it for so long. What you need to do is see a therapist or counselor. You need to freely discuss all the things on your mind and get them out in the open. Once you have freed your mind of all the baggage you can begin to heal! :) Good luck!
2007-05-15 05:24:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dawn, I 'm hoping you can still find your self feeling their love and giving back to them your hugs, it is feeling like a death, and society covers that up cause it is a kind of passing away, but open your heart with love to them. It will be all you can do and it takes time to heal and face a different life for all. Divorce is selfish when their are kids, to me people should raise their offspring before jumping into more messes.
2007-05-15 05:12:14 · answer #8 · answered by kim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear that, i went through the same thing at 15yrs old, now im 27 and still havent gotten completly over it... however i moved on and didnt let it affect my life choices. you have every right to still think about this, for this is hurting, but dont let it ruin your relationship w/ either your mom or dad, this is also very difucult for them as well and im sure neither didnt intend for this to happen when they joined hands. just try and be supportive and successful throughout your life and even in the misdt of all this pain, they will be proud and youll bring their relationship as "parents" more closer and enjoyable......good luck!!
2007-05-15 05:16:48 · answer #9 · answered by KAT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my parent have ben divorced now for 3 years and at first it was hard. But than i just got use tot the idea and looked at all the good things about it. It hurts but youll get use to it and soon you will forget that hurt was even there. GOOD LUCK
2007-05-15 05:04:24 · answer #10 · answered by lost_in_love_still 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋