I'm 24m I love a married woman with a child. She love me (i think) but she says she doesn't know what to do

Question

Ok 4 alittle background. We have been friends 4 almost 9 yrs but never dated. We did mess around a few diffrent times but nothing ever developed. She has only been married for a little less then a yr. It was a very quick engagment do to the fact she got pregnant. When she bacame pregnant she moved to where he lives (about 2 hours away) ever since then we have talked on the phone at least 4 times a week, we e-mail each other on the days we dont talk. So what i am needing help with is, the moral part of this. I have loved her for years, she is in a marrige she all but claims is loveless and I am in the position of her best-friend. Do I try to help her with the marrige & tear apart my own heart or should I tell her to leave him and cause her and her daughter the pain of a divorce or should I say nothing and tell her i am staying out of it (even though I am already hearing all about the bad stuff in the marrige. PLEASE HELP ME
THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Answer 1

She must figure this out on her own. From what I understand (and this is a woman's point of view), she must be aware by now that you are in love with her. Believe me, women know these things. She is feeling insecure in her marriage, and she seems to want YOU to make her feel special and lovable. Do not fall into this trap. She sounds like a confused woman who will hurt you deeply, if she has not done this already. I am not saying that she will hurt you intentionally but, you are her way of feeling better and I am suspecting she is using your emotions, to feel better. My advice is stop being her friend. Stop calling her or emailing her for a month or so. If she decides to get a divorce let her decide it on her own, because if you convince her to get a divorce, she will always blame you for that decision. Tell he she must decide on her own, and if it is meant to be she will come to you. You must try to get on with your life without her... she is like a drug for you and drugs can be very harmful.

Answer 2

I can only speak from my own situation.A little background.I was a waiter and bartender at this club. She became one of my regulars. I always noticed the ring on her finger, but she never once came in with her husband. So after a few months of flirting, I stepped to her. She was in the same situation your woman's in right now. Without going into detail, one thing led to another & I ended up really loving this woman(still do). Now getting back to your problem, does she know that you're in love with her? Also, if she does get a divorce, would you want her to be with you? Would you ready to deal with everything that would come with that, AND I MEAN EVVERYTHING!!? Anyone & everyone else would probably tell you that you deserve better, but all you can do is follow your heart. If your heart's telling you to see this through, then you do that. As far as her, if she wanted to leave she'd already be gone. If she feels her marraige is loveless, there's nothing you can do or say to make her feel otherwise.

Answer 3

No! No! No! Do NOT get involved with a married person. It is always a bad idea no matter what the circumstances. You stay completely out of it. If she wants to get a divorce she will. Don't you have any part of it. If you're concerned about the "moral part" as you say, you will stay out of it. If she wants to be involved with you she should end one thing and then start another.

Answer 4

Stop interfering in her matrimonial life; you have no right to do so. What where your relationship with her before her marriage is now forgotten past. She has a child & husband to care about, why you want to poke your nose in their affairs, whether good or bad, let her handle her case herself. If you insist on your interference & she moves out of her marriage, you yourself will not accept her with a child of some one else which is most commonly seen in such cases. At least with her husband she has a father for her child, with you what she'll have only sexlife with you, & what about her child? So best ignore her, tell her to mind her own business now & you find another suitable lady & get married.

Answer 5

You are the best friend, 9 yrs, if it was meant to be she would have married you years ago, if she were to marry you, shed have another male friend to lean on and when you and her have trouble she'll pour it out to him, and the cycle continues. Plus you'd never truely trust her, she cheats on him with you, you'd believe shed do the same to you? You are only her shoulder to lean on and thats it...........You DESERVE better, shes not emotionally ready to be in a relationship, tell her now that even if she left her hubby you wont date her, she wants to jump the ship but not without security, knowing her and her daughter and jump back in the care of another man,,dont be that man..........

Answer 6

Honour her vows & just remain her friend for now. Things might change in the future & if fate allows you just might be together.
She has a child to think about as well as her marital responsibilities & if things were to happen between you both now while she is in two minds, you both might end up losing out on the best part of it all...your friendship.
Patience is the key. be a good mate & hang back while things sort themselves out.

Answer 7

Your "friend" should get a spine and decide what she wants to do. Don't encourage her either way, because this is HER life and she needs to make her own decisions. The best thing you can do is let her know how you feel. Period. Then she should make up her own mind. Step back.

Answer 8

Hey...another classic q! Plain answer: DONT MINGLE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S MARRIAGE! It is none of ur business. She should has married u IF she loves u! Did she? NO, she didnt. Instead she got herself pregnant with other guy...and now she's saying that she is loveless....What a crap!!! DONT try to act as marriage councellor!!! And dont even think of justifying ur act, because it is WRONG, VERY WRONGGGG!

Answer 9

particular that's available. It ability that she became into no longer waiting to have a new child & needed to attend till she became into. of direction as somebody who has had a woman do this to Me, that's totally perplexing to recover from counting on how lots time the guy spent getting emotionally related to the new child interior the womb. various it particularly has to do with how lots time the lady thinks with regard to the area. In my case their became into one arguement & then she aborted our new child with in 40 8 hours. on no account apologizing approximately it as quickly as. And it became into approximately to the factor that if she might have waited from now on it could have been seen a partial delivery abortion. in fact they surpassed that regulation approximately partial delivery abortions afterwards. She became into pregant for fairly much 18 weeks. And in some international locations in Europe you won't be in a position to get a criminal abortion after 12 weeks. and various evaluate them to be extra for abortion rights than we are interior the united statesA.

Answer 10

Leave her alone! u r only 24 still 42 years of life is ahead! she has a responsibility called Child and Husband.

If you can keep her u are initially happy!
later you are not!
Because you will carry the
Present unhappiness of "Her", "Her Child" and "Her Husband" will slowly get transferred to your head.

i.e. today you are only a headache to yourself.
later all other headaches will land on your head


So! LEAVE AND LIVE!