My husband has never had an orgasm during intercourse with me.?

Question

He seems happy in our marriage. I thought about leaving him after only 6 months, but now our 5 year anniversary is coming up.
He doesn't seem interested in sex very often. I know he enjoys being with me. But I don't feel that special bond.
I feel like I am only with him because I can't bear the lonliness of being single. He is just okay. I my first husband liked sex. I never imagined that if I married a man because I was lonely...that he wouldn't be interested in sex.
I am very resentful. If I was young I would leave but I am over menapause..althougth I wasn't went I married him.

Answer 1

I've never heard of a man not being able to have an orgasm before.......
I've heard of them being impotent..........
but,if that's not the case and he just doesn't have an orgasm then something else is going on..........
I hate to say it,but maybe he's gay...................
he could be gay and doesn't want to admit it to you or himself.....
alot of gay people live normal straight lives.....alot of them are married and have kids.....
it could also be some other medical reason,instead.....
you should try and get him to see a doctor..........
to rule out any medical reasons..........

Answer 2

You need to go to the doctor and tell him about him not having an orgasm, then see if he can give him a stimulant like a topical gel. The problem he might be having is that when he is peeking the orgasm he moves and doesn't keep the same rythem. You have to keep going the same rythem as when you are peeking. He needs to call a doctor. But yes, if he is faithful and not an a** hole don't leave him. Sounds like you compare too much. How would you feel if he felt the same way about you? You would be upset. Do you want to have sex if it doesn't do anything for you? Answer these questions that you are asking us, in your own perspective, and see how it would make you feel .

Answer 3

it sounds as though you both married for the wrong reasons. you because you were lonely and he for a partner. maybe he is not as happy as you think. if you spoke to him about the way you feel and your needs for sex maybe he would realize how much of a problem it is for you. he may just have low levels of something in his body that cause him to not want alot of sex. if he doesn't feel sexual and you don't tell him you need it then he'll never realize he is neglecting you. i know a man who had sex well into his 80's, with medicinal help. so if you are just past menopause then i am guessing that you have many years left to enjoy sex. don't give up on it at that young of an age.

Answer 4

Are you sure your husband doesn't have a mistress? I've never met a man that wasn't interested in sex. There has to be a problem somewhere.Try sitting down and talking to your husband. Let him know how you feel. Another option would be to spice up things a little. New lingerie, candle light dinners, or maybe sex toys might put the fire back into your sex life. Counseling could also help.

Answer 5

I never heard of a man that can't orgasm it just weird.. have you asked him why? or have he ever had one? you need to communicate with your husband because this is something really strange.. Don't think is because of you.. I mean men can orgasm looking at the Discovery channel watching animals mate.. I mean something has to be wrong with him.. Don't blame anything on you.. you guys should seek counseling or a sex therapist.. Go and try before your marriage goes down the drain for something that could be fix.. Good luck.

Answer 6

I was in a relationship with a man who couldn't "finish" . He didn't have a real high sex drive either. Perhaps your husband has low testosterone. A visit to the doctor could check on it.
You have every right to be resentful. Sex is a huge part of life. You have to decide what's really important to you and then live your life accordingly. Good luck.

Answer 7

It is true that not all men are sex hounds... I have met a few over the years that way.
What you have found out is that the woman's side needs the bond and that bond is developed by fulfilment during closeness in the sexual act. Many marriages have survived during this lack...because they wanted it to or because of convenience.
The question is: can he give you that bond? Are you willing to live the last of your time on this world without it?
If not, you know the answer.
I myself have opted to drop the marriage and live single and alone, because my relationship was a sham. He said he loved me and in his mind he did, but the reality was: he loved to abuse and use me...it was convenient for him to have a slave to call dirt.
So, I too have a starved heart but I choose to live on my own...less agony.
Soul searching and conversation with your husband will give you the answer, whether you like it or not. Good luck! Sandra

Answer 8

All of us have different sex drives and rarely does a couple have the same drive. Perhaps telling him that you find sex to be important for you to feel connected in the marriage will help him get his butt in gear. He may be having some "problems" and a thorough physical could help, as well.

First, though, you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel about sex and then go from there. He can't read your mind nor should he have to.

Good luck.

Answer 9

Some men just have a low libedo (sp). Thats one of the reason we all sleep with men before we get married. Make sure we both have same sex drive. But if you are looking to get passion back in your life buy some sex toys, get him some porn, videos are best, and perform some oral, pay attention to that porn yourself if you need to learn how, and when he becomes closer to climax, climb on. LOL...I feel so silly saying that.

Answer 10

Maybe he has something physically (or mentally) wrong with him...has he seen a doctor? Have you tried counseling?

If you choose to stay in a marriage that is lacking intimacy, you will only continue to be unhappy and miserable and will eventually break your vows. If there is nothing physically wrong and he has all his facilities, cut your losses and leave.

There is nothing worse than being lonely when there is someone right there with you!