How do you continue life after your best friend dies at age 13?

Question

she was the best person ever

i wanted to say thanks for all the answers im better now and will follow your advise

Answer 1

You get over it. I know this sounds harsh but it's the truth. If you don't get over it, it will drag you down.

I know. I've been there. When I was much younger (disclosure: I'm old enough to be your father and maybe your grandfather), I lost several friends between the ages of 12 and 20. One was my girlfriend.

It's difficult but you take it one day at a time. If that's too hard, then you take it one hour at a time. If that's too hard, then one minute or one second. If you survived one second, you can do it again. Eventually the minutes add to hour which add to days.

Eventually the hurt and sadness will begin to go away. A little at first but more as time goes on. It's not a fast and easy process. It takes time. I still think of my gf at least once a week and it's been 37 years (opps, there goes my age). For the longest time I thought about her everyday.

But my thoughts were good thoughts. I thought about the great times we had together.

You learn from this. You learn that you are not immortal and that stuff can happen to you. (Most young people thing they will live forever and that stuff never happens to them.) You learn to appreciate everyday and that life is precious. You learn that you need to do it today, because you might not be able to do it tomorrow.

Don't let her memory bring you down. She wouldn't want that. Turn this sad event into something positive and learn from it.

Keep her in your memory and hold her close to your heart. Although I have a wonderful gf I still have a special place in my heart for the one person I lost so long ago. There's nothing wrong with that if you keep things in perspective.

I also suggest some grief counseling. There are many support groups out there. Or talk to others that knew this person or have had to undergo a similar experience.

Unfortunately most of them will be adults and adults (I'm one of them) have a habit of forgetting what it's like to be young. But try to find some help.

Wishing you well.

Answer 2

Let her memory become a part of your life, keep her close to your heart. Remember all the good times you had and keep her memory alive by sharing those things with your other friends and family, or any one that knew her. Honour her by doing all those things you used to do together that now you have to do for the both of you. Try new things, knowing you are doing it for both of you, I am sure she would want that.
You say she was the best person ever, and your best friend. As your best friend she wouldn't want you to stop having fun, or laughing, or just being you.
It's okay to miss her and be sad, and it hurts so much. Don't be afraid to talk to her, either in your head, or even out loud when you're alone. That's not weird and sometimes it just makes a person feel better. Or maybe sit down and write her a letter telling her what you've been up to and how much you miss her. And it is okay to cry, we all do it, and personally, I feel better after a good one from time to time.
Things will get better but it will take time and the pain does stop being so sharp. Have some patience and be good to yourself.

Answer 3

Don't go to school tomorrow. A girl I never got the chance to get to know died Monday of skin cancer. She was only 11. Everyone at school is upset, but it's life. You have to let it go, no matter how much it hurts. He is dead, and you can't change it. He wouldn't want you to waste your life crying over him. You've seen how quickly life can be taken away. Live every moment as if it where your last. You have wonderful memories you can look back on now. Be glad that you've had such a wonderful friend. Write letters to him if it makes you feel better. He's always with you.

Answer 4

Think about it this way. If it was switched around and you were the one that passed, (sorry it's kind of creepy), how would you want your friend to act? Would you want her to be all sad and depressed all the time or would you want her to be happy and remember all the good times you guys had?

It's okay to mourn and feel bad for a while, but just think that you were lucky enough to have known her and now you can act like she would want you to. It will take time, trust me, I know. But like the quote says, "time heals all wounds".

I hope this helps, maybe only a little. But honestly, you just need to keep moving forward. Use her as your motivation to be the best you can be. Be friends with everyone for her. Do your best in school for her. Then when you succeed it will feel as if she is still with you!!

Answer 5

I know it's so unimaginably hard, and the people who love you will try everything to make you feel better. Try not to get angry or impatient with them, though, because they're just trying to help you. Really, I've found that only time can make it easier. But in the meantime, remember how much your friend would want you to go on. The most loving and respectful tribute you can make to her is to live your life to the fullest by achieving and enjoying everything she is not able to. You are so young, you can shape your future into anything you want to. So when you're ready to start dreaming again, dream big. And if you feel like she's watching, make her proud. All the best to you.

Answer 6

If she could come back to see you one more time, what do you think she would tell you?

She would tell you to be happy and thank you for your friendship and all the good times you had together. She wouldn't want you to be depressed and sad all the time.

Remember that we are never guaranteed a tomorrow and we need to make the best of each day so remember the good times you shared and give thanks for having such a good friend. Go out and make new friends to help you fill the void. This experience will help you to help someone later in life when they are hurt by the loss of someone they cared about.

Keeping you in prayer :)

Answer 7

Take it one day at a time - remember all the great things about your friend, but also remember that he/she would not want you to stop living your life. What things did you want to accomplish together? Work on those things just the same - your friend is up there looking down on you and watching over you, so go out and make them proud. God Bless - I hope your heart heals soon.

Answer 8

I lost a good friend of mine when we were both 13 years old, That was 40 years ago. I still think of Randy from time to time and all I do is remember the good things and fun we had as kids. Its not easy by any means, but as time goes by it gets a littel easyer everyday.
The main thing is take it one day at a time, and remember this, just because your friend is no longer here they still are your friend.

My high school class had out 30 year reunion a few years ago and at it we sat around and remembered our classmates who are no longer with us. Its sad but at the same time it is a happy time because you get to pay respect with others who knew your friend!

Answer 9

i'm sooooo sorry dear. that is something that no one your age should have to deal with.

you deal by grieving, by remembering, and by putting one foot in front of the other even when you don't think you can. you can't just make this go away, and after a while, you won't want to - that grief will become part of your memories of her, and those memories will be what you cling to.

right now this loss is a gaping hole in your life. in time, little by little, that hole will fill in around the edges. the scar will always be there, but it will stop hurting so badly. there is just no way to move quickly through that process i'm afraid.

my very deepest condolences to you and to your friend's family.

Answer 10

You are young, but not too young to realize that death is a part of life. No one comes here to stay.
I firmly believe that God appoints our time here for his purpose. Your friend's time was up. She accomplished what God's plan was for her life and has been returned back to him.
When I lose a loved one I do not mourn as those who have no hope. Jesus is the Ressurection and the life. He never makes a mistake. Psalms 24 says that the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof and those who dwell therein. Though short, your friends life was full in that there are those who mourn her, including you.
Your friend's death was untimely by our standards, but not by God's. He only claimed what was his; in his time. Humbly submit to his will and cherish the memory of your friend. In time, the pain of loss will fade to the joy of having the chance to know her. Live your best life in tribute to her memory and in thanks to God for blessing you each day you remain in the land of the living.
God bless you.