I am 25 years old. I moved away from home at 18. I have made some bad choices that got me in some sticky situations. I have since put my life on the right track and am doing well. I got married, I am in college (my career will pay between 30 and 50$ per hour) And I am taking good care of my children and myself. But my family has continued to be negative about every decision I make. For example, when I found out it was going to take me an extra two years to finish school, they insisted I quit and just "get a job" like a normal person! They think I am spending too much time in school. But it doesn't end there!!! How can i get them to be more positive towards me and my siblings?
2007-05-14 19:18:59 · 15 answers · asked by trehuginhipee 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It is very unfortunate when that people who "should" be on your side are not. Negativity is such a vicious and dreadful way to exist, and actually I feel really bad for those who do
live this way. You sound like you are doing great, putting your past behind you and moving on (and at a relatively young age, some don't ever "get" it), putting in place positive things for you and your family. I say go for it girl!!! To hell with the lot of them. The very unfortunate thing about all this family negativity is that, the same with everyone else, is literally there is nothing you can do to "change" their ways, it just doesn't work, no matter how hard you try! The best thing you can do is to continue being positive, happy, and healthy (emotional as well as regular), and continue making the decisions that you feel appropriate. Its my opinion that your successes will be the best way to "show" them what positive thinking can do...maybe then they will "get it".
Best of Luck!
2007-05-14 19:35:25 · answer #1 · answered by Maggie B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think is a question of TRUST..
You have some how make them losses trust on you.
They most probably think that you will not do well and would drop up fairly quickly.. and why not just stop now and get a job.
In between lines as much as it is negative, it could also be that they deleberately do it so that you can feel the impact and perhaps proof them wrong. I am sure if you proof them wrong, they will be very very happy for you.. and you will gain their trust.
At this moment just take it as a oinch of salt and continue in doing with what you are doing now..
take care..
2007-05-15 03:26:02 · answer #2 · answered by trymejames 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prove them wrong. There's absolutely nothing wrong for being in school. By hearing you, I don't think you have been making bad decisions either. It's rather typical sometimes when your families being more critical on your decisions. Give yourself some times. Focus on what you have been doing. Once they are able to see what you have acheive they will eventually understand. If they don't understand, it's not your problems. It's their problems. If you know you are doing the right thing, then your families just have to be more understanding.
2007-05-15 02:26:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People have a tendency to want to suppress the success of another in order ensure they do not feel inadequate. This all comes back the the primordial brain. It makes people act on instinct.
I say that you are on the right track. Receive their criticism with a smile and ward of their angriness with hugs and love. Sounds corny, but it works. At the end of the day you will feel better about the whole situation and they will too.
Remember we are responsible for our own success. You are doing what you love. And being happy in the workplace will reap rewards later on in life. You will feel hapier in your own home.
You will see that after you graduate and start working peoples attitudes will change. People cannot always see the future like you do. It is important to explain it to them.
Continue living your dream. You are entitled to it. Live for your wife and children, they are your legacy!
2007-05-15 02:29:55 · answer #4 · answered by Dinkum 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had this problem with my mother. It wasn't directed toward me so much as my brother. She thought every decision he made in his life was wrong--and SHE was wrong about every one of them, as his life is going great.The thing is, she didn't realize she was doing it. She'd gotten into the habit of naysaying based on his past bad decisions. Once I called her on it, she kept her negative comments to herslf from then on.
Maybe if you just point out to them how negative they've become and how your decisions have improved, they'll realize what they're doing.
If they don't, I'm afraid the best you can do is just ignore them.
Either way, hang in there. It sounds like you have a very bright future ahead of you.
2007-05-15 02:27:41 · answer #5 · answered by Alice K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot get anyone else to be "anything"...you can only be positive yourself and hope it rubs off. If you maintain a positive and optimistic outlook on life, your family will eventually agree with you, or look terribly silly and immature in their quest to bring you down. Ignore negative comments and continue delivering positive ones...it may be difficult at first, but if your family is smart enough, or emotionally intelligent to any degree, they will get the message. Good luck!
2007-05-15 02:25:38 · answer #6 · answered by Star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change them, just learn to tune them out. As they brought you up and have conditioned you to listen to them, this will be hard. But ignore them, do what you are doing. Deep down you know that if you do what they want, you will be unhappy. This is your life, not theirs. And besides, they will probably harp on about you not finishing school if you take their (bad) advice. They are trying to browbeat you. Don't let them.
You are young and apparently smart - you are putting yourself on the right track. Hang in there. You cannot change them though.
2007-05-15 02:26:14 · answer #7 · answered by slipstreamer 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
unfortunately you cant make them do anything they arent willing to do... by the sounds of it sadly this is just their personality. try not to let it get you down so much as long as u are happy then dont worry what others say. It is your life and only you have the right to make the decisions yourself..........
2007-05-15 02:24:28 · answer #8 · answered by littlemisssaigon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck darlin', some families just suck. If they are not going to be supportive than I suggest you just be too busy with your life and the family you've created to give them much time to criticize you.
You can't change anyone, so limit your contact with negativity as it is just two draining.
2007-05-15 02:24:12 · answer #9 · answered by carmen d 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are 25, you are old enough to make your own decisions without having your parents interfere with your goals. It will take time for them to stop feeling negative with you because they want to see results. Prove them wrong about you.
2007-05-15 02:24:11 · answer #10 · answered by Go For Broke 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋