As long as the ego runs your life, most of your thoughts, emotions, and actions arise from desire and fear. In relationships you then either want or fear something from the other person.
What you want from them may be pleasure or material gain, recognition, praise or attention, or a strengthening of your sense of self through comparison and through establishing that you are, have, or know more than they.
What you fear is that the opposite may be the case, and they may diminish your sense of self in some way.
When you make the present moment the focal point of your attention — instead of using it as a means to an end — you go beyond the ego and beyond the unconscious compulsion to use people as a means to an end, the end being self-enhancement at the cost of others. When you give your fullest attention to whoever you are interacting with, you take past and future out of the relationship, except for practical matters. When you are fully present with everyone you meet, you
2007-05-15 02:18:30 · 5 answers · asked by abluebobcat 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
relinquish the conceptual identity you made for them — your interpretation of who they are and what they did in the past — and are able to interact without the egoic movements of desire and fear. Attention, which is alert stillness, is the key.
How wonderful to go beyond wanting and fearing in your relationships. Love does not want or fear anything.
2007-05-15 02:18:41 · update #1
Not by ego. By need.
2007-05-15 02:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by Barbara Doll to you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi, i read every word of your question about 4 times. i try really hard to fully understand what you are saying, and i conclude that all my relationships are based on fear. that absolutely floors me to admit, but i have to be honest. i spent all of yesterday, trying hard to "live in the moment" and the truth is, i cant do it. i absolutely see the sense in it, my dog does it and he is ecstatically happy most of the time, but i find myself constantly worrying about the future. i am like a child, unable to enjoy the ride he is on, because he is looking at the one he wants to go on next. i wish i could live the way you describe, but i don't know how
2007-05-19 03:52:03 · answer #2 · answered by fat momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like emotions rule...and what comes to mind with your definition of love is "lust",both of which are involved in the
emotion arena..=)
2007-05-15 09:25:32 · answer #3 · answered by legendary~cool 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cheers 2 points
2007-05-15 09:22:28 · answer #4 · answered by skye 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
false ego has a shopping list real ego wants attention ,,i dont mind real ego but false ego is ****
2007-05-15 09:22:48 · answer #5 · answered by samman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋