what would you ladies do if you had a acholic husband?

Answer 1

Do you mean, "What do I do with my alcoholic husband?" Well, it took me a while to figure out that only he can make the difference if he wants to stop being this way. My husband doesn't think he has a problem. And he thinks that he has it "under control". It hurts all of us. Our family, our friends, his friends. We are all victims of this terrible thing. I used to think that I could help him. I can't. He blames me instead of looking at the fact that I'm trying to help him save his life. He says I ruin his party and since every party has a pooper, I'm the pooper.

You know the saying: you can lead the horse to water - but you can't make him drink. It's the same if you were to take your husband to rehab - if he doesn't realize he has a problem... He won't change. My advice: Don't lose your marbles just because he decided to drink his away.

He has to want to help himself and want to change.

Answer 2

Open all of his unopened cans/bottles and empty them down the sink. Put a lock on the front door. Tell him you're fed up with the alcoholism. Call the police and have him picked up for public intoxication. He has to deal with it. Get a separation, it's his problem, not yours.

You can stay and try to work on it, but nothing will change until he admits he has a problem first. By leaving you take away his excuse that you're the problem. When he acknowledges he is the problem, it will be the first step to recovery.

You can't just say: you're a drunk, get some help. He has to say: I am a drunk, I need some help. Getting out of the way might help him reach this conclusion faster.

Don't give in when he tries the "honeymoon" stage of pretending to quit, he has to "show an effort" by attending some kind of rehab, counseling, etc. for longer than 6 months. Stand your ground.

If he wants help, he'll do everything it takes. Alcoholism is never a healthy habit or part of a healthy relationship.

Answer 3

Its easy to leave when things are not going right in a marriage. I would first look at the big picture, what happened along the way that got him to this point; stress at home or work. The overwhelming responsibilities that men have as husbands, fathers, providers, and leaders of a family. I would look at how I could support him in getting help from an AA counselor and individual help for his self-esteem and other issues he is having internally. I would look at myself to see if I contributed to his issues such as complained about stupid things, expect him to work a full time job and come home to clean and cook...(there are some wife's who are lazy and the husbands have to do this). I would stand behind him and be his motivator!

Answer 4

I do have an alcoholic husband. I left him 4 years ago. We had been married for 18 yrs. We moved from the states to up north with his family. I was outnumbered by enabling family. It got worse and I went to Al anon. I was scared to leave him , I loved him. I thought leaving would have shaken him but it didnt. Instead he continues to live up north . And to boot a " past coworker of his, from here in the states decided to make her move right after I left and has been his longdistance girlfriend ever since. I am in the begining process of the divorce. I asked so many times for him to get help until I realized he was not going to. I'm sure this person is pumping him up, etc . I hoped against hope, prayed and see now that one has to live with decisions. Make your case to him . It is a very hard choice to make and be prepared one way or another and dont blame yourself ; I have spent to much time doing that. pray...

Answer 5

I already have one. We've been married for 4 yrs with two small kids. He tells me hes like any other normal guy out there who drinks too and its "Normal"(obviously its not). I always ask him to let go just a bit of the alcohol, or to go a to AA meating, He says if I don't like it than I can leave. I tried talking some sence into him for the past 4 yrs, and nothing. So I will leave and just be strong. No Alcoholic deserves anything good. Especially when they don't want it. And I'm not going to waste no more time.

Answer 6

You need to set a limit of how much you and your family can take. Talk to him and let him know that this is as far as you are going to go and if doesn't want to seek help for himself, then you can no longer be there. Let him know that you love him and that you will help him, but he needs to stop now or else. It took a major tragedy in my marriage for my husband to realize what he was doing to us. We lost some very close friends over his actions. He stopped on his own, but I told him if he picked up another drink I was gone.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you and your family.

Answer 7

I would never marry an alcoholic (or date an alcoholic for that matter) I also would never date or marry anyone who:
smoked
did drugs
gambled
unemployed
was divorced
had children out of wedlock
was a religious nut
was more than 5 years young or older than me
Why ask for problems? Life is hard enough

Answer 8

You people won't like this, but I don't have enough details.

Does he mistreat you, the kids? Is he abusive? Does he waste all the family money on booze? Does he not help around the house...... just always drunk? Is he not able to hold down a job? Stays out until weee hours?

Some people like to drink and it is only a problem if any of the above is going on.

Answer 9

There's a lot you left out. Are you reaching out? does he hurt you, mentally, physically?
Does he spend the paycheck? so much to talk about.

This is going to start a feud but he will need help if he already doesn't. Get him into A.A. and find someone in the area to help support him with his help.

Answer 10

I assume he became an alcoholic AFTER getting married, 'cause otherwise a woman marrying an alcoholic would be TOTALLY INSANE. What would I do if I found out my husband became an alcoholic? DUMP HIM. RIGHT AWAY.