Because the next time they find somebody and feel strong about the new person, they will know you failed already.
2007-05-15 02:20:41 · 13 answers · asked by paisan_7 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the word divorce does not mean much in today's society, there is so much of it, to me how long a person was married shows your ability for a relationship, as long as it wasnt abusive, and it just didnt work, people who stayed in a long term marriage shows they have the ability to deal with a relationship and all that goes with working at one, people who have been married 1 year here and 1 year with another person just show instability, not being able to cope with all that it takes to make a relationship work...
2007-05-15 02:46:42 · answer #1 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What an archaic way of thinking!
There are so many divorced people out there that this stigma is no longer a part of our society. Failure is only in the mind of the divorcee.
I strongly believe in marriage and my marriage vows but having been twice divorced I speak from experience.
Would you really think badly of a person if they opted out of an abusive marriage or a loveless one? I really think not.
I did think I was a failure when my first marriage ended in divorce but then I came to the realization that in my marriage I had done everything I could to make this person love me and want me but to no avail. I was a good wife and mother but they just were not in love with me and wanted out. No one judged me.
My second was abusive and I welcomed the freedom. My friends looked at me with respect .
After all that I went on to find a wonderful man who I have been married to for almost 4 years now.
2007-05-15 02:34:53 · answer #2 · answered by That_ blue_ eyed_ Irish_ lass 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't look at it as a failures. I was divorced after twenty years. It's two people that maybe was not right for each other but tried their best to make it work. Maybe you was too young and things happens in a marriage that put walls up that never comes down. Sometimes in life you take different paths you grow up and realize that what you thought was love with that person was not. It's all depends but now days I don't think people does look at it as failures each persons reasons is different.
2007-05-15 02:31:31 · answer #3 · answered by jujl62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because one didn't work, (i've had 2 that didn't) doesn't mean that you yourself failed unless you failed to be a good husband. If that is the case, you need to evaluate your priorities and decide if you really WANT to be married. If you were the one who was walked out on, but did all you could for the relationship, no, you are not a failure. You put trust in someone that either didn't give it back, didn't want long-term committment as they thought they did perhaps, or someone that just isn't supposed to be married themselves...Don't be hard on yourself. It's easy to do. My last divorce we both agreed it wasn't going to work after 20 yrs. big waste of time. But I tried harder than he did to make it work. Our friends even said, "why are you still together?". They thought it was great when we finally split. I know i'm much happier and i don't know where he is, but it's what we both wanted and now we go on with our lives wherever they take us.
2007-05-15 02:32:42 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When a man and a woman divorced they are not looked at as failures to me, if it did then a lot of people would look like that.
2007-05-15 02:25:34 · answer #5 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that.....I believe people divorce for many reasons and just becasue you can't make your marriage work it means you failed....I personally feel a marriage is still a relationship and if you decide to get a divorce it's like being in a committed realtionship that if things don't work between two people they break up...It doesn't mean they failed neither, it just means it's time to move on....
2007-05-15 02:32:24 · answer #6 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your divorced people wonder why? They wonder which one left who? They are only protecting themselves. If you tell them you divorced because she caught you cheating, I doubt she will have anything to do with you. But if they truly love you it shouldn't matter what happened. We all grow wiser from our mistakes and a person that has been through more in their lives make better companions. They are much more understanding and they know what their NOT looking for.
2007-05-15 02:29:24 · answer #7 · answered by Maria 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's not a spouse's fault the marriage failed. So the one who causes the failure is the failure. The one who did not cause it is the unlucky one.
2007-05-16 05:13:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, unless there was a good reason for divorce such as abuse, misrepresentation or cheating, I would think of it as failure to commit. I wouldn't get myself involved with such a person.
2007-05-15 02:25:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's only looked upon by others as a failure if you look at your self as a failure. just because something happens in a marraige and it doesn't work doesn't mean you failed. it just means that it wasn't right for that moment.
2007-05-15 02:24:24 · answer #10 · answered by cowgirlclub 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋