Daughter passed away at 1 day old due to unknown causes..want to know why!?

Question

Last August I gave birth to a 5 pound 3 ounce baby girl,Nevaeh, 7 weeks premature. She was born, basically brain dead and was on life support for about 12 hours before I asked to have her taken off(Dr.'s recommendation and personal choice). During my entire pregnancy I did not do street drugs, I did not smoke or drink alcohol. I did however take Paxil for about 3 months of my pregnancy as I was told it was safe. I also took Xanax during the first month and a half as the inital doctor I went to never told me to stop. However, I was told neither of these were the cause of her state at birth. Nothing was ever irregular during my ultrasounds, her heartbeat was normal, she was at a fairly normal weight(a little low, up until the last month of my pregnancy). I want to know if anyone has any idea why this would happen? I also was very sick during my pregnancy and had about 20 fainting spells. If you wnt more details I'll give them to you, but this seems to haunt me daily.

Answer 1

Even with advance technology many things about pregnancy are still a mystery. Pregnancy is a very complicated process and so many things can go wrong, through no failure our own.
It's normal for you to want to know why. However, you may never know. It will get better in time, I promise. Time never heals wounds but tends to soften them.
When I was pregnant with my second child, my water broke at 24 weeks. No one could give me a reason. My son died 45 minutes later. The doctors told me he was to young to be admited to any NICU around. I spent alot of time wondering why, was it something I did? Had I gone to a different hospital would things have been different?But I came to accept that sometimes bad things happen and it isn't any ones fault.

Answer 2

First off, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine how you deal with this. God bless you.
I have to agree with Chaos, Dr. have absolutely no training in the effects of drugs. I did some research and found that the person you should ask about drugs while you are pregnant is actually a pediatrician becuase they can tell you how your baby can be affected becuase they specialize in baby's. My Dr. tells me to go ahead and take Clarinex,Claritin, Tylenol, Sudafed, Nexium, and all other acid reflux meds. I have not taken ANYTHING becuase my theory is this, if you cannot give it to newborn baby, then you should not take it! Tylenol is just about the only thing that has proven to be safe during pregnancy, and even that shouldn't be abused.
Please know this, you are not an expert, and you are in NO WAY responsible for what happend to your baby. I did do some research for you and found that Paxil is VERY dangerous to a fetus. Go to http://www.schmidtandclark.com/Paxil/ for more info on what I found. I also looked up the effectes of Xanax, and also found that it can cause potential damageto the fetus. Go to http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/xanax-xr_wcp.htm
I hope I helped in some way. My guess would be that the meds you took were the problem. I think you will never fully recover from this terrible experience, but YOU did nothing wrong! You need to know that! In fact, I would even see what can be done with the Dr. who allowed you to continue to take those meds because who knows how many other women he/she will do the same thing to.

Answer 3

I guess you might have a lot of uncertainties that resides in you that urges you to ask this question after all this time. In life, we have to accept the fact that what passed had passed and there is nothing more that we can do except to learn from what and where we had failed. Sometimes when we look back, we regret on what we had done and blame ourselves that you should not had done this and that. But give ourselves a break, whatever decision that we have made; it was made based on our best judgment at that particular time. As times passes by and we become more mature and we tend to look at same situation thing differently. It is not fair for the present-self to blame the old-self as the present-self learns from the old-self.

You were doing your very best during your pregnancy and had done whatever you could through whatever means. It is just too bad if something still went wrong somewhere. May be you should nobe asking why you suffer the lost of your baby, instead, you should ask how you can be a better person or mother in days to come.

Lastly, I believe all babies will go to heaven if they don’t get to see the world. Be strong and take good care of yourself and you will be a great mother in no time.

Answer 4

The fact that your late daughter was premature indicates something did not go right in development of the brain. Since she was premature, this could have been the response by your body to let the baby loose because something went wrong. During development in the womb, the brain starts to have many neurons connect and start to work but if something of the brain is out of the ordinary then the baby and your body will abort sustaining this new life.

I am very sorry for your loss, my mother had something happen to her years ago. I wish you the best and just try for another. I cannot tell you exactly went wrong because I am not a doctor but I do know that Xanax would not cause it as well as Paxil. Again, sorry for your loss.

Answer 5

Oh honey, I can't imagine being in your shoes... it must hurt so much. And after the death of your child, it's natural that you're questioning every little thing that you did or didn't do during the pregnancy. But sometimes things just happen for no good explanation, and there is nothing we could have done to prevent it.

It has to be difficult not to try and blame yourself. Any mother would do the same. But you will only drive yourself into a deep, dark place if you continue on that path. Concentrate on healing instead. I wish I had an answer as to "why" this happened, but I don't. I can just wish that you will someday have the peace in knowing that this WAS NOT your fault.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss!! I wouldn't try to blame any of this on the doctors because they would have told you if the medications should not be taken. Being born at almost two months early is probably why this happened. There are so many parts of an unborn child that need to be developed still at that stage of the pregnancy. Other than that I, nor anyone else can really tell you why. My heart does go out to you though, and best wishes in coping.

Answer 7

I feel so bad for you and your loss!!! I had the same thing happen with my third child. My wife did not carry to term however and had to have the dead baby removed (I forget what this is called). I CAN tell you that I have researched Paxil HEAVILY since this has happened and I have found some very very very very bad things about this drug! NEVER TAKE IT AGAIN! My wife was given Paxil for severe depressions about 1 year before this happened. The drug TOTALLY CHANGED HER FOREVER!! She is NOT the same person she was. They gave her 5 times the recommended dose that they give now because it was a fairly new drug. They don't test them enough anymore! They just push them out and don't care so long as they're getting their money! I'm so mad about this!! I feel so bad for you. This shouldn't have happened! Please, please, please, please!!! NEVER EVER EVER TAKE PAXIL AGAIN!
In response to other peoples posts let me just say that the doctors have NO IDEA what these drugs really do. They don't get ANY training on them. They just get the information from the drug company and the drug company only gives the information they want to give. I have researched Paxil extensively and I can't stress enough the EVIL this drug has caused!

Answer 8

I'm sorry you lost your daughter. I've been in your shoes and nothing can take away the pain except time. Babies that premature have a hard time making it throught the delivery process sometimes. My daughter also lost a baby at 1 day old full term healthy,born brain dead,off life support the next day when we found out. Sometimes the umbilical cord collapses and blood / oxygen can't get to the baby-alot of reasons. You did nothing wrong my friend. Hold close the memory of your little girl-don't forget her- for she is gathered in the arms of the Angels.

Answer 9

I'm so sorry for your loss and you are in my prayers.
I would double check on both drugs, because new findings and class action lawsuits on prescription drugs seem to come forth on a regular basis.

I just did a quick Yahoo search ("Paxil dangers") and this is one (among others) of the sites which address Paxil and pregnancy.

www.weitzlux.com/paxil/dangersforpregnantwomen_14813.html

I'm recommending this because it may help you get some answers and find some sort of closure. As far as lawsuits go, there is absolutely no dollar amount which can be placed on a precious human life; but I also believe that drug makers need to be held accountable for their actions and negligence.

I hope this helps.

Answer 10

I dont have the answer to your question I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for your loss. I have an 11 month old and I just cannot imagine the pain your must have felt. Stay strong and again I am so sorry for your loss.
Maybe you should speak to a lawyer, because I have seen several commercials about Paxil and being pregnant. Maybe the Doctors are just trying to avoid being sued. Talk to a malpractice lawyer, just an idea it may help you get some closure.