My husband keeps on pledging his rings etc and when I ask him he says that he has pledged for helping his friends. I don't understand will it be true. He has drawn cash using Addon card nearly Rs.6,000/- and he says that one or two labours working in his office had asked for money. He himself earns very less salary when it is so why shud he go out of his way to help others like this. Can this be true. If he does again and again like this what can I do? I am at a loss to understand. Sometimes he borrows money from me when he runs out of pocket and I used to give him since he earns less his contribution for household expenses is also less. I always used to ask when u yourself don't earn much why shud you go out of your way to help others. I really dont' want to leave with him this has been going on for the past 3 yrs he never listens to me and when ever I ask he says lies to me. How can I opt for a divorce out of court. pls somebody suggest. No court pls.
2007-05-14 19:29:50 · 9 answers · asked by janu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No children yet . 3 years of marriage. His only answer to my question is that he has got property . He will borrow money for all these things from his house. He seems to be very irresponsible.
2007-05-14 19:31:25 · update #1
What kind of an attitude is this. He says that it is my jewels so do not question me. He had even pledged my jewels . But now I have given to my sister to keep it safely being afraid of him.
2007-05-14 19:39:37 · update #2
2 years before only he did the above thing and there was a debt of nearly Rs.30,000/- and I cleared the debts. My people and his people came to know about this and my people decided that let him be given another chance to err is human but inspite of that if he does like this what does this mean. Doesn't this show his irresponsibility.
2007-05-14 19:46:02 · update #3
he says that I am affectionate towards u is that not enough. Whatever u want I am buying for you according to my capacity. But is this called affection when he hurts me on the other side by his deeds
2007-05-14 20:39:47 · update #4
For a legal form of divorce you'll have go in for divorce through court. There is no such thing as out of court divorce, if any one told you about this rest assure he is making fool of you & extracting money from you just for nothing. After all neither the Government in the form legislature or judiciary nor the people of the country fools who go by a legal process that has been provided in the statues regarding divorce etc. Yes I can guide you how to get divorce in an easy way through court, but don't say you can get legal divorce out side court. Be practical in life & talk like an educated person which you are, hence asked this question here.
2007-05-14 19:53:27 · answer #1 · answered by vijay m Indian Lawyer 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are some nut cases like this - if its just his spending habit that you are bothered off do not think of divorce take him to some counsellors, psyciatrists to brainwash him!!
Its easy to think and speak of a Divorce - but life isn't easy!!
Or is it because of a supiriority comlex that yo have since you probably earn more than him that you are thinking of marrying someone earning more than you, or have you got someone?
Try your best to not break your family try getting him corrected and even then not possible then go for the extreme step - but then that shoudl be the last option.!!
Especially if you are an Indian the court processes are so damn lengthy and curropt that you might end up spending your entire life time getting a divorce and then later there is that social stigm which you would have to bear and again in Indian society probably being a divorcee you might get a new affair/relationship but then marriage would be next to impossible for a divorcee. even if you get another groom probably another Divorcee there must have been something wrong with him too rt that his wife left him or if you get a Widower - he probably must be marrying you either for your money or as a Governess for his kids or a sex object on his bed!!
So think twice before you decide!!
Again to legalise a divorce you need to go to court and there is no other option else if you are lucky and you get some other man - your husband as long as your divorce is not legalised could harass you legaly for adultry and bigamy!!
2007-05-16 07:18:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No dual thoughts! He is on a wrong path. He is a gambler. He keeps losing his monies. As long support is available he continues to gamble (Juwari hai madam!). 1st wrong step led to second wrong step "Lies". It is agonising now. Slowly it grows into irritation. He is suffering from infereirty complex, since he is earning less. he wants to show off, to avoid his own infereority complex. Now you have to save your marriage. Except these money matters, you have not reported any abnormolities with him. So I think he is good to you in all other areas except this. Right?
So, now you take a family counselor (professional couselor please) into confidence and he will tell you how to change him. counselor will also help you directly in moulding him in about 3 to 5 sittings over a period of 4 - 5 months. He will definitely change, to your expectations.
This is life. We got to live. If we have a problem in any part of our body, we don't just cut it out. In a marriage you have a problem. It is curable. His infereiroty complex is making all his mistakes, but it is not real "him". Get the real one out of your husband. Life will be happy. You will never need to think of Divorce, if only you can take small problem out of his mind.
Good Luck and Happy Married Life!!!!!!
2007-05-16 16:50:17 · answer #3 · answered by auditorsudhakar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are ready for divorcing him for this you really do not love him nor you ever did. Such a silly thing called money is messing up your life. Stop being a pest and try to find out what he is doing with the money. if you don't believe him. confront him with evidence. Stop loaning money to him.
If you find that he has another woman on the side and he needs money for her then you can divorce him either in court or out of court it is up to you. First try to reason and then snoop, collect evidence, then confront and then decide if you want to divorce him.
2007-05-14 19:38:32 · answer #4 · answered by nice guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi dear,
by now am sure u too have got the fact,yaa thats right,he is no money lender so its simply your hard earned money is being used for negative purposes to satisfy ur husband's pleasure.U have to do something and do it fast.if this goes on it wont be far when u wud be bankrupted with a thousand debt.just clarify to him ur mind and if he insists,take legal steps.I am not sure weather u can get a divorce without going to the court,but u can contact a lawer for further details.
2007-05-18 01:45:56 · answer #5 · answered by debosom_sengupta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are married and your husband is not being financially forthcoming with you. This sounds very suspicious to me.
2007-05-14 19:42:14 · answer #6 · answered by Theodore H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid of the loser before you end up supporting him for the rest of your life!
2007-05-14 20:30:17 · answer #7 · answered by Barticus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has a gambling problem or something
2007-05-14 19:52:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not reliable. Tell softly once & for all to stop bluffing & be a good man for u, please.
2007-05-14 21:24:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋