Is this a good start for my story???

Question

Here: (the whole story is gonna be really long, so i just want to know if its written alright so far.)

The large, white Delta plane soared in the sky. Obeying the pilots’ hands, it turned slowly to begin facing the final destination. Eyes closed on the plane as it sluggishly approached the landing spot. BOOM! The plane’s tiny wheels hit the cement ground. It zoomed down the slab of concrete. Men in bright yellow-green suits directed the plane with vivid, orange cones.
By then, the plane ran slow as it approached the terminal. “You may now unfasten your seatbelts,” the young stewardess sounded on the speakers.
“Thank God!” exclaimed 15 year old Jen Forman. She unfastened her plain, gray seatbelt and grabbed her black backpack. “I feel sick.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll feel better,” her dad, Dallas, soothed.
“You’re not the only one…” Seth, her 17 year old brother, trailed off. He leaned over and put one of his hands over his stomach.
“Here,” Dallas said as he grabbed a Tums pack from his navy blue backpack. “Take two of ‘em.”
Seth nodded, stuck two pale red tablets in his mouth, and began chewing them. He handed the Tums pack to Jen. “Thanks,” she said. She did the same and handed the pack back to Dallas. He shoved them back in his bag.
“Please check to make sure that you’ve grabbed all of your personal belongings,” the speakers sounded again. It added, “Thank you for flying with Delta.”
“You kids got everything?” questioned Dallas.
“Yep,” answered Seth as Jen nodded.

sorry the paragraphs aren't really clear...

Answer 1

No. It gives the reader no indication of where the story is going, nor any indication of characters or conflict. You have a great sense of detail but none of suspense: We have all been on airplane flights, and we can all believe it.

But why should anyone read any further than we have?

Answer 2

1) I think you should start right in with a focus on the character. You don't even need mention she's on a plane. One plane is like any other. Nothing to capture the reader's attention.

2) The dialogue isn't very interesting. It is also stilted. The characters don't seem to have individual personalities. They cold be anybody.

3) "Tums" isn't a very interesting thing to grab. It is too conventional. It's not likely anyone would be interested in that. Unfortunately of fortunately, stories have to be more interesting than real life; otherwise why not just stick with real life. If Dallas opened a coffee cup and a butterfly flew out, that could be interesting. It makes the reader what is happening.

Answer 3

I think that was very well written, but I think you should add more details, like where the family is going, more about the family, things like that. If you are going to add that later on, good idea. I liked how you described other things though, and I like the beginning with the plane.