MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent,
please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities,
press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional,
press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic,
listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to
press.
If you are manic-depressive,
it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy
anyway.
If you are dyslexic,
press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar,
please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the
beep.
Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.
If you have low self-esteem,
please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal,
put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't
be crazy forever.
If you are blonde,
don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
2007-05-15 02:34:11 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
dont be shy to star if you like!
2007-05-15 02:34:40 · update #1
LOL, sending this to my (blonde) mother-in-law that LOVES blonde jokes.
Thanks!
2007-05-15 02:42:17 · answer #1 · answered by rockerchick82 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 100!
2016-04-01 02:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I borrow this? It's only 9:30 and I know it's the funniest thing I'll see all day!
2007-05-15 02:40:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This ones funny...one of my friends has something like this on her phone when you go to leave a message...but just not as long...LOL!
2007-05-15 02:43:52 · answer #4 · answered by He's my world 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really one of the best email I ever received.
It is soooo good, you deserve a star, reading it always makes me laugh.
2007-05-15 02:42:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am soooo glad you posted this! I had heard the 1st 5 before and almost wet myself laughing - woops gotta go! Ha!
You are my hero :-)
2007-05-15 02:43:13 · answer #6 · answered by Linda B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that's funny =)
2007-05-15 02:47:25 · answer #7 · answered by Raistlin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋