What do you all think? Please be honest but also please be nice. I dont have time to deal with immature people

Question

Im going to be 18 on Oct 1st and my fiancee is going to be 22 on Feb 25. We have been together for 2 years now and since we met we knew we were ment for each other. We have always wanted to start a family young, or should I say when I turn 18. My family and his knows we are engaged and so on. Both sides of the family wouldn't press charges if I got pregnant before my 18th birthday. We all already had talked about this. We are both finacially set and we are both attending college. Do you think that state would still press charges if I get pregnant before I turn 18 seeing how I will be 18 in 4 1/2 months? In Wisconsin the age consent law for sex is 18. But seeing I am so close to that age, we have been together for so long, and the family has no problems with it; dp you really think that state with waiste their time pressing charges against him? Please do help, Im not saying it is going to happen but if it were to happen. I just want to be on the safe side of things. Though Im having sex

Answer 1

You have to understand that 18 or going to be 18 is way different then 12 or 13......Personally I dont think that they will do anything about it. It would be much much different if you were the age that I mentioned. If you are concerned, contact your district attorney for advice. There is nothing wrong with asking them.

Answer 2

Don't take any unnecessary risks. The state would most likely not press charges, but they still could, and the reprecussions in Wisconsin are very, very bad for convicted sex offenders.

To tell you a little story... I once had a friend who worked as a social worker who handled convicted sex offenders. One of the cases that bothered him most was a man who was convicted when he was only 18. His girlfriend was two months away from turning 18 when the charges were filed. The couple was engaged, in the same grade, and had a good relationship. After the charges were pressed, the man went to jail for 3 years, only to marry the woman when he got out. Now, despite the fact that he is married to the supposed victim, he is listed on the sexual offenders list in Wisconsin. What this means is that the state keeps tabs on him constantly, any employers that run background checks will know what he's done which severly impedes the places that he can work (no banks, insurance companies, etc), his photo is posted on the wi sexual offenders website for anyone who's on the internet to see, and whenever he moves the police dept notifies everyone within a 3 mile radius that he is a convicted sexual offender of a minor.

The law is incredibly stupid, yes, but there's nothing you can do about it. My advice is to either wait, or get married right away. In WI, the legal age for marriage with parental concent is 16. You cannot be charged for having sex with a minor if that minor is your wife.

Just remember that you won't be able to attend college while pregnant, and that college will be harder with children to take care of. I had a baby at 19 (was 18 while pregnant) and I definately recommend it. Aidan's 4 now, and I'm still young enough that I can play on the playground with him and not feel too silly. Also, I have a lot more energy than a lot of the other parents that I know.

Good Luck!!

Answer 3

The reason the age is set to 18 is because you are still so young at 18. Even if you are very mature for your age, you have your whole life ahead of you. Is your fiance able to support a family with a place to live and all necessities? Because if you are planning to have a family i'm sure you want to be a stay at home mother. Just make sure you have all your ducks in a row before getting pregnant. It will make everything else a lot easier. Its very stressful to worry about money and food, and having a small baby. If he can support you and a family, and you both want the same things, then get married, and have a family... but if you have any doubt, wait a year or 2 at least. It will be much more enjoyable, the more stable you are as a family and household. Good luck to you, and remember at 18 and even 22 you are still become the person you are, so feelings and things you want change frequently. If you are already pregnant, congrats. And no, the only way he can get charges against him is if someone cares to press them.

Answer 4

I don't think the state would press charges if nobody complained. It's also doubtful since you are almost 18. I would encourage you to get married first and spend a little time together as a married couple before having a baby. I got married at 18 and "accidentally" got pregnant right after we got married. My husband's parents lived with us and then the baby was born and now we have 3 kids. I realized the other day that we've been married 18 years and have never lived alone, just the two of us. Consider college too. Will you keep attending after the baby is born? You might want to try to get pregnant in a month that will allow the baby to be born between semesters so you won't have to miss school. Seriously, think about waiting just a little while.

Answer 5

I don't understand why you feel the need of approval from people all over the world who do not know either of you. You are near the age of consent for your state, your families approve , you are already engaging in sex, you never discuss any future other than having kids--no career plans or long life plans to support a family. Most posters who are over 30 had the same story as yours not so many years ago and barely remember the guys name by now. If they married at 18, they likely divorced by the time they were 21. Of course, you will do as you want, so why ask?

Of course, my suggestion is to go to school or established in a legitimate job where you can both earn at least a comfined income of $4000 monthly before you ever think of adding another mouth to feed with all the extra financial responsibilities that go with it.

Answer 6

If the age of constent is 18 and you both know it is, then by having sex, he is committing a crime. It seems like you're still attracting a lot of "judgy" answers on here, I won't do that, I promise! There is a chance that child protective services could intervene if you become pregnant before the age of 18 and he could be charged, at the least, with contributing to the delinquincy of a minor. Charges could be more serious than that, regardless of whether you choose to press charges or not. Res Ipsa Loquitor, a legal term, states that the "thing speaks for itself". You would be a pregnant minor and he would be the biological father; you wouldn't need to press charges for him to be charged.
This could really screw up not only his life but yours and a potential child as if he were to be charged as a sexual offender it could prevent him from parental rights for the child.

Answer 7

If you are really that serious about having a family together, I don't think that it should matter. Have you talked to your family to see how they feel about it? Not whether they would press charges or not, but how they would really feel if you were having a baby. Do you two live together? or do you still live with mom and dad? If you still live at home, it has a lot to do with them. I would suggest that if you do live at home, wait until you move out with your boyfriend to get pregnant. If you live with your boyfriend, and you are very determined to have a baby, then go ahead! If you are worried about the age thing, just wait to tell them until you are 18. I got pregnant and had my daughter at 19, and it is hard, but definatly do-able. I had my son at 22. And they are great! My daughter was definatly not planned though. It is just a lot to think about. Just don't rush into anything. Take your time and think about it. It sounds like you are worried about the situation, so maybe it does require more thought than you think.

good luck!

PS- You say you don't want to deal with immature people? I just looked at your other questions, and you are a bit contradicting, and it sounds like you need to grow up a bit before you have a child. A lot of people are taking time to answer your question, and in your other questions you are already pregnant and married looking for baby names. In another you are fighting with your boyfriend and not doing good,. I think you need to make up your mind! And stop wasting everyones time that is just trying to help u!

Answer 8

im not sure what the laws are where youlive, but if your parents do not press charges you should be alright. if the state does pick up charges your parents need to got to court on his behalf and say they gave permission. My opinion is for both of you to wait until after you finish college to have a baby. Statistically women who get pregnant during college drop out and never finish. do your future child a favor and wait. if you two were meant for each other then waiting wont be a problem. taking care of a baby is more than a fulltime job and even if the grandmas help the fact is its your baby and you need to raise it. It costs alot of money and even welfare doesnt cover 1/10th of the expenses. you and your family will suffer. finish school. How would you feel if your child was 10 years old and wanted the latest hand held video game out there, but because you and your husband have no education and cant get a good job you cant afford to buy it, then the child becomes the poor kid on the block and feels bad when his friends have stuff he wants, but mom and dad cant afford it. please do your kid a favor and wait so you can giove him a good life. no one says be rich but be comfortable, and no money does not equal love, but why suffer when it is in your control how the future plays out. think it over.

Answer 9

Well, if you truely want to be on the safe side of things, then use birth control and/or a condom.
I'm not trying to be rude, but more helpful. Hun, how are you two financially set at 17 yrs old and 21 years old AND in college? Do you know how much it costs to be pregnant, have a child and raise a child? What if there are multiples? What if the baby has a problem? Are you ready to quit college if need be? Is HE ready to quit college if he has to, to get a job full time? You both sound smart since you're both in college. Please consider waiting a couple years, at least, before having a child. Even as a married couple, both working full time at good jobs, we had to struggle a bit (had twins). Best of luck to you hun.

Edited to add: ok, just read some of your past questions. You two were on the verge of break up recently and you were about to start "talking" to another guy. Please don't get pregnant as a means to "fix" your relationship. It won't help. More than likely it will only make things worse. Please think this through hun. Again, best of luck.

Answer 10

I knew a girl that I met in college who grew up in Wisconsin. She got pregnant 3 months before turning 18 and her fiance was 22. The state pressed charges on him, even though her family and his family were fine with it. He is still in jail. Don't take the risk of sending your fiance to jail. Apparently, the laws in WI are very strict. Just wait.

Answer 11

For the love of your first Child...Do not risk it...
Seriously... My Girl Friend got pregnant 1 Month before She turned 18 and She lives in Wisconsin. The State pressed charges though noone else would and He went to the pen...He gets out maybe in 3 more years...Maybe.