The "donor" of my 3 year old daughter is not and has not ever been involved in her life. I did tell him when I first found out I was pregnant. He suggested an abortion. We did communicate for the first couple of months of my pregnancy with how to proceed. He wanted nothing to do with the baby. He soon married someone and I learned more about his lifestyle in which I do not want my child. I have no hard feelings toward him and wish him well. He has had no contact with my daughter and I've not asked for any contribution to her support. I would like to make sure he doesn't come back 5 years from now and suddenly want to be a dad. He is not on her birth certificate, but I know he could use DNA tests to prove his relationship to her. I believe he would sign something saying he will not pursue this as long as I never ask for support. Can I draw up an agreement to this effect? Does anybody know where I could find a sample? Does it have to go before the court?
2007-05-15 03:36:35 · 9 answers · asked by Pen L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know that I can't terminate his rights. But can he give them up without going before the court?
2007-05-15 03:46:15 · update #1
Nor do I WANT him to pay anything. I'm not even going there. I don't need him to. I just worry that he will some day want to become involved in her life for his own gain.
2007-05-15 03:48:20 · update #2
I live in a small town. I've always referred to him as the "donor". I do not want my personal life fauder for gossip. If I go before the courts, it will be a matter of public record.
2007-05-15 03:52:01 · update #3
I'm not married, but would like to be some day and would like to be able to have my husband adopt my daughter without complications. I also have guardianship assigned to my brother & his wife should something happen to me. I would like to ensure that he doesn't interfere with that. I don't know that he would even try or ever cause a problem. I simply would like some assurance that he can't.
2007-05-15 03:56:55 · update #4
The best way to go is through the legal system. I went through this just a couple months ago, and I learned there are a lot of little loop holes. My sons donor was never involved,I didn't name him on the birth certificate either. After I got married my husband wanted to adopt my son after all he was the only father he had known. So we hired a lawyer and made it official. But he does have to sign his rights away, and if he doesn't sign the petition then he has thirty days before it goes into default. Meaning that he forfeited his rights by ignoring the petition. No judge will take a child out of a stable home and put her with a parent that she doesn't know at all. But you can terminate his rights I think, and usually it isn't that hard, just find an attorney who specializes in this area. See if they will speak with you over the phone, this will give you a better understanding of what your rights are, and what options you have. You don't necessarily have to go to court, when I did it the donor came to my attorney's office , signed the document, and My hubby,son, &I went to the judges chambers. They did a great job making my son feel like it was a special day, and it was. So it can be done neatly and with out a lot of drama. If you feel like he will sign over the rights you should have an easier time with it. Make sure you are honost when doing this because lying could jeopardize your case. I can totally relate to you and your situation, it's almost like looking in the mirror, but it can be done. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-05-15 04:11:58 · answer #1 · answered by kt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You definitely can draw up an agreement for that.
DO NOT use a generic sample document as they do not necessarily follow all the applicable laws of your state in terms of wording and formatting. You run the risk of a court voiding later on those grounds. For something so important, pay a lawyer to do it.
Yes, it has to be approved by the court. The judge has to ask the dad if he knows exactly what it means to do that and make sure he's not somehow being forced to.
If dad receives notice and doesn't appear the judge will issue a default judgement in your favor.
2007-05-15 03:44:24 · answer #2 · answered by Atavacron 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you can not terminate someones parental rights ONLY A COURT CAN if they see is is unfit which is hard to do..ONLY he can say he wants to terminate it..but he is still responsible for child support either way so I doubt he will give his rights up he is a fool if he does ONE MORE THING..he does not have to pay nothing to you since he is not on the birth cert as a matter of fact before you can get child support if you ever do, they will have him take a DNA test..
2007-05-15 03:41:11 · answer #3 · answered by Gina 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He can terminate his parental rights and still pay child support, and he should. He made a child, and even though he does not want to be involved, and your okay with it, he still needs to be held accountable for his omissions.
A lawyer can draw up papers giving you all this. Make sure you also ask for sole custody.
Fathers can voluntarily give up their rights. Same as mothers. It happens all the time.
2007-05-15 03:44:17 · answer #4 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Termination of parental rights are taken very very seriously and often done only in family/juvenile courts across the country and often CPS is involved and that is after years of court battles.
Now i have not heard of private hearings for termination of parental rights, the only thing that you can do it get sole custody of your child, this is done what the father is not contributing financially, emotionally or in any manner for the welfare of the child.
You can file the paperwork now when he is still dead set on not wanting anything to do with the baby. he will not contest and will sign the paperwork in a heartbeat.
In comparison to five years when he is changing his mind, he can contest.
2007-05-15 03:44:17 · answer #5 · answered by reene2g 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you might want to consult an attorney on this. Just because he signs over his rights, he stills has a financial obligation to the child
Update**
Even though he didn't sign the birth certificate, you still need to take the matter up to the courts. As you clearly pointed out you don't want him later down the road talking about, "hi___, I'm your daddy" Like I said before, get yourself an attorney. they will know the process in which to have him sign over his parental rights as well as financial rights. Good Luck
2007-05-15 03:42:11 · answer #6 · answered by plumprump26 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, unless your married and have someone willing to step up where he wont. Meaning if you had a husband that was willing to ADOPT your child, that would be a better thing to do instead of that your talking about BASTARDIZING your child. Just because a man pays child support doesnt give him access to your whole life. It is not the childs fault you two made a bad match together. think long and hard before you place such a harsh stigmatizm on your child.
2007-05-15 03:49:10 · answer #7 · answered by SECRET woman 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
U r worrying unnecessarily. Till the age of 14 or so, whatever action, if any, is taken by the donor, he cannot have the custody of the child.
2007-05-15 04:09:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Legal route is best if you want it to stand up in court
in the future, if it comes ot that. Call a lawyer that specializes in family law.
2007-05-15 03:40:48 · answer #9 · answered by M S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋