I love my wife but I spend alot time with a female friend should I feel guilty?

Question

me and my wife have great sex but that's all we have in common. me and my friend have everthing in common

Answer 1

Yep, a successful relationship is based on much more than sex. You have to have the art of good, honest communication as well. Your wife should be your best friend as well.....your intellectual/emotional and sexual equal. If you love your wife, but find the only thing you have in common with her is sex, then work out a way to change it. Think about what this other girl gives you that your wife doesnt. If you need stimulating conversation, if you want to have similar interests, then what is stopping your wife from having the same things this girl gives you. Unless your wife is a moron, she is quite capable of having an intelligent conversation with you....have you ever broached that subject with her....have you ever given her the opportunity to show that side of her? If she doesnt share the same interests as you, then change it. Talk to her, tell her that you would like to do more things together. Just be honest with her...tell her what you think is lacking in the marriage and give her an opportunity to change it. I guess it all depends on how much you want to keep your marriage together. Your wife can be everything this other girl is to you, you just have to give her the chance, and the only way that can happen is to talk to her honestly. There will come a time when the sex wont be enough and this other girl will end up meaning more to you than your wife. Its time to decide if you want a better relationship with your wife, or take the easy way out and find what is lacking in your relationship with someone else.

You are torn, and you arent doing your wife any favours by being with this other woman. If you only want your wife on a part-time basis, then do her a favour and set her free so she will be able to be everything to someone else.....she will be able to have everything in common with someone else because there is someone else out there who she will be able to connect with at every level. Maybe the sad fact is that you are just not compatible with each other. You need to decide where you want to be and work towards leaving your wife or else working on ways to improve your relationship.

Good luck

Answer 2

You should feel guilty as it amounts to cheating her. Having a great sex alone does not mean that you love your wife. At the same time if you spend lot of time with your gf (and enjoy as well) means it is something more than friendship. To say you have everything common with your friend indirectly suggests that you have nothing or very less (except great sex!) common with your wife. No marriage can survive only on sex and also if you have nothing common except sex.

Answer 3

Joshua, great name by the way.... Why did you get married so young if you were not head over heels in love with your wife? Marriage takes work and too many people take the easy road which is divorce or checking out mentally.

Talk with your wife and tell her how you feel and tell her about the other woman as well. Sometimes it helps to get a kick in the pants to wake up. Maybe you will see that your wife still has all the qualities that you married her for. Good luck Joshua

Answer 4

You have done the right thing by rejecting her offer. As a friend you must make efforts to resolve the issue by talking to both of them and acting like a bridge. You have to do it tactfully enough. This girl may not be in love with you but has found in you a good and sympathetic listener. The reason for the differences between two of them are not still clear. Her argument that her husband does not love you seems to emanate from the understanding that there has to be love between the newly married couple from the word go. But love and romance are different. At times love does not come just by marrying each other or living together for some short duration. It has to be planted and groomed carefully through being considerate and respectful to each other. Our parents in the good old days used to live together without knowing each other before marriage and were experts in nurturing love by living together, having children and sharing the responsibilities in growing them up. You must advise them to show some tolerance towards each other and try to bridge their differences by talking about the issues. If at all they find that they can not bridge the gap, they must take a decision to separate.

Answer 5

I have heard many therapists say that purely platonic relationships between men and women are very rare to achieve. You are putting yourself in a very bad situation because a very close mental and emotional relationship can often lead to deeper feelings and ultimately sexual feelings for the other person. I don't think that you should feel guilty, but I do think that you need to distance yourself from this other woman. You and your wife need to work to create a closer bond and hopefully find more in common with each other. I hope that things work out for the best for you and the other women involved.

Answer 6

Yes, actually what you are doing is wrong. You are having an "emotional affair". How would you feel if your wife said that all she had in common with you was sex but had everything else in common with another man. You and your wife need to spend time building up your relationship. Surely you once had more than just sex in common with her if you decided to spend the rest of your life with her. Try to get back in touch with that.

Right now you might be feeling closer and closer to this other woman and disappointed with your wife. But if you left your wife for this new woman in time you and her would surely have your own set of problems. Possible the sex with her would not sizzle as it does with your wife and you would be disappointed in this. Its never going to be perfect. All of us married folk need to stay focused on the good that is in our mate and try to be grateful. Good luck my friend.

Answer 7

You are committing emotional infidelity. There is a book of that name ("Emotional Infidelity" by M. Gary Neuman) that explains just what this is and how to correct it. You will disrespect yourself more and more, in addition to your wife, if you keep doing this because you are not keeping your word, your vow. The question you ask, "should I feel guilty?" says it all. Yes, you should and you should cut off this escapist friendship and not renew it. Grow up. Selfishness is only cute in little babies. And do you really think you have everything in common with this "friend?" Like what, that you're both double-dealing sneaks? You like a woman who knows you will cheat on her if she ever gets serious about you? Is this just your way of saying you're immature and you can never be trusted to keep your word? Slap yourself upside the head for me, would you?

Answer 8

The anwser is yes. There is a book called THe five languages of love byGary Chapman It will help you with your wife. The problem is if you and your wife are not spending enough time together then there is a chance that you will become more intimate with the other woman. It is imperative that you spend more time with the woman that you took your vows to.

Answer 9

You should talk to your wife and see how she feels about the time you spend with your friend. You ARE putting your self in a bad spot by spending all this time with your friend, especially if you say you have more in common with her than your wife.

Answer 10

Yes you should feel guilty. It takes more then great sex to keep a marriage together. Try doing fun things with your wife , not just sex. Compromise with her, women like to feel special not ignored. Be careful your playing with fire. Leave your friend alone if you truly love your wife.