What's wrong with me?

Question

I'm always late for school, and I know it's my own fault, but I can't make myself get out of bed in the morning! It's so frustrating because when I'm late, my mom starts to scream at me and she just goes on and on and never stops. No matter what I say to her, she just doesn't stop. Then I start to yell back at her, and we're just having a yelling match because she says something to reel me in to the fight. Today was the worst, we both said some things and somewhere in there she said, "What's wrong with you??" and I started to cry and said, "I don't know," and she thought I wanted her pity but that was the last thing I want from her. I hate it, I don't know why, but I'm always sad and pessimistic and she yells at me even more after school when I used to sleep, saying it messed up my schedule.. but anyways.
Am I just depressed? I obviously cannot talk to my mother about it, and I would feel uncomfortable talking about it with any of my friends. Am I just overreacting?

I know that the easiest answer would be: stop being late!
But I can't explain to you the way I'm thinking in the mornings. I tell myself, "ok, 5 more minutes" and I shouldn't but I just lay there anyways! I know its a bad habit, but I guess I don't care. What I'm ultimately asking is, How can I make myself care more about what's important? And be happier while doing it?

Answer 1

I'll tell you what's wrong with you : NOTHING. :)

Judging by your post, I'm guessing you're a teen (or pre-teen). I'm 32 myself, and I vividly remember going through the exact same thing as yourself. My mother would yell at me (almost daily), not because I was late, but because I was a horrible student. The more she'd yell, the more I'd resent her. Then eventually I'd yell back at her. I remember thinking "why won't she just back the f*ck off?!" and I grew quicker and quicker to anger. The problem was I never realized that the reason she was yelling was because she was my mom and she was just worried about what would become of me. That's what parents do (I should know, I'm a father of two now). I think you're so busy dealing with what's on your plate, that you might not see why she's yelling at you. It's because she's worried for you. Sometimes parents look at their children and they think about the mistakes they made themselves, and when they see their kids headed the same way, they'll do just about anything to prevent it from happening again (so to speak). But it works both ways. She too should take a step back and realize the effect(s) of how she's dealing with this situation. But you're at a disadvantage because as a child, you're only given so much authority. From her viewpoint I'm sure she's thinking something to the effect of "I'm your mom and I know what's best for you". Take it from somebody who's been there, and made the WRONG decision. Getting into a yelling contest will only create an emotional distance and trust me you don't want that. She's your mom. She loves you dearly. Try to think of how much pain and suffering she went through to carry you for 9 months, to feed you, to clothe you, to aid you when you needed it.

My advice to you is this ; work on a WRITTEN PLAN OF ACTION on how you can get up on time. Maybe go to bed earlier, avoid caffeine at least 4 hours before bedtime, try to incorporate exercise into your daily activities, etc. All good things for your body, and it'll help you to get to sleep earlier, hence, you'll get up earlier.

One of my teachers once told me that if I really wanted to accomplish something, I should write it down. I never understood why that was. But when I started noticing a string of failures in my life, for whatever reason I remembered that tidbit of info. my grade 7 teacher gave me. Since then, whenever I have a goal I put it down to paper. It'll serve you as both a reminder of what you wanted to accomplish and as a kick in the butt to take the necessary steps to get the ball rolling when you see you haven't accomplished anything. There's nothing like seeing it in writing to give you that jolt to get down to business.

In the meantime....the next time you're feeing down about what's going on between your mother and you, or ANYTHING ELSE for that matter go somewhere safe and quiet. Grab a pen and some paper. Write down EVERYTHING that's on your mind about the situation (I'm not talking about your written plan of action - this is just a method of dealing with your emotions!). Write down EVERYTHING you're feeling. Write down EVERYTHING you want to say (but probably shouldn't). Get it all out. Think about all the things that make you angry or upset. Revise it. If you've missed anything, add to that letter. And when you're done....read it (not out loud, but instead...in your mind) and when you're done I assure you, you'll feel MUCH better. Then? Rip it up into a million shreds, and know that you've SAFELY expressed yourself without damaging your relationship with your mom.

Just make sure NOBODY ever sees what you write down. I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 2

Yes, you probably are depressed. If your Mom won't let you go to the doctor (she may not believe it), then go to Walmart and get a bottle of St. John's Wort. That is kind of a natural anti-depressant. Try that. You also probably don't like school and if you are being negative at school, you likely don't have many friends either. That will also make you not want to go to school. Start taking them today. Then make a list of the things that you haven't done that need attention. I bet your room is a mess. Start there. Tell yourself you are going to change. The sad fact is if you don't change, everything will stay the same. You will only get more unhappy. School is almost out. Use this summer to change. Lose a few pounds, get a new hairstyle, work for the neighbors and buy new clothes, paint your room, offer to do chores around the house, and make an effort not to fight with your Mom. Right now you feel out of control. Get in control and you will be amazed at how good you feel. Try it.

Answer 3

Two things - What time are you going to sleep? If you are not getting enough sleep, this is why you don't want to get up in the morning. Try going to bed an hour earlier and see if this helps.

Sounds like you need some help with your relationship with your mom. You could try talking to a guidance counselor at school or the pastor at your church.

Sometimes, wanting to sleep all the time can be a sign of depression, but I wouldn't assume this is the problem unless you have tried some other things first or have some other symptoms. And a certain amount of depression is natural for your age group, though I wouldn't let it go too far.

Answer 4

I had the same problem.
Simply this. Go to sleep earlier. You'll miss out on late night tv or parties a bit but you will feel better in the morning and wont feel lethargic. Also if you dont want to go to bed too early then eat less at night making sure your stomach is reasonably empty before you lay in as the digestion of food at night causes you sleep to be affected. It stops you from getting deep and so you cannot sleep efficiently.
If you cannot sleep well then you should either cut your responsibilty during the day(i.e. too much work causing constant thoguht) or do exercise during evenings(but not too close to bed time). The exercise will tire you out and cause your body to crash early and so you will get sufficient sleep.
The hidden cause of a lot of depressions is lack of sleep.
If not getting enough your brain doesnt upregulate enough serotonin receptors and you feel melancholy as a result.

It takes dicipline to break habits and to form new harder ones.
I hope this helps you.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Hey dude,what's up.Guess what,your a teenager.Seriously though if you contnue pattern you might flunk school.
Here's two tips.
1.Get to bed before eleven p.m,and make sure to drink two large glasses of water before you turn in.You will wake up needing to go to the toilet,and not fall back asleep
2.Eat plenty of green vegetables and red meat,as you are growing you body uses up iron/calcium real quick,leaving you feeling tired and listless.

Also say to your mom you love her now and again as they need to be reassured now and again.

Answer 7

have serious talks with your parents and friends about this. Any one that gets screemed and yelled at and almost constantly, will eventualy strike out in violence, just to get away from the irritations.
The talks will have to be in depth , and whole hearted sinsere.

If the parents will not tune in and listenen, seek professional help. You do not need violent irruptions,

Answer 8

my colleague's exactly the same... late every day because he just doesn't get out of bed. very frustrating... so he uses tricks like putting different alarm clocks around the room so he'll have to get out of bed to make them stop, and having routines - like making the bed once you're out, so you can't get back in etc. find something that'll work for you and everything else'll get easier (how the day begins hugely effects your mood)

Answer 9

i yell at my kids too, everymorning, they hate me, but its the only way i will stop yellin is if they got up and done what theyr supposed to do,
so set your alarm up early, put the volume up loud with some cool music on, heavy metal is good, .and that will get u in the mood for an exciting day, do what mum wants and there will b peace, rock on

Answer 10

in life you have to take responsibilites , grow up ... if you dont want your moom to complain please her by donig the right things ..... don't be depressed either there is a solution for every problem , every problem has its own solution